(1982)

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6/10
The Sound of One Hand Clapping
Nodriesrespect21 October 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Roberta Findlay's anything goes (including the kitchen sink) approach to comedy works best within the sort of free form narrative she employed on fornication farces like SLIP UP or SWEET, SWEET FREEDOM a/k/a HOT NURSES. On such occasions she achieves an almost anarchist brand of movie-making madness where pretty much anything can occur at any given moment as long as it gets a laugh, even if it is one of disbelief. H.C. Potter's comparatively sane film version of Nat Perrin's famously lunatic stage play HELLZAPOPPIN' seems to have been of great influence on her style.

Tied down by the demands of spoofing an already existing popular source, in this case Mel Brooks' magnificent 1968 comedy classic THE PRODUCERS, Findlay's clearly out of her league however. Though departing from a solid screenplay she co-authored with R. Allen Leider (who would subsequently pen GLITTER and the straight horror offering THE ORACLE for her), the movie wavers wildly between effective and embarrassing, directed so broadly as to have scene punchlines virtually disappear amid the loud kvetching of a cast largely left to its own devices. Fortunately, several of these performers (Bobby Astyr, Robert Kerman, Ron Jeremy, Veronica Hart & Samantha Fox) have a theater background they can fall back on, rendering their shtick more palatable than that of their noticeably floundering colleagues.

If you recall the plot of THE PRODUCERS, you'll know that it centers around a patron of the arts trying to put one over on the IRS - to whom he owes all too many years of back taxes - by knowingly investing in a certifiable stage flop ("Springtime for Hitler") set up as a complicated yet ingenuous money-laundering operation. Here it's Astyr's Mr. Cashbox who's in dire straits until his equally shifty shyster buddies Jeremy (as lawyer Fillpotts of Fillpotts & Slime) and Kerman (as legal loophole expert Rufus Quim) devise an escape route through the funding of a surefire stinker entitled "Piece and War", a sexed-up rendition of the last days of the Russian Romanov dynasty.

Meanwhile, at the Hysterium theater, self-obsessed writer/director Stan Slavsky (handsome Gregory Lions a/k/a "Roderick Pierce" who played a rare lead in the late Chris Covino's endearing BABE) means to cast a talent-barren but big-breasted ingénue to increase his play's audience appeal. Enter Suzy from Trotsville (one shot Sanja Sorello, looking like a cross between Sharon Mitchell and Liza Minnelli), helpfully informed by a full page ad in Variety that there's absolutely no stage experience required. Her (initial) resistance of the casting couch process temporarily throws a spanner into the works.

Adding insult to injury, Cashbox and his cronies decide to hedge their bets by casting the "world's worst actress" (who just happens to be Quim's sister) Tootsie Lamarr in the part of Rasputin-shagging Empress Alexandra. Quite possibly the adult industry's best actress at that time, Veronica Hart has a field day as a vulgar yet vivacious guttersnipe demanding rather than submitting to the producer's amorous advances if she's to star in their show ! Cashbox's mistress, renowned theater critic Billie Haggard (Fox), agrees to deliver a scathing review provided he keeps her sweet in the bedroom but changes her tune when she catches him in flagrante with busty fellow critic Lisa Be, whose creamy complexion has never appeared more luminous as caressingly photographed by La Findlay's expert camera. One of the film's funniest bits has Billie exacting revenge - Sam's on fire here - by rallying the appalled first act audience TWELVE ANGRY MEN style towards a 180° change of opinion.

By aiming her attention at the zany plot, going for broke, Findlay seems to have lost sight of the sex scenes, most of which end up perfunctory and bereft of eroticism since performers were instructed to project all the way to the back row, mugging shamelessly throughout coitus which will have you yearning for an interruptus ! Uncharacteristically pressed into duty as flick's prime stud, late funny guy Astyr (who passed away from lung cancer a few years back) winds up turning in the most serviceable shtups with Fox and Be.
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8/10
turned me on anyway
FewPicklesShort25 March 2006
Saw this a few years after it was made. Back in those days, porn films more often than not had a plot, which made them even better cuz one minute you're watching the characters go about their normal lives la dee da and the next minute they're getting buck naked, which is more of a turn-on than just straight sex.

The comedic plot involves a Mel Brooks' "Producers" style scenario about a wealthy guy deliberately puts on a flop play as a tax write-off (the play is about the Russian revolution, and this is probably the only porn film ever where someone uses the word "mensheviks").

As I recall no full frontal nudity but lots of undulating flesh nonetheless. Ron Jeremy is amusing as the lawyer who sets up the whole tax write-off. There is a rather obvious and none-too-subtle satirical scene about a hypocritical judge who lambastes the sex trade. You get the impression that the guys who made this thought they were gonna be doing something a bit better than the average porn film, (sorta life Jack Horner in Boogie Nights)and for the most part they succeeded.
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Fun Porn Take Off on The Producers
Michael_Elliott30 August 2018
Liquid A$$ets (1982)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

If you've seen Mel Brooks' THE PRODUCERS then what you're getting here is basically a porn spoof. This Roberta Findlay film has a man putting on a dirty play in hopes that it will bomb but we all know what happens.

It's always hard to make a spoof of a spoof and that's basically what LIQUID A$$ETS is. After all, the Brooks film wasn't really a comedy, per sa, but instead of a spoof of the genre itself. With that in mind, this film here is a mildly interesting seeing how they rip on the Brooks film but at the same time I really didn't find the comedy to work all that well. There are a few funny moments here and there but for a film that was meant to be a comedy I think it doesn't completely succeed at that.

Where the film does work is as a pure porno piece. There's no doubt that Findlay did a very good job with the sex scenes as most of them are either creative, erotic and sometimes both. It also helps that you've got such a strong cast here for fans of the genre. Fan favorites Samantha Fox and Veronica Hart are on hand, both as attractive and as fun as you'd expect. you've also got Robert Kerman and Ron Jeremy who probably steals the film during a sequence where he takes on a blow up doll. Finally, fans of THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT will see Fred J. Lincoln in a small role.

The film is certainly shot well, features a nice song/score and for the most part it is entertaining enough for what it is. Fans of the genre will certainly enjoy it but I do wish the comedy had been a tad bit better.
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8/10
Funny hardcore version of "The Producers"
Woodyanders25 September 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Wealthy Mr. Cashbox (the always amusing Bobby Astyr) runs the risk of getting hit with a huge tax bill due to the fact that he has too much money. Cashbox decides to rectify the situation by funding a sure to flop play called "Piece and War" that's the pet project of the self-absorbed Stan Slavsky (a hysterically pompous portrayal by Rod Pierce) under the hope that said play's failure can be used as a tax write off.

Directors Roberta Findlay and Walter Sear maintain an amiably breezy tone-in-cheek tone and relate the enjoyably wacky story at a snappy pace. The humor tends to be pretty crude (for example, sleazy lawyer Ron Jeremy does the dirty deed with a blow-up doll), but is still quite funny in an admittedly broad and silly sort of way. Moreover, it's acted with gusto by an enthusiastic cast: Samantha Fox as lusty and influential theater critic Billie, Sharon Kane as the brash Bessie, Veronica Hart as crass no-talent actress Tootsie Lamarr, Robert Kerman as shifty lawyer Rufus Quim, Lisa Be as a rival theater critic, and Fred Lincoln as a lascivious judge. Findlay's crisp cinematography provides a pleasing bright look. Right on groovy theme song, too. A real hoot.
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