Dudes (1987)

Jon Cryer: Grant

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Quotes 

• Grant : Look, Milo, we're talking about real life here, okay? Real life is not California. Real life is a shit sandwich and every day you gotta take another bite.

• [first lines] 

  Milo : I'm so sick of doing this; I'm sick of waiting for the world to end.

  Biscut : Me, too. Why don't we do something else for a change?

  Grant : Yeah? Like what?

  Biscut : Well, if we put our heads together, maybe we could figure something out.

  Grant : My head just got stepped on. I can't think of nothing.

  Milo : California! Let's move to California!

  Biscut : I got a job. I got responsibilities.

  Milo : Biscut, you're washing dishes in a shithole, brother. Personally, I think you could risk the career change.

• Daredelvis : So, what's y'all fellas' line of work?

  Grant : Survival.

  Daredelvis : Oh, well that's the slowest form of suicide.

  [hands Grant his business card] 

  Daredelvis : Well, look, man, if I can ever be of any help...

  Grant : [reading]  Dared-delvis...? Horse trader, snake charmer, marriage counselor, divorce lawyer, musician, poker player, stunt driver, dowser, clairvoyant, actor, poet.

  Daredelvis : Yeah, man, but my real bread and butter's the Bullfightin' scene. You really oughta' catch my act sometime - it's going nowhere but up!

• Grant : Is there anything you don't do?

  Daredelvis : Not a damned thing.

• Grant : Real life is a shit sandwich.

• Grant : [in the jail]  Will you shut up?

  Hezekiah : Well, I play requests, you know...

  Biscut : Yeah? How 'bout "Holiday in Cambodia" by the Dead Kennedys?

  Hezekiah : Are the Kennedys dead? What a bummer!

• Missoula : [in the bar]  Now, Hopalong, I want you to take a good, long look at these two mugs you see in front of you, and you tell me if you can with that little pea brain of yours rattling around inside that gourd which of us is the ugliest?

  Grant : [Glares at him and points]  You are.

  Missoula : How ugly am I?

  Grant : BUTT ugly.

• Jessie : Where did he get that name..."Biscuit"?

  Grant : Dog biscuits. We used to eat 'em when we were kids, only... he never stopped. He's got great teeth, though. Entirely free of unsightly plaque.

• Grant : I was just wondering, what are you doing here? It just... I mean it just seems like... a waste.

  Jessie : My husband and I moved out here from Chicago. It was his idea to get back to the land. To be a rancher. But he found out that he didn't like to get his hands dirty. And I did. So he left. I'm still here, and I'm doing just fine.