The Greatest American Hero (1981–1983)
Robert Culp: Bill Maxwell
Photos
Quotes
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Ralph Hinkley : Bill, are you OK? What's wrong with your knees?
Bill Maxwell : Fear. Or... I'm drunk.
Ralph Hinkley : No, you're not drunk.
Bill Maxwell : Then I'm alive!
[laughs nervously]
Bill Maxwell : Thank you, Ralph. Thanks very much!
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Bill Maxwell : They give... and office like THIS to a kid... a GIRL? Come on now, counselor. I wasn't born yesterday.
Pam Davidson : No, it was more like 1880, wasn't it, Bill?
Bill Maxwell : That's very funny.
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Pam Davidson : I am disgusted with the both of you.
Ralph Hinkley : Why?
Bill Maxwell : About what?
Pam Davidson : I don't know yet.
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Bill Maxwell : You get to be vice principal. Counselor... she's a junior partner. Yours truly, Dumbo Maxwell's chuggin' across the finish line... folks up in the gallery yellin' down "Go, geezer! Go!"
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Bill Maxwell : OK, let's not panic.
Pam Davidson : I feel like panicking. I can panic if I want to panic.
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Bill Maxwell : C'mon... You'll do it for Bill. Old Uncle Bill. Old Uncle Wild Bill. Who loves ya, baby? Eh?
Pam Davidson : You're over-doing it "Uncle Bill"
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[about a woman who said she saw a sea monster]
Bill Maxwell : She probably thought she saw what she said she thought she saw.
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Bill Maxwell : You're about as religious as a Las Vegas nightclub owner.
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Bill Maxwell : Freeze! F.B.I.! You're busted, fella!
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Bill Maxwell : This stinks. I hate this.
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Bill Maxwell : She may be your girlfriend but she's my counselor and nobody messes with her. That's it.
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Bill Maxwell : And so we went to NewFOUNDland to make friends with all the whales and a bunch of little fishies
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Ralph Hinkley : Bill, I've got an idea
Bill Maxwell : Good, put it to me in a letter, I'll try to get back to you by the end of the month
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Ralph Hinkley : You see what I mean? Like right now for instance. You're not even listening to me. I mean, for all I know, we could be driving into the biggest shootout of this century
Bill Maxwell : [not listening] Yeah, kid. I'll work on that for ya
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Bill Maxwell : Oh no Ralph, Not again... SPLAT! giggle
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Bill Maxwell : Come on, Ralph.