The Gods Must Be Crazy (1980)

Michael Thys: Mpudi

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mpudi : [Riding in the LandRover]  So how did this thing get up the tree?

  Steyn : She was stuck in a watape tree, and I... do you know she has flowers on her panties?

  Mpudi : So that's how this thing got up the tree.

• Mpudi : [looking at Steyn in a suit]  And why are you so beautiful?

  Steyn : I'm going to the school to give her these.

  Mpudi : You gonna look like that?

  Steyn : Like what?

  Mpudi : Like it's a funeral. You've gotta smile, man, and tell her she looks good.

  Steyn : How come suddenly you're an expert on women?

  Mpudi : I got seven wives. How many you got?

  Steyn : So why aren't you at home with your seven wives?

  Mpudi : I know how to marry them. Nobody knows how to live with them.

  Steyn : So, what did you marry them for?

  Mpudi : Someday I have to tell you the facts of life...

• Mpudi : I'm teaching him how to drive, just for the hell of it. There's nothing else to do around here.

• [Xi has been thrown in jail] 

  Mpudi : They gave him the death sentence.

  Steyn : For shooting a GOAT?

  Mpudi : No. Three months in jail. Same thing, he gonna die for sure. He never seen a wall in his life, now he got walls all round him.

• [Xi bids Steyn and Mpudi farewell] 

  Mpudi : He says thank you, and goodbye, and hopes you have lots of children.

  Steyn : Tell him thanks, and to take this...

  [holds out a wad of money] 

  Mpudi : He can't use that stuff.

  Steyn : But I have to...

  Mpudi : Bushmen don't know about money.

  Steyn : [looking around]  Well, what else can I give him...?

  Mpudi : There's nothing here he can use. Bushmen don't need these things.

  Steyn : But he's got to take the money, it's the law!

  [Steyn gives Xi the money, who bids them farewell and leaves. Later on, he throws the money away] 

• [Xi looks through a telescope and chatters] 

  Mpudi : [chuckles]  He wants to know, how did all those people get in there?

  Steyn : No. no, they're not... they're not in there. They're...

  [smiles a little] 

  Steyn : [to Mpudi]  You explain.

• [after seeing the truck in the tree] 

  Mpudi : What the hell did you do that for?

• Mpudi : You gonna look like that forever?

  Steyn : Like what?

  Mpudi : Like Jack Hind is a better man than you!

  Steyn : No. I'm going to talk to her.

  Mpudi : Yeah! Tell her YOU were the big hero!

  Steyn : [Paces back and forth, not noticing he's continually hitting his head on the lantern]  No, I can't do that. But I do want to talk to her. I'll tell her, I'll say "Look, Miss Thompson. I know you think I'm an idiot, but normally I'm quite normal. It's only when I'm in the presence of a lady that I... It's really just an interesting psychological phenomenon. If a man who is susceptible to a type of para-Freudian syndrome like this encounters a nubile female, what happens?"

  Mpudi : I suppose another big word happens.

  Steyn : Too erudite?

  Mpudi : Yeah, whatever that means.

  Steyn : Okay. I'll put it more simply. I'll say, "Look, Miss Thompson... Kate, Kate... It's really only an interesting psychological phenomenon." She'll understand that bit, she's a schoolteacher. I'll say, "When there's no lady present, I can catch an insect without hurting it." If she knew me better, she'd see I'm not a stumblebum. All I need is a little practice. If I...

  [gets in the Land Rover while talking] 

  Mpudi : Wait for me! You need some moral support!

• Mpudi : Way back, when Botswana belonged to the British, I hit a policeman because he insulted my father. So, I fled. I went into the Kalahari. I died, you know. Dehydration. And some of those little buggers found me and they buried me, only my held stuck out. For about two weeks they kept pushing water and food in my mouth. And when they dug me up, I was nearly white, like you. Yeech. I lived with them for three years. They're the sweetest little buggers.

• Mpudi : He talks about an evil thing.

• [Steyn and Mpudi have finished defeating the bandits and saving Kate. Kate only sees Jack Hind, who has shown up at the last moment , picked up a gun, and taken charge] 

  Mpudi : How come suddenly HE's the big hero?