Howard the Duck (1986)

Lea Thompson: Beverly Switzler

Photos 

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Quotes 

• [Together in bed, Beverly seducing Howard] 

  Howard T. Duck : [flustered]  I've got a headache...

  Beverly : And I've got the aspirin!

  Howard T. Duck : Be gentle.

• Howard T. Duck : I've given up trying to assimilate. I've got to get back to my own kind!

  [notices Beverly's behind as he watches her crawl across the top of her bed in her underwear] 

  Howard T. Duck : Althoooooough... I HAVE developed a greater appreciation for the female version of the human anatomy... ARROOOOO!

  Beverly : Howard, you really are the worst!

  Howard T. Duck : He-he!

  Beverly : Come on, let's watch David Letterman. Come on!

  [Pats the bed] 

  Howard T. Duck : Okie-dookie.

• Beverly : I was worried about you. I missed you.

  Howard T. Duck : Well, sex appeal. Some guys got it - and some guys don't.

• Dr. Jenning : It feels like something inside me, gnawing at my guts... what's wrong with me?

  Beverly : Well... what did you have for lunch?

• Howard T. Duck : Bev, I am not a real sentimental guy.

  Beverly : No. I bet you were born from a very hard-boiled egg, Duckie.

• [last lines] 

  Howard T. Duck : Not bad for a duck from outer space.

  Beverly : You were great, Duckie!

• Beverly : You got some place to go?

  Howard T. Duck : Hey, if I had some place to go I certainly wouldn't be in 'Cleve-Land'.

• Beverly : I don't know where you are now, but I hope you're happier there. This world didn't treat you very good, but you saved it, didn't you?

• Beverly : I'm sorry I'm so nervous. It's just that I've never been around a... Um, I mean, I've never even had any pets or anything, you know. They seem like such a hassle - you know, feeding 'em, cleaning up their little poo-poos, and...

  Howard T. Duck : I'll try to be careful.

• Beverly : Hiya, Duckie.

  Howard T. Duck : Hi, Tootse.

• Howard T. Duck : What is this place?

  Beverly : Uh... Cleveland?

  Howard T. Duck : Cleve-Land? U-huh. That's a perfect weird name for this planet.

• Dr. Jenning : [at the diner, as the Dark Overlord]  I have disguised my true form, which would be considered... hideous and revolting, here.

  Beverly : Lucky for the people eating.

• Beverly : Make yourself at home.

  Howard T. Duck : Make myself at home? I wish.

• Beverly : Excuse me, are you in charge here?

  Lieutenant Welker : Yeah, why?

  Beverly : Well, I want to know why they're harassing Howard.

  Lieutenant Welker : Who's Howard?

  Beverly : He had nothing to do with it. Howard, Howard is just an innocent, um...

  Lieutenant Welker : "Thing"?

  Beverly : No. Duck.

  Lieutenant Welker : Just an innocent duck?

  [Beverly nods] 

  Lieutenant Welker : [to Officer Hanson]  No wonder why I'm asking for early retirement.

• Dr. Jenning : I told you, bird-brain, I am not Jenning anymore! I am now one of the Dark Overlords of the Universe.

  Beverly : Hmm, Dark Overlord of the Universe?

  Howard T. Duck : That must be quite a responsibility.

• Beverly : What am I gonna do with you, Duckie?

• Beverly : I just can't seem to find the right man.

  Howard T. Duck : Maybe it's not a man you should be looking for.

  Beverly : Ah, you think I might find happiness in the animal kingdom, Duckie?

  Howard T. Duck : Like they say, Doll, love's strange. We could always give it a try.

  Beverly : Okay, let's go for it Mr. Macho.

• Beverly : [to Howard as they lie in bed together]  I just can't resist your intense animal magnetism.

  [the feathers on the top of Howard's head stick straight up] 

• Beverly : [Picks up a handful of feathers]  What's this in my bed?

  Howard T. Duck : Ah, souvenirs?

  Beverly : I'm gonna miss you a lot, Duckie.

• Beverly : Put him down! Howard may be a duck, but you people are animals! He's my boyfriend!

  3rd Trucker : That's disgusting!

  Beverly : You don't make me proud to be a human!

• Beverly : Listen, would you like something to eat or drink? Milk? I could put it in a bowl?

  Howard T. Duck : Doll, I don't drink out of bowls. Do you gotta beer?

• Beverly : If that's the way you want it! Then, so long, Duckie!

  Howard T. Duck : Don't shed any tears over me, Tootse!

• Beverly : You play pretty good.

  Howard T. Duck : I had a group in high school: Howard and the Heartbreakers.

  Beverly : Oh, heavy, Howard. Very heavy. Maybe you should be our manager. Wait a second. Maybe you're just the kind of bizarro influence we need!

• Beverly : Book 'em, duck-o.

• Beverly : Okay. Alright. Turn me into a dark overlord. I'll still spit in your wormy face!

• Beverly : He's my favorite duck.

  Dr. Jenning : You hardly know him.

• Howard T. Duck : Aren't you going to see me off?

  Beverly : Sure I am. I just hope they let you take a carry-on bag. Look, I'm gonna put in these polaroids that we took at the club.

• Phil Blumburtt : I've already got a theory.

  Beverly : What theory?

  Phil Blumburtt : Well, this is, of course, the evolutionary ladder showing how man progressed from monkey to me, for instance.

  Howard T. Duck : You consider that progress? Jeez, you're all hairless apes? That's really disgusting.

  Phil Blumburtt : Now, I want you both to imagine, somewhere in the universe, is Howard's world. Picture it, in your mind, a world almost exactly like ours except the progenitor of the dominant species was not a monkey - but, a duck!

  Howard T. Duck : Sound theory. Every school duck knows this stuff!

• Phil Blumburtt : [With Beverly in tow, a depressed Howard exits the museum where Phil works]  ... Beverly! Howard, wait! Come on, don't flutter off in a huff. Listen, I've got some important matters to clean up here...

  Dr. Chapin : [from back in the museum]  Blumburtt! Did you hear what I said?

  Phil Blumburtt : ...I'll call you tonight.

  Dr. Chapin : Blumburtt, I want you back in here! Now!

  Phil Blumburtt : I'll figure out a way to help Howard, I swear. Just don't show him to anybody else...

  Howard T. Duck : I understand, Phil; it's the thought that counts...

  [notices a young couple on the street] 

  Howard T. Duck : ... They look hungry; get 'em a banana.

  Phil Blumburtt : Hide him, Beverly! Take him to a movie or something!

  Howard T. Duck : That sounds like an idea. What's playing?

  Beverly : Look, Howard, I didn't know where else to go for help.

  Howard T. Duck : Your hand still beats mine; I'm not sure where to go, period.

  Dr. Chapin : BLUMBURTT! WHERE ARE YOU? INSIDE!

  Phil Blumburtt : Coming, coming!

  Beverly : Howard, are you sure you're okay?

  Howard T. Duck : Of course; why shouldn't I be? I only got blasted jillions of miles through space, ended up on another planet, and was just given an IQ test by a janitor. Hasn't everybody had at least one day like that?

  Beverly : Look, you may be trapped in a world you never made; but, to put it philosophically, who isn't? Heck, *I* didn't make this world either. If I had, my whole career wouldn't be falling apart.

  Howard T. Duck : ...Touche, Bev. How's this for a deal: I fix your career, you fix my life. Sound fair?

  [several children laughingly rush Howard, with their Teacher in tow] 

  Teacher : Look at this wonderful exhibit!

  Howard T. Duck : EXHIBIT? Nice. For a minute, I thought you were gonna call me a freak or an outcast... like in *The Elephant Duck*! Now THERE was a downer.

  Teacher : It's so lifelike and realistic.

  Howard T. Duck : I cannot begin to tell you how right-at-home that makes me feel.

• Beverly : You're gonna just sit there?

  Dr. Jenning : She took my eggs.