Short Circuit 2 (1988)
Michael McKean: Fred Ritter
Photos
Quotes
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Fred : Are you ok.
Johnny Five : Functioning 100%. Perfectly ko Derf.
Fred : It's Fred.
Johnny Five : That's what I said, Derf.
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Fred : Benny? You're leaving me with my back to the wall here. I mean, we gotta come up with something!
Ben Jarhvi : It is not possible. We are the type of people who have everything in our favor going against us.
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Ben Jarhvi : Oh, now, now we are un-employers.
Fred : Oh, look, we still got all of the robot parts in the van; I can get a new staff together...
Ben Jarhvi : But we are having no more money and now we are having no equipment. To assemble the robots with our naked hands, it would be slower than - than moles' asses in January.
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Fred : I'm SORRY I tried to sell your god damned robot. Okay? It was a dirty trick. I'm a jerk. I'm a sleaze-ball.
Ben Jarhvi : You are getting warmer.
Fred : It's just that when you OWE as much money as I do, it kind of puts you under pressure. You know?
Ben Jarhvi : And who would be foolish enough to loan money to you?
Fred : [groans] Don't rub it in. I had to go to a shark.
Ben Jarhvi : Oh, dearie! Now you're expecting me to believe that you borrowed money from a fish!
Fred : No, no. A Loan Shark. It's somebody, if you don't pay them back right away, they start removing popular parts of your anatomy.
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Fred : I thought you said this thing mis-functioned on you.
Ben Jarhvi : Oh, that is a falsity. What actually happened was we were working on him one day and suddenly he is struck by lightning. And, from this moment on, he's having a mind of his own. So, the government tried to destroy him so he ran away. So, now he's living with my friend in Montana, in a cabin, in the woods, in... cognito.
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Fred : You just fall off the banana boat, or what?
Ben Jarhvi : I do not travel with bananas, sir!
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Johnny Five : Frederick, I have an important question. Why do humans not like me, call me "craphead"?
Fred : They like you. They like you. Craphead is a compliment.
Johnny Five : Oh...
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Ben Jarhvi : [is locked in a freezer with Fred and reading fortune cookies] "The warmth in your heart makes others ha-ha-happy".
Fred : I still like this one
[reads the one in his hand]
Fred : "Opportunity is waiting, you need but to open the door".
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Fred : We gotta go! You see those two guys over there?
[points towards two advancing policemen]
Fred : They want to take your books away!
Johnny Five : [horrified gasp]
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Fred : [burning himself with a soldering iron] Jesus!
Johnny Five : Christ, lived from 1 to 33 AD.
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Johnny Five : Am not human, but am a life-form, have soul. But him me killed to try.
Fred : Hey wait a minute J5, what do you think you're gonna do?
Johnny Five : Pursue! Capture! Incarcerate!
Fred : Come on now man, these are serious guys! You're not in top form, and your backup battery is all used up!
Johnny Five : I'm okay-kay, just a few biddly-biddly Bugs Bunny to work out in out in! Perfectly functionality, functionality!
Fred : Oh yeah sure, listen to yourself, you can't even talk straight!
Johnny Five : Derf, a life-form's gotta do what a life-form's gotta do. Stand aside.
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Johnny Five : Fred wants to sell ME?'!
Fred : [laughs] Oh, J-5, c'mon, it's just a figure of speech.
Johnny Five : Am not property, Frederick! One whose person is under control of another as master, is a SLAVE!
Robotic Company Executive : That's all we need: A robot who's into equal rights.
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Manic Mike : [Seeing a battle-clad Johnny charging out of his locked store] Hey! How did you get in there?
Fred : [Running after Johnny] Hey, life form! Cool it!
Manic Mike : What is that? How much you want for it?
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Fred : [Trying to repair Johnny before his battery fails] I'm no good at this!
Johnny Five : Fifteen minutes, you have, to get good.
Fred : Fifteen minutes?
Johnny Five : Plenty of time... time... in a sort of runic rhyme...
Fred : [Waving his hand in front of Johnny's face] All right! Don't lose it!
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Fred : what? no what a second you dont get to go sight seeing
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Fred : what what? youve been out ripping stuff off?
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Fred : no they scammed you see they tricked your ass.
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Fred : oh she is huh? i thought you said this thing malfunctioned on you.
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Fred : oscar really that guy? rule number one you cant trust any of them.