You Can't Do That on Television (1979–2004)

Kevin Kubusheskie: Kevin Kubusheskie, Gangster, Kevin, Lone Ranger, Mountie, Senior student

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Shidler : Now class, as we are going on a field trip, it's most important we know the basics of nature. Can anyone tell me, what are the four natural elements of the universe?

  [Lisa raises her hand] 

  Mr. Shidler : Lisa?

  Lisa : Earth.

  Mr. Shidler : Right. That's one. Um, Kevin?

  Kevin : Uh, air.

  Mr. Shidler : That's right. That's two. Uh, Christine?

  Christine : Um, fire!

  Mr. Shidler : Right. And now, Vanessa. Can you tell me what the fourth element is?

  Vanessa : Yeah, but I'm not going to.

  Mr. Shidler : Well, Vanessa, either you tell me what the fourth element is, or you tell me you don't know.

  Vanessa : Well, either way, I get something dumped on me.

  [Gives in] 

  Vanessa : Okay, water.

  [And you know the rest] 

  Mr. Shidler : Oh, it's moments like these that make teaching worthwhile.

• Kevin : You know, Barth runs a pretty clean place here.

  Alasdair : Clean? You call this place clean? Why even the rats wouldn't be caught dead in here!

  Christine : Yeah, and even if they did they'd end up in the burger mix anyway.

• Dungeon Guard : All right Kubusheskie tell me... How long are you going to keep me chained up in here?

  Kevin : 10 years or maybe 20. Who knows?

• Kevin : I'll be glad when we finally get the dishwasher fixed.

• Kevin : Hey Christine. Wutta you doing?

  Christine : Kevin? Have you been listening to yourself?

  Kevin : No.

  Christine : Well you should.

  Kevin : It's surfer talk.

  Christine : You're not a surfer. You should learn to use good grammar.

  Kevin : Wutta am I going to do.

  [Kevin groans as a bucket of water is dumped on his head!] 

  Kevin : Oh come on! I said "what are?"? Not water.

  [Kevin groans again] 

  Christine : See how important it is to use good grammar? I used wuttar but now I say what are instead of wuttar.

  [Christine gets a bucket of water dumped on her head] 

  Kevin : Wonderful isn't it?

  Christine : Who made this up? We both got it.