The Last American Virgin (1982)

Lawrence Monoson: Gary

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Druggist : [1:04:02]  Your balls itch? Crabs! At your age? Young people. Don't worry about it. Now if you take this and apply it 3 times a day. Those little things will go away in no time.

  Gary : Thank you. Thanks

  Druggist : You're welcome

  Gary : Pay him

  David : How much do I owe you?

  Druggist : $3.99

  David : Crab killer: $3.99

• Rose : [2:03]  Pink Bubblegum please.

  Karen : Pink Bubblegum?

  Rose : Yeah. It's the flavor of the month.

  Soda Jerk : [2:35]  She's fine isn't she?

  [commenting on Gary staring at Karen after she gets her ice cream] 

  Gary : Yes! Do you know who she is?

  Soda Jerk : Never seen her before in my life!

• David : [19:11]  What are you hiding, Victor?

  Victor : Buzz off blimp.

  Gary : Come on guys. There's probably nothing there to see anyway.

  Victor : Oh yeah? I bet you guys wish you had what I have.

  David : The guy who's got the biggest tool, he's the one who wins the pool!

• Gary : Four for Earl.

  Earl : Four? Are you sure?

  David : Half. Give him half.

  Gary : Ok, we'll give you another half.

  Earl : Gee, thanks guys!

• Rose : [1:02:16]  How's the pizza world?

  Gary : It's round, Rose!

• Rick : [1:14:45]  Any time Pizza Boy! Any time Gary, man!

  Gary : You're the biggest lowlife I've ever met!

• Gary : [52:51]  Here he comes

  Rick : Hey, what's shakin, guys?

  David : How's it goin', Rick?

  Gary : Hi, what's happenin'?

  Rick : Hey, you know what's happenin'! Let's have it!

  Gary : Let's have what?

  Gary : Let me have what?

  Rick : What do you mean let me have what! I believe we talked about a key to somebody's grandmother's house!

  Gary : Oh... that... Rick, I looked all over for it, I couldn't find it. Didn't we look for it, David?

  David : Yeah, we did, we couldn't find it anywhere

• David : [20:39]  1, 2, 3, 4. Thank you. Hey Gary

  Gary : Hi

  David : Don't strain your eyeballs

  Gary : Do you know who she is?

  David : Which one? The one with the purple streak in her hair?

  Gary : No. The other one, turkey

  David : I think her name is Karen

  Gary : Karen what?

  Gary : I don't know! She just moved here about a week ago

  David : Can you find out where she lives?

  Gary : Sure, no sweat. For a small fee I think I can find out