Smokey and the Bandit (1977)
Burt Reynolds: Bandit
Photos
Quotes
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Bandit : For the good old American life: For the money, for the glory, and for the fun... mostly for the money.
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Bandit : Oh, I love your suits. It must have been a bitch to get a 68 Extra Fat and a 12 Dwarf.
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Bandit : New car. Gotta have a new car to block for the truck.
[watches as Little Enos begins counting out money]
Bandit : Speedy car.
[watches as Little Enos counts out more money]
Bandit : Speedier than that.
Little Enos : [mumbling] I'd like to kick his ass just once.
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Bandit : [walks up the steps to Cledus' house, where his wife, whose hair is in huge curlers, is standing in the doorway] Well, well, well, hello, Beautiful.
[she stares at him with a stern look on her face]
Bandit : How about 'Gorgeous?'
Waynette Snow : You can't have him.
Bandit : Well, obviously, *you* can.
[indicates the gaggle of kids]
Bandit : What are you tryin' to do, start another race?
[pushes past her and into the house]
Waynette Snow : Look, you got Cledus in jail once! Leave us alone!
One of the Snow kids : [climbs on Bandit's back] Hi, Uncle Bandit!
Waynette Snow : He ain't your damned uncle!
[steps on the dog, who whimpers]
Waynette Snow : One of you damned kids get this dog out of here!
[Bandit keeps walking toward the bedroom, where Cledus is sleeping]
Waynette Snow : Dammit, Bandit, *look at me!*
Bandit : [stops and turns wearily] I find it hard to look at you, Waynette, very hard. Especially when you've got those things in your hair. Makes me think you're listening to a radio station in Savannah.
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[Communicating through the C.B. radio]
Bandit : Sheriff, uh, Buford T. Justice, please.
Buford T. Justice : Who there?
Bandit : This is Bandit Darville talkin'.
Buford T. Justice : Where are you, you sumbitch?
Bandit : Before I tell you where I am, Sheriff, there's just one thing I wanna say. You must be part coon-dog, 'cause I've been chased by the best of them, and son, you make 'em look like they're all runnin' in slow motion. I just wanna say that.
Buford T. Justice : Well, thank you, Mr. Bandit. And as the pursuer, may I say you're the goddamnedest pursuee I've ever pursued. Now that the mutual bullshit is over, WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SUMBITCH?
Bandit : Well, I'm right down at the bottom of the hill, Sheriff. I'm about 6-foot-8, in a cowboy outfit, got a little pygmy standing right beside me dressed just like me. You can't miss me. 10-4.
[Buford looks down the hill]
Bandit : You know what? Scratch that. I can't lie to you, Sheriff. You're too good a man. Look over your left shoulder.
[Buford turns, and sees the Bandit]
Bandit : We're on our way to Boston to pick up some clam chowder. Bye-bye!
Carrie : No hard feelings, Junior!
[the Bandit drives off, but Buford follows on his wreck of a car]
Buford T. Justice : I'm not givin' up! I'm not givin' up! I'm never gonna give up! I'm never gonna give up! I'll get you, you sumbitch!
Junior : [running after the car] Daddy, wait for me! Don't leave me! Who's gonna hold your hat?
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Buford T. Justice : Breaker, breaker for the Bandit.
Bandit : Come on back, breaker.
Buford T. Justice : Bandit, I got a smokey report for you. Come on!
Bandit : Well, talk to me, good buddy.
Buford T. Justice : You got trouble comin'...
Bandit : Well what's your handle, son, and what's your 20?
Buford T. Justice : My handle's Smokey Bear and I'm tail-grabbin yo' ass right now!
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Bandit : Cledus, get the money.
Cledus Snow : Yeah, how 'bout the money?
Little Enos : How 'bout double or nothin'?
Cledus Snow : How 'bout forgettin' it?
Bandit : Wait a minute. What about double or nothin'?
Little Enos : You run up to Boston, and bring back some clam chowder for me and my daddy.
Carrie : You're on.
Bandit : Uh, you're on.
Big Enos : In 18 hours?
Bandit : You're still on.
Cledus Snow : WHAT? You're *crazy*! And I'm *divorced*!
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Cledus Snow : [over CB about Carrie's dress] Hey, is she wearing a
[pause]
Cledus Snow : *wedding dress*?
Bandit : [Carrie throws dress out of the car since she has changed into jeans and a shirt] She was.
Cledus Snow : What's she wearing now? Come back. Hey, you got peanut butter or somethin' in your ears? Tell me what that girl's got on. Her mind!
[laughs earthily]
Cledus Snow : 10-4.
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Cledus Snow : You can't drive a forklift.
Bandit : I can drive any forkin' thing around.
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Bandit : [Bandit and Frog walking through the wooded area] When you tell somebody somethin', it depends on what part of the country you're standin' in... as to just how dumb you are.
Carrie : Mr Bandit, you have a lyrical way of cutting through the bullshit.
Bandit : And you have a unique way with the English language, Miss Frog.
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Little Enos : I think you're just a little bit scared.
Bandit : That's real good psychology. Why don't you say something bad about my mother?
Little Enos : Your momