10 (1979)

Julie Andrews: Samantha Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Samantha Taylor : [examining George's bee sting]  That looks bad, have you taken anything for it?

  George Webber : Ah, yes, I took four of your birth control pills, I hope that's okay.

  Samantha Taylor : [kisses George on the cheek]  Try an antihistimine.

  George Webber : I don't like those, they make me pregnant.

• George Webber : That sonofabitch across the way's got a bigger telescope than we have.

  Samantha Taylor : Not we have. *You* have. I don't need to peep into somebody else's windows to get my jollies. You're a dirty old man, George, and so is your friend.

  George Webber : He's not my friend.

  Samantha Taylor : Well, he should be. You must know him intimately by now.

  George Webber : I don't watch him. I watch his broads. He's got a helluva stable over there.

  Samantha Taylor : Then he must be pretty good in the sack, huh?

  George Webber : What's that got to do with it?

  Samantha Taylor : Well, unless he's using some new remote control screwing device, how can you keep from watching him too?

  George Webber : I concentrate on the broads.

  Samantha Taylor : Well, he's around, isn't he?

• Samantha Taylor : I've been getting *strange* vibrations.

• George Webber : What are you getting so head up for?

  Samantha Taylor : You got the time or you want to wait until after the Late Show?

  [George turns off the TV] 

  Samantha Taylor : First, I'm getting a little fed up at sexually emancipated ladies being referred to as broads. Second, I think a telescope aimed at anything other than the stars is an invasion of privacy and qualifies the voyeur as a Peeping Tom - and there's a very good law against that. Third, the first two really wouldn't bother me a bit if you'd stop watching so God *damn* much television and pay a little more attention to your bedroom guests. *This* guest in particular. Now, you want to argue or you want to make love?

  George Webber : Define broad.

  Samantha Taylor : You're definition or mine?

  George Webber : Mine. I know yours.

  Samantha Taylor : A girl who screws around a lot.

  George Webber : A hooker.

  Samantha Taylor : A hooker's a hooker. The fact that they both spread their legs doesn't make the terminology interchangeable.

  George Webber : What's the difference?

  Samantha Taylor : A hooker sells it.

  George Webber : Yeah, so does a broad! The only difference is a hooker makes the price going in.

  Samantha Taylor : Ah, so by definition, a "broad" is less virtuous than a hooker.

  George Webber : As far as I'm concerned, virtue has got absolutely nothing to do with it.

  Samantha Taylor : As far as your concerned, or any man for that matter, virtue has *everything* to do with it.

  George Webber : Listen, I just said "broad". You chose to apply a disparaging connotation to the term.

  Samantha Taylor : Come on, George. Are you really trying to tell me that "broad" is *not* a term used by men to describe women in a disparaging fashion?

  George Webber : I'm just saying *I* didn't use it that way.

  Samantha Taylor : Would you call me a "broad"?

  George Webber : That depends.

  Samantha Taylor : On whether you were watching me through a telescope while I - was fooling around with your degenerate neighbor?

  George Webber : No.

  Samantha Taylor : Okay, you define it.

  George Webber : Well, first and foremost, I don't equate the term *exclusively* with sex, voyeurism or quote "degeneracy". You do that.

  Samantha Taylor : So do you; but, you won't admit it.

  George Webber : "Broad" to me is just another colloquial term for woman. Like dame, skirt...

  Samantha Taylor : Moll.

  George Webber : Crumpet. *Moll*. I'm sure John Dillinger never used that word in a derogatory fashion.

  Samantha Taylor : For authority on female agrandisment, consult the FBI's 10 Most Wanted List.

  George Webber : Better still, let's look it up.

  Samantha Taylor : No. I want *your* definition. Not Webster's.

  George Webber : I'm going to get Monsieur Roget's definition. You know my definition. "Broad" means woman. Not good. Not bad. Unless so designated.

  Samantha Taylor : *You* said a broad does it for money.

  George Webber : *You* said a hooker sells it. I said so does a broad.

  Samantha Taylor : Okay, if a broad is a woman, then women screw for money, huh?

  George Webber : *Some* women.

  Samantha Taylor : Broads!

  George Webber : Some - broads do it for other things. But, in a way, they sell it.

  [looking in Roget's Thesaurus] 

  George Webber : Alright, here we are. "Woman: dame, hen, petticoat."

  Samantha Taylor : "Slang or derogatory: Jane, *broad*!" Okay, how about that smart ass? You want to look up derogatory?

• George Webber : I thought we were going to make love?

  Samantha Taylor : [walking out]  That will cost you 50 bucks and an apology.

  Ed McMahon : [on TV]  Heeeeeeeeere's Johnny!

• George Webber : Some of my oldest and dearest friends are *broads*.

  Samantha Taylor : Including your mother.

  George Webber : Yeah, you bet!

  Samantha Taylor : [singing]  I want a broad, just like a broad...

  George Webber : And my maternal grandmother was one of the greatest *broads* that ever lived. They don't make *broads* like that anymore.

• Hugh : "Lest ye judge too harshly," remember.

  Samantha Taylor : Nobody's perfect.

  Hugh : Thank God.

  Samantha Taylor : Well, anyway, I'd still like to punch him right in the mouth.

• Samantha Taylor : We've practically nothing in common. We're the original odd couple. On top of everything else when he *really* gets me going, I can't even ask him to step outside because he's too small.

• Hugh : He's just going through male menopause.

  Samantha Taylor : Oh, come on.

  Hugh : Alright, you ladies may have a biological edge; but, most adult males over the age of 40 more than make up for it in the emotional department. Take my word for it.

• Samantha Taylor : [on the phone]  When do you plan on coming back? George?

  George Webber : Darling, I won't stay a minute - a minute longer than I have to. Just a couple of days, a couple of weeks. You know, I should have it all sorted out. I love you too much to put you through all that sort of rubbish. I need - I need the time - to be alone. Okay? Sam? Sam?

  Samantha Taylor : Mmm-hmm.

  George Webber : Say something.

  Samantha Taylor : Piss off, George!

• Samantha Taylor : We spend too much time arguing and not enough making love.

  George Webber : Well, I could - I could work on that. You know, I mean, just reverse that trend. Make a lot of love and maybe just that much arguing.

  Samantha Taylor : Oh, as easy as that?

  George Webber : Easy as that. You've got it.