Lucas (1986)

Jeremy Piven: Spike

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Lucas walks into the school shower with the other football jocks] 

  Bruno : Hey, Leukoplakia. They got a jockstrap that can fit you? Hey, maybe one of you guys should stop by sewing class and pick up a thimble, Lucas here needs a jockstrap. Or maybe a thimble would be too big. Hey, anybody got a contact lens? A contact lens with a Band-Aid.

  Lucas : Are you referring to the size of my penis?

  Bruno : Yeah I am.

  Lucas : With a flaccid penis, it's the number of folds that count. And anyway, I don't get semi-erect around other males like some of you fellas do.

  Bruno : What'd you say?

  Lucas : It's a study done by the University of Illinois. You can tell the fags in a warm shower by who's got the longest dong. Look, yours seems to be growing even now.

  Bruno : The hell it is.

  Lucas : [Lucas points]  It is, look.

  Spike : Hey, look. He's getting a hard-on. Don't nobody bend over to pick up the soap.

  Bruno : You little shit.

  Lucas : Oh. They say physical violence is an expression of sexual feeling.

  [Bruno and Spike charge Lucas and carry him with the rest of the football players]