Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
Judge Reinhold: Brad Hamilton
Photos
Quotes
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Businessman : It says one hundred percent guaranteed, you moron!
Brad Hamilton : Mister, if you don't shut up I'm gonna kick one hundred percent of your ass!
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Jeff Spicoli : [5:36] No shirt, no shoes...
Jeff and Stoner Buds : No dice! Ohhhh.
Brad Hamilton : Right. Learn it. Know it. Live it.
Jeff Spicoli : He's the full hot orator.
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Brad Hamilton : Why don't you get a job Spicoli?
Jeff Spicoli : What for?
Brad Hamilton : You need money.
Jeff Spicoli : All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.
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Brad Hamilton : [after Linda opens the door on him while he is masturbating] Jeez. Doesn't anyone fucking knock any more?
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Brad Hamilton : Hope you had a hell of a piss, Arnold!
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Pirate King : Hamilton, you're going over there as a representative of Captain Hook Fish and Chips. Part of our image, part of our appeal is that uniform, you know that.
Brad Hamilton : You really want me to put this stuff back on?
Pirate King : Yes, I do. Show a little pride.
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[Stacy Hamilton exits the abortion-clinic building, which is across the street from a bowling alley]
Brad Hamilton : [to Stacy] Since when do you go bowling?
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Brad Hamilton : Get off my case, motherfucker!
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Brad Hamilton : [dumping out cold fries] I shall serve no fries before their time.
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Dennis Taylor : Hamilton, did you threaten this customer or use profanity in any way?
Brad Hamilton : Well, he started it; he called me a moron, Dennis.
Dennis Taylor : [firmly] Answer! Did you threaten this customer or use profanity in any way?
Brad Hamilton : Yes.
Dennis Taylor : You're fired.
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[upon entering the restaurant where Brad Hamilton works, Jeff Spicoli and his two friends take off their shirts]
Brad Hamilton : Hey, you guys had shirts on when you came in here.
Jeff Spicoli : Well, something must have happened to them.
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Brad Hamilton : [Television Version, when Mrs. O'Rourke discussed to Brad about his life, and he fires back at her] You know what Mrs. O'Rourke, you don't know me at all. I broke up with my girlfriend this year, I lost my job at All American Burger and two other places. I wake up, at 5:30 to go to work at Mi-T-Mart. Then, I go to school and, go back to Mi-T-Mart. My grades aren't that bad and, you're telling me the fun is over. Man, I'm still waiting for the fun to start!
[Mrs. O'Rourke, shakes her head]
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Brad Hamilton : Arnold, do you want to work at All-American Burger?
Arnold : Yeah, well, um...
Brad Hamilton : I can probably get you in there. Just let me talk to Dennis Taylor.
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Brad Hamilton : Do you want to go to the Point tonight?
Lisa : What's there to do at the Point?
Brad Hamilton : What do you mean, "What's there to do at the Point?" We've been going out together for two years.
Lisa : I don't want to have to use sex as a tool, Brad.
Brad Hamilton : Tool? Tool, for what?
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Brad Hamilton : Yes, sir, can I help you?
Businessman : Uh, yes, this is not the best breakfast I've ever had and I'd like my money back.
Brad Hamilton : Uh, okay, I believe you have to fill out a form for that.
Businessman : Uh, no, I'd like my money back now.
Brad Hamilton : I'm sorry, it doesn't work that way. You see, I have to fill out a form and--
[looks down at the half-eaten breakfast]
Brad Hamilton : --well, you ate most of it, already, so...
Businessman : [points at the 100% Guaranteed sign] You see that sign? It says "100 % Guaranteed". You know what the meaning of "guarantee" is? Did they teach you that here?
Brad Hamilton : Sir, I...
Businessman : Look, just put your little hand back into the cash register and give me my two dollars and seventy-five cents back, please...
[looks at Brad's name tag]
Businessman : ... Brad.
Brad Hamilton : Sir, if you'd just give me a minute, I'll find the forms. I'll take care of everything.
[gets down to search under the counter]
Businessman : I don't have a minute. You made me late enough. I am so tired of dealing with incompetence.
[coming out of the restroom, Arnold hears the angry customer and goes back in]
Businessman : It says "100 % Guaranteed", you moron!
Brad Hamilton : [jumps up angrily] MISTER, IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP, I'M GONNA KICK ONE HUNDERED PERCENT OF YOUR ASS!
[hearing the commotion, Dennis immediately appears]
Dennis Taylor : Uh, is there a problem here? Can I help you, sir?
Businessman : You bet you have a problem. Your employee here threatened me with violence. I'm surprised. I eat here, all the time, and I usually get good service until today. All I wanted was money back on this breakfast. It was a little undercooked and he threatens me with violence. Now, I'm going to speak to your supervisor...
Dennis Taylor : [holds up a hand to stop him] Uh, I can take care of this. Mr. Hamilton, did you threaten this customer with violence or use profanity in any way?
Brad Hamilton : Well, he insulted me, first. He called me a moron, Dennis.
Dennis Taylor : Answer me! Did you threaten this customer with violence or use profanity in any way?
Brad Hamilton : Yes!
Dennis Taylor : You're fired.
[to the customer, who smiles happily at Brad]
Dennis Taylor : I'm sorry, sir, I'll refund your money, right now.
[Brad angrily takes off his hat and apron and storms towards the exit]
Dennis Taylor : Hope you won't hold this against us. You know how kids are, these days. Here we are. Perhaps another breakfast?
Brad Hamilton : [slams his hand on the men's restroom door] I hope you had a hell of a piss, Arnold!
