Goin' Coconuts (1978) Poster

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3/10
"Cute, Marie...cute"
moonspinner556 January 2002
Jewel thieves in Hawaii are after necklace worn by visiting pop star. Imagine being outsmarted by Donny & Marie Osmond! Blandly cute semi-musical may spark fond memories for fans of the duo's TV variety show, but is otherwise an unpolished comedy of embarrassments. Aloha! *1/2 from ****
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4/10
Bland and Profoundly Mediocre
shaggycub3 August 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Wow, I can recall this movie when it came out, but never did get a chance to see it. Now I have and it is nothing to write home about. It's not a bad movie, just kinda bland and some moments very incongruous. To me, it looks like a TV movie of the week. The cinematography is adequate, the script inconsequential. The best part of it is the full roster of character actors (including the fabulous Kenneth Mars, Ted Cassidy from "The Addams Family" as well as two, count 'em two former Bond villain henchmen.) chowing down on the scenery like it was their last meal. The leads are cute and all, but as actors they only vaguely adequate at playing themselves. It's a testament to their bubbly personalities that they shine, despite the weaker than weak script. How weak is it? In one scene, when Donny is pointing out to Marie someone who might have been one of the criminals chasing them in an earlier scene, she says she can't see them because she's not wearing her glasses? HUH?? She can't need glasses too much, because she wasn't wearing them for the whole movie. Heck, she manages to ride her motorcycle while being chased by baddies without wearing glasses. Also, not sure why they had her on a motorcycle, that was a little odd. Mostly, this is an excuse to have them singing and dancing on stage. Perfectly fine, no harm, no foul.

I have no ax to grind, I was a huge fan of them back in the day, but this film has not aged at all well. I'd say it's family fare, but I doubt any children are really going to care about this movie. I'd say this is only for nostalgic adults, and even then I can't really recommend it. I don't regret having seen it, but I don't have any desire to see it again.
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3/10
Donny and Marie try their hands at a musical comic-capter and fail miserably.
IonicBreezeMachine4 March 2021
Donny and Marie Osmond (playing themselves) and their tightly wound manager Sid (Herb Edelman ) are off to Hawaii for a concert, but when a stolen Jewel winds up in Marie's possession hi-jinks ensue.

Produced during the annual hiatus for Donny & Marie's variety and financed and distributed by The Osmonds, Goin' Coconuts was supposed be a test of of Donny and Marie Osmond's celebrity status by seeing if they could open and carry a feature film. A critical and commercial dud upon release, the movie has been mostly forgotten, and rightly so because it's a pathetic excuse for a movie that is ineptly directed and acted.

Despite allegedly being the focal point of the movie, Donny & Marie are often relegated to the background while we focus on an assorted of TV character actors engaging in pratfalls, double takes, or other limply played comic gags that don't raise so much as a snicker let alone a laugh. The movie is directed by veteran sitcom director Howard Morris and can't maintain comic momentum or edit scenes to give the gags any life or punch. None of the scenes involving the crooks are funny, but they are at least slightly more engaging than the Osmonds themselves. Donny and Marie have no stage presence when it comes to acting, they basically have one mode in this movie and it's wide eyed smiling niceness, while that can sometimes be used for comic effect here it isn't because more often than not Donny and Marie are blissfully unaware of most of the farcical scenes surrounding them so there's no comic friction played off their unnaturally smiley demeanor. The movie is rated PG for reasons I can't discern as I've seen G Rated Disney comedies from around the same time like No Deposit, No Return or Snowball Express that felt way edgier than this.

Goin' Coconuts is a failure. It's a failure to extend the Osmonds repertoire to feature films, it's a failure as comedy, it's even a failure as a travelogue to Hawaii because the movie has a very flat look to it that doesn't capture the state's natural beauty and is instead focuses on limp wristed attempts at comic caper cliches that are ineptly done with no drive or impact. It's just a waste of everyone's time for all concerned.
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1/10
What Happened here?
curtis-821 March 2021
I saw this movie when I was a kid and just watched it again for nostalgia's sake. My reaction on both occasions was to think "What happened here?" They couldn't have come up with a lazier, lamer vehicle for these kids if they'd tried. I mean, it was a theatrical feature film featuring a talented duo with a hit tv show ant hit records. And it's like they put almost no money--or, more importantly, zero effort--into the movie. It's not even as good as a TV movie from back in the day--the two part Brady Bunch Hawaiian episode was better quality. Howard Morris has directed good films before this, but Coconuts seems to have not been directed at all. SO many endless long shots, bad sound--like they just set up a camera in one spot and told the actors to do the best they could with no retakes. Kenneth Mars tries desperately to be funny--SO desperately. Donny and Marie are pleasant and natural, but they're so relaxed they seem to think that they're just doing a rehearsal. There's a happy, "Yeah, whatever...when's lunch?" attitude which could have been funny if played up on purpose. But I think they really just had no idea what was going on. This doesn't seem like it was directed by someone who doesn't know how to direct a movie, but by someone who has never even SEEN a movie before. The cheezy disney movies of the day like Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo put this film to shame. How could so many talented people produce something so LAME?

