S.O.B. (1981)

Richard Mulligan: Felix Farmer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Agnes : I mean, how erotic do you really want to go?

  Felix Farmer : Go, go. E-R-O-T-I-C! Go! Go! Go!

  Agnes : Sally Miles, America's G-rated darling, in the B-U-F-F?

  Felix Farmer : Why not?

  Agnes : Ohhhh, Felix darling, some of her fans still don't think she goes to the bathroom!

• Felix Farmer : Can she work?

  Dr. Irving Finegarten : Is Batman a transvestite? Who knows? I was specifically requested to alleviate her anxiety. Work was never mentioned.

  Felix Farmer : Irving, she's got a very big scene to do!

  Sally Miles : [laughing]  I'm going to show my boobies. What do you think, Irving, you've seen my boobies. Hmm, are they worth showing?

  Dr. Irving Finegarten : Well, since I can only render an evaluation based on a completely impersonal, purely professional examination of the subject, uh, subjects, I would have to say that in my humble opinion you've got a terrific pair of knockers.

• Tim Culley : Felix, as far as you know, have I ever lied to you?

  Felix Farmer : Never.

  Tim Culley : Well, I have, once or twice. About nothing that was too important. But now the fact that I have admitted that on occasion I have lied to you should convince you that I'm a fairly honest man. And when it comes to the crunch, I can handle myself with an acceptable degree of integrity. Now, do you agree?

  Felix Farmer : Wholeheartedly.

  Tim Culley : I'm going to give it to you straight, old friend.

  Felix Farmer : You think I'm crazy.

  Tim Culley : Well, that's a little straighter than I intended.

  Felix Farmer : Maybe, Culley, maybe. Hey, I tried to kill myself four times. Hardly rational. $16 Million-plus for a flop, every cent I have in the world - Not what most people would consider a very sane act. But, insane, Culley? What if I'm right? If my vision is valid, Culley, not so crazy, a more acceptable insanity. Culley, that's all beside the point. Sane and miserable or insane and bursting with greater joy and happiness. THAT'S the point, Culley. And in the final analysis, who says "He's sane therefore he should" or "He's insane, therefore he shouldn't"? Culley, come on, even if I'm wrong, and I'm not, I'm full of fire, Culley! I'm a blazing comet!

  Tim Culley : Comets burn out, pal.

  Felix Farmer : But, Ah, my foes, and Oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light.

• Felix Farmer : Sally Miles swears!

• Felix Farmer : [pitching to his studio execs the far-out erotic themed movie revision of his flop movie, "Night Wind"]  But we blew it, we didn't grab 'em. Why? Do you know why? I'll tell you why. Because dying fathers and lying mothers are a dime a dozen these days! Home and family have become civilization's antiques - along with the flag, Sunday school, Girl Scout cookies, C.B. DeMille, and virginity. We gave them virtue, they want *vice*! We sold them schmaltz, they prefer sadomasochism! Instead of the American Dream, it should have been the American *wet dream*!

• Felix Farmer : Sally Miles says "shit"!

• Felix Farmer : We're in business. All right. Writers, writers. Who wrote "Last Tango"?

  Tim Culley : Beats me.

  Felix Farmer : My God, Culley, neither one of us knows who wrote "Last Tango."

  Tim Culley : I hated it. I can never remember the names of people that perpetrate something i hate.

  Felix Farmer : But that's the trouble, don't you see? I hated it, too!

  Tim Culley : In my opinion, a discretionary judgment.

  Felix Farmer : But we're wrong, Culley. That's what they want. That's where it's at!

  Tim Culley : It's been my experience that every time I think I know where "it's at," it's usually somewhere else.

• Felix Farmer : If you want to dramatize the evils of prostitution, corrupt a virgin, not a whore!

• Felix Farmer : Gino, new choreography. The animals are out. Somehow, i don't think bestiality makes it musically.

• [storms in, Felix gets into ninja mode] 

  Felix Farmer : I must warn you - my hands are lethal weapons.

  Sally Miles : Oh, so's your goddamn fountain pen!

  Tim Culley : I'd better be going...

  Sally Miles : You stay wherever you are, Culley! You're a witness! You lunatic! You maniac! $16 million? Felix, half of that money is mine!

  Felix Farmer : That entitles you to 50% of the profits!

  Sally Miles : That entitles me to have you arrested for grand theft, larceny, fraud, embezzlement, you thieving, filthy son of a bitch!

  Felix Farmer : Sally Miles SWEARS!

  Sally Miles : Give me my money or I... WILL... KILL YOU!

  Felix Farmer : Sally Miles KILLS!

  Sally Miles : [She throws her Oscar at Felix and smashes a window]  OHHH SHIT!

  Felix Farmer : Sally Miles says SHIT! Whoo-hoo! It's $100 million dollars at the box office! $200 million! HA HA, Peter Pan is Dead! Long live Gillian West, nymphomaniac executive!

  [chortling] 

  Felix Farmer : Not since Edison, not since Griffith, not since Jolson! We'll make motion-picture history! Ah! A cinematic monument to man's immorality, a celluloid prophecy of the holocaust to come. For if God spared, not the angels that sinned. But cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness. To reserve them for judgment, and spared not the old world. But saved Noah, the eighth person, a preacher of righteousness, bringing the flood upon the world of the ungodly.

  [Ben, who stands above Felix from the hole in his bedroom floor, vomits onto him below] 

  Sally Miles : Aah! Oh, god!

• Felix Farmer : Whoo-Hoo! I got it! Whoo-Hoo! Sex, Culley! That's the answer! We'll give them a $40 million pornographic love epic! Whoo-Hoo!

• Felix Farmer : We'll reshoot. We'll make Gillian West, frigid businesswoman, Gillian West, nymphomaniac executive. Packard Dehibbert, rugged male chauvinist, is really a transvestite!

  David Blackman : Felix.

  Felix Farmer : The dream sequence will become erotic orgies!

  David Blackman : Felix.

  Felix Farmer : It is perfect! It is a 20th-Century Sodom and Gomorrah, And in the end, God turns Gillian into saltpeter!

  David Blackman : Felix, for god's sake...

  Felix Farmer : Think of it, David. Like the phoenix rising from the ashes, "Night Wind" will become the greatest moneymaking film In motion picture history. Today, a $30 million flop. Tomorrow, a $40 million Box-Office Champion!

• Sally Miles : My public will see! My children will see!

  Felix Farmer : It will be R-rated. They won't even let them in!

  Sally Miles : But they'll know! Don't you care if they know? God, Felix, they're your children, too.

  Felix Farmer : Sophia Loren has children. I hear she's a wonderful mother. She would never do anything to hurt her children, And God knows the public has seen her...

  Sally Miles : Oh, I know!

  Felix Farmer : Ben? Culley?

  Tim Culley : Glenda Jackson.

  Felix Farmer : Glenda Jackson! A fantastic mother.

  Ben Coogan : Venessa. Vanessa Redgrave.

  Felix Farmer : You'll never find a better mother. Somebody who's not English.

  Tim Culley : Jane Fonda.

  Felix Farmer : Jane Fonda!

  Tim Culley : Shirley MacLaine.

  Felix Farmer : Shirley MacLaine!

  Ben Coogan : Liv Ullmann! Liv Ullmann!

  Felix Farmer : Liv Ullmann?

  Ben Coogan : I think so.

  Felix Farmer : [respectfully]  Liv - Ullmann.

• Felix Farmer : I broke you and I can make you. It's *rotten*, but it's a revelation. We fail that we may succeed!

• Felix Farmer : Agnes, remember your first Academy Award, "Garbo Talks"?

  Agnes : Yes, she talked, but she went to the bathroom, too.

• Felix Farmer : You know as well as I do, that if we're gonna stay in business, if we are to remain filmmakers in any sense of the word, we must shake off the rusty shackles of the past, observe the present for what it is, and the future for what it will become. Like it or not.

• Felix Farmer : Now, we keep the basic set. It's still a dream, But now a freudian nightmare of erotic symbolism. Seduced in a nursery, but not voluntarily, Not the victim of her own insatiable lust, As she always feared, but the victim Of a powerful aphrodisiac slipped in her bosco.

• Felix Farmer : Peter Pan is dead! Long live Gillian West, nymphomaniac executive! Ha ha ha ha! Not since Edison, not since Griffith, Not since Jolson! We'll make motion picture history! Ah! A cinematic monument to man's immorality. A celluloid prophecy of the holocaust to come!

• Felix Farmer : They stole my film! They stole! You Philistines!