Top Secret! (1984)
Val Kilmer: Nick Rivers
Photos
Quotes
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[Nick and Hillary arrive at the Potato Farm. Shetland pony is coughing]
Nick Rivers : What's wrong with him?
Wagon Driver : Oh, he caught a cold last week and he's just a little hoarse.
Horse : [singing as they leave] It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog...
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Nick Rivers : Listen to me, Hillary. I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist, only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island, who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground.
Hillary Flammond : I know. It all sounds like some bad movie.
[Long pause. Both very slowly turn to the camera]
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Hillary Flammond : My uncle was born in America.
Nick Rivers : Oh, really?
Hillary Flammond : But he was one of the lucky ones. He managed to escape in a balloon during the Jimmy Carter presidency.
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Doctor Flamond : You see, a year ago, I was close to perfecting the first magnetic desalinization process so revolutionary, it was capable of removing the salt from over 500 million gallons of seawater a day. Do you realize what that could mean to the starving nations of the earth?
Nick Rivers : Wow. They'd have enough salt to last forever.
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Nick Rivers : Is this the potato farm?
Albert Potato, Resistance Member : Yes, I'm Albert Potato.
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[Introducing his men]
Du Quois : This is Chevalier, Montage, Detente, Avant-garde, and Deja Vu.
Deja Vu : Have we met before monsieur ?
Nick Rivers : I don't think so.
[Deja Vu continues to eye him suspiciously]
Du Quois : Over there, Croissant, Souffle, Escargot, and Chocolate Mousse.
[Chocolate Mousse unblinking puts his lit cigar in his mouth and eats it]
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Nick Rivers : Martin, I've been practicing. How this?
Nick Rivers : Ist Ihr Tochter achtzehn, bitte?
Martin : What does that mean?
Nick Rivers : Is your daughter eighteen?
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Nick Rivers : Hillary. That's an unusual name.
Hillary Flammond : It's a German name. It means 'she whose bosoms defy gravity'.
Nick Rivers : I'm pleased to meet you. My name's Nick.
Hillary Flammond : Nick? What does that mean?
Nick Rivers : Oh, nothing. My dad thought of it while he was shaving.
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Du Quois : Well, Mr. Rivers, it seems that you have become- How do you say indispensable?
Nick Rivers : Indispensable.
Du Quois : That's what I thought.
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[on train at checkpoint]
Nick Rivers : Where are they taking him?
Colonel von Horst : They are not taking him anywhere.
[gunshot is heard off screen]
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[Doctor Flamond is being rescued. He is scooping dirt with a tablespoon]
Doctor Flamond : How ironic. Another day and I would have completed my tunnel.
Nick Rivers : [Bends down to a hole in the wall to see a stock photo of the Lincoln tunnel to New Jersey] Nice work!
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Hillary Flammond : Things change, people change, hairstyles change...
Nick Rivers : Hillary, I want you to be with me.
Hillary Flammond : Interest rates fluctuate. Who knows?
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Nick Rivers : Are you in some kind of trouble with the police?
Hillary Flammond : Some things are much better left unsaid.
Nick Rivers : Like what?
Hillary Flammond : Well, you know... sometimes when you blow your nose into a tissue and you put it in your purse, then a little while later you have to reach in there for your lipstick or something, and your hand gushes into it, and it goes all over...
Nick Rivers : Okay, okay, you're right, you're right. Some things are better left unsaid.
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Hillary Flammond : Come on. We've got to get out of here.
Nick Rivers : Don't you think we ought to wait for the police?
Hillary Flammond : That was the police!
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Nick Rivers : Do you mind if I have a swig of this?
[picks up bottle]
Chocolate Mousse, Resistance Member : Go right ahead.
Nick Rivers : [takes a mouthful, spits in disgust] What the hell is this stuff?
Chocolate Mousse, Resistance Member : Gasoline.
[laughs and takes a swig himself]
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Hillary Flammond : [in German] What do you recommend?
Waiter : [in German] I recommend the pork bellies marinated in diced pig entrails or the roast swine knuckles poached with flaming hog balls.
Nick Rivers : Anything's fine.
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Der Pizzahaus Girl : Excuse me but aren't you Nick Rivers, the American rock 'n' roll star?
Nick Rivers : No. No I'm not.
Der Pizzahaus Girl : Oh, but you must be. If you could sing just one song...
Nick Rivers : I'm sorry but you must have me confused with someone else. I'm, uh... Mel Torme.
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Nick Rivers : Seems as long as I know my way around that prison, I'll never be lonely.
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Chocolate Mousse, Resistance Member : Something's wrong here. Where's the truck?
Nick Rivers : Where's Hillary?
Deja Vu : I'm hungry.
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Nick Rivers : [singing a jingle he wrote] Are you lonesome tonight? Is your kitchen a sight? Is your wardrobe all rundown and bare? Is your lipstick all smeared? Are your stockings not sheer? Do they make your legs show all your hair? Do the tears on your pillow roll down as you turn? Do they short out the blanket and make the sheets burn? Is your heart filled with pain? Will you come back again? Shop at Macy's and love me tonight!
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Doctor Flamond : Well, young one, I had the secret police break into my house, they tore me from my family, ransacked my laboratory and... brought me to this dungeon.
Nick Rivers : That sucks!
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Nick Rivers : I think you'd really like America. We've got the Liberty Bell, Disneyland on both coasts. It's happening.
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Nick Rivers : [singing] You set my heart on fire, It's burning with desire, Your touch, your lips, your soul, You make me lose control, Baby, please, Baby, please...
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Nick Rivers : [singing] A-wop-bop-a-loo-mop-a-lop-bam-boom!