Ps-- I recently read that Donny and Marie passed up on roles in Grease in order to do this movie--Marie would have been Sandy and Donny cameoed as an angel. They supposedly chose this project because it was more "family friendly," which is kind of strange seeing as how it has murders and racial "humor."
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2/10
Sad when cocoanut milk goes rancid
mark.waltz2 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Don't be surprised if you sit watching this absolute stone-faced throughout, especially when Donny and Marie are harping at each other like they did on their successful TV variety show. What was cute in small doses on TV becomes extremely cumbersome here, aided by a ridiculous story over a necklace that Marie is given by a priest as a gift while waiting for their flight to Hawaii. Talk about a writer needing a good Hawaiian Punch.

Veteran character actor Herb Edelman, best known to modern audiences as the Arthur's ex-husband Stan on "Golden Girls", is pushy and obnoxious as Donny and Marie's agent, completely unfunny, more the fault of the writers then the actor. Same goes for funny people like Kenneth Mars, Ted Cassidy and Marc Lawrence, getting a few giggles more based on looks that they give than the lines that they're handed through the script.

Cheaply made and rushed out simply because of the success of the TV series after its first two seasons, this did a disservice to the Osmond siblings, with poor Marie having a very unflattering hairstyle and Donnie being the victim of too many jokes about his toothy smile. This doesn't even come to life when they sing, and sadly lacks elements that would have made this a camp classic. They may not have been the village people, but this nearly did stop the music.
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1/10
Worst Movie Ever Made!
lxg2k23 December 2003
I saw this movie when it came out in the theaters and I was a fan of the Donnie & Marie Show...However, even though I was only 15 when I saw it, I was shocked and disappointed at how bad this film was. It was so bad, I was embarrassed for them and I walked out of the movie half way through.
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I loved the soundtrack album
jjavieraponteparsi6 November 2009
I never saw this movie, didn't know it was a movie when I bought the album back in 1978. I loved the soundtrack album, I wish they would reissue it in CD. I have a Greatest Hits album that includes On the shelf, but I also liked the other songs, specially Falling In Love (it was great), the instrumental version of May Tomorrow Be a Perfect Day, and that cover they did that went like this "Baby, now that I found you I can't let you go, I built my world around you, I need you so, baby even though you don't need me..." One day I had that song playing and my older brother said "Wow, that's a very old song!". He remembered the original; for me it was new. Later I heard the original (I don't remember the title of the tune), but I still prefer Donny & Marie's version.I really enjoyed (and still do) their music and their TV show when I was a teenager. God bless them both!
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4/10
Donny & Marie Go to Hawaii
Uriah4319 April 2024
This film essentially begins with both Donny Osmond and his sister Marie Osmond boarding a plane to Hawaii where they have a few performances booked for them. Just prior to their flight, a priest gives Marie a necklace he says the children at a local orphanage would want her to have. Although it is obviously not worth that much, Marie accepts the gift only because of the sentiment behind it. What she doesn't realize is that the priest who gave it to him is actually a thief named "Charlie" (Jack Collins) and it holds a secret which other sinister groups also desire. Not only that, but once they find out that Marie now has the necklace, they immediately set their sights on both Donny and Marie--and they are willing to commit murder to have what they want. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that I remember watching this movie when it first came out and it didn't leave much of an impression on me at that time. Having now seen it again over 40 years later, my initial impression remains the same as this clearly isn't a first-rate film by any stretch of the imagination. It does, however, have a couple of cute scenes here and there with one particular song-and-dance performance by Donny and Marie in a native Hawaiian setting that I found to be rather entertaining. That being said, while this certainly isn't a great comedy by any means, I don't consider it to be that bad necessarily, and I have rated it accordingly. Slightly below average.
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7/10
Fallin' in Love Again!
carakay26 December 2003
Alright...so it's a 70's nightmare by some standards, but it's Donnie and Marie! You gotta love it lookin' at it from a 21st century standpoint. This is the goofy stuff Austin Powers was built on! And to think that they got away with this brand of humor on G-rated material! Also take note of the very clever and difficult task of using 5 bumbling villains instead of the standard one or two. Again, Austin Powers owes a lot to the precedents set by a flick like this and I for one am fallin' in love again!
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10/10
One of the greatest movies from the 70's
Woodyanders30 November 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I recently had the pleasure of viewing this spectacular movie milestone and I just gotta say, "WOW!!!" Music superstars Donny and Marie Osmond are brilliant, mesmerizing and totally convincing as themselves. Herb Edelman lends outstanding support with his astonishing portrayal of their whiny worrywart manager. Ted Cassidy (Lurch on "The Adams Family"), Harold Sakata (Oddjob in "Goldfinger"), Kenneth Mars, and veteran acne-scarred meanie Marc Lawrence are all magnificent as a bunch of no-good villains who want to get their grubby hands on Marie's necklace. Gorgeous blonde hottie supreme Crystin Sinclaire (Mel Ferror's daughter in "Eaten Alive") offers delectable eye candy as a lovely young lass who catches Donny's lascivious eye. The masterful direction by Howard Morris deftly creates a considerable amount of joy, tension and excitement; the taut narrative never meanders or makes a single false step and the lightning fast pace ensures that the picture practically explodes across the screen throughout. The fiercely intelligent and incisive script by William Mark Daniels and Raymond Harvey offers plentiful profound and provocative insights on such crucial components of the human condition as greed, lust and the need for fun and leisure. The eloquent dialogue is remarkable ("That Charlie; if he wasn't dead already I'd kill him"). The exquisite cinematography by Frank Phillips contains some of the most beautiful imagery ever captured on film; the island of Hawaii is sharply depicted in all its sweetly lush tropical serenity. Best of all, the bouncy, happy score by Nelson Riddle and the delightfully dynamic song-and-dance numbers by Donny and Marie both take you straight to groovy 70's boogie wonderland. A cinematic landmark of monumental cultural importance.
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7/10
great fun
cgflames1 January 2005
I first saw this movie when I was a young teenager. I recently bought it online in VHS format. I loved this movie when I was a kid, even though I know it was no Oscar contender. I was and am a big Osmond fan.

This is a GREAT family movie. Not too scary for the little ones, enough suspense for the older kids. Mom and dad can enjoy this movie for exactly what it is, more Donny and Marie than you could get in the wonderful one hour weekly TV show in one sitting.

The music is really good, and the Osmonds prove yet again that even if you don't like them, they have fantastic musical abilities. The songs themselves are good and directly relate to the story. The acting isn't bad either. You even get a short preview of Donnys beautiful real life wife at the end of the movie.
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10/10
I really liked it!!!
mandz_jane13 October 2005
OK so I might be a tad biased in saying that I really liked this film as I am a huge Osmond fan!! But it was really funny. I enjoyed seeing Donny and Marie interact they have such amazing chemistry working as a brother and sister team. Being only 19 a lot of people think it is odd that someone my age likes The Osmonds, but The Osmonds are so incredibly talented and I really admire them, they are awesome!! Donny and Marie have amazing voices, if only all the famous singers these days could sing half as good as The Osmonds. I loved every song they sang in the movie. If anyone happens to read this checkout Donny's cd called "What I Mean't To Say", it just shows what a wonderful singer he truly is.
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10/10
One of my favorites
browneyedcarol200424 October 2006
So the movie was a little hokey... I know "I" really enjoyed it. Right up there with GREASE with Olivia Newton John and John Travolta! Seriously! Anything Donny and Marie did back then was something to talk about. I wish they could have continued on with the Donny and Marie talk Show that was out a couple years ago. That was one of the high lights of my day. Good Clean Humor.

Going Coconuts I remember, introduced his wife for the first time. I thought that was pretty clever. I'm thinking they could have included more of her really. The song "Falling in Love" was great. That happened to be on one of their albums. I remember playing it until the needle broke...
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8/10
Awesome comedy
stevem-imdb25 June 2009
When I was 7 and 8, I was a HUGE fan of the Donnie and Marie show. After their movie came out and went to Home Box Office, I saw it every chance I got. I'm sure I saw it at least 5 times. It's amazing the things that will entertain an 8 year old. I had never seen Donnie in a suspenseful role so I was impressed with his talent to combine suspense and comedy. I was hoping for a sequel or a series of movies to come from Donnie and Marie but that didn't happen. Then I turned 10 and Donnie and Marie didn't seem that great anymore. My tastes went to teenage comedies like 'Fast Times' and 'Porkies'. Donnie and Marie was for the pre-pre-teen audience.
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10/10
Wonderful great fro all the family
vampyerslayer7317 November 2007
I remember this movie from when I was only 5 years old. I went to it in California and got to met Donnie and Marrie. I have seen it only 2 times and wish I could find it again. I am glad I found info here. Everyone should see this cute, funny, family movie. This movie is a timeless classic. I hope my son will get to see it himself. Donnie and Marrie did a great Job and OH so cute. I cant believe that not many people have even heard about this movie. I have been looking online forever for a copy of it. If you have not seen this movie you must watch it if you can find a copy. I think Donnei and Marrie should have done more movies besides this one. They always will remain great and such wonderful performers.
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8/10
Fun movie for its time
tlyoung889 January 2021
True, this film bombed at the box office. I'm living in Hawaii now, and I'm sure no one under 40 even remembers it.

That being said, to be able to see Honolulu back in the day is priceless; that shot of the Oceana Floating Chinese Restaurant was awesome.

As for the film. It's entertaining, pretty standard plot though a bit uneven because Khigh Diegh simply steals the show as the villain, leaving the peformances of such greats as Ken Mars and Ted fricking' Cassidy and Howard "Oddjob" Sakata in the dust. They just never gelled together because the tone was so uneven with these villains.

And then there's poor Donny, who's used to being portrayed as an idiot on his show, now has to be the big jerk of an older brother. This was a bad choice, but it did make Marie's character that much more likable.

And then there's the music. Bland, lifeless and a great disservice to the duo that brought us Puppy Love and Paper Roses. That "little bit county" and "little bit rocknroll" was nowhere to be found here. If only they let the Osmonds do what they do best and just make music.
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