- Lydia Deitz: Though I know should be wary, Still I venture someplace scary! Ghostly hauntings I turn loose Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!
- [repeated line]
- Beetlejuice: [swats a bug with his hand and puts it in his pocket] Save THAT guy for later!
- Beetlejuice: [hears moaning] Babes, what's wrong?
- Lydia Deitz: My mom's a real trip. She's hosting a trendy combination seance and tackyware party
- Delia Deitz: [In the dining room, Delia, wearing a turban, has her guest sitting around a crystal ball] Calling all spirits fantastic, come to my tackyware party of plastic!
- [ahs and moans]
- [Lydia has banished Beetlejuice back to the Neitherworld, but Claire has heard her...]
- Claire Brewster: Beetlejuice?
- Beetlejuice: That's my name!
- [Half of him appears in the real world, miniaturized]
- Beetlejuice: Now, come on, give me two more!
- Claire Brewster: What kind of a name is BEETLEJUICE?
- Beetlejuice: Yeah!
- [His body is now intact, but he's still six inches high...]
- Claire Brewster: I mean, really...
- Beetlejuice: Hey!
- Claire Brewster: ...have you ever heard of such...
- Beetlejuice: Come ON!...
- Claire Brewster: ...a ridiculous name as...
- Beetlejuice: SAY IT!
- Claire Brewster: ...Beetlejuice?
- [Beetlejuice is now at full size...]
- Beetlejuice: It's SHOWTIME!
- Claire Brewster: HUH?
- [Beetlejuice takes control of Claire's body]
- Claire Brewster: Okay Claire, let's get out here and SLAY them!
- [Beetlejuice has heard that Mr. Fungus, a talking mould in his refrigerator, now has a family]
- Beetlejuice: [to Mr. Fungus] Great - I'll raise your rent!
- Beetlejuice: [about the Monster Across the Street] I'm gonna turn that tinhorn tumbleweed into prairie purÈe!
- Beetlejuice: [a tumbleweed rolls between Beetlejuice's legs] Whoa! So *that's* why cowboys have bow legs.
- Boris To-Death: [Heard announcing the feature movie] Tonight, on Moster Movie Madness, we bring you... "The Thing That Ate New Jersey on Rye", starring the greatest actor in the *universe*...
- Lydia Deitz: Boris To-Death
- [sighs in admiration]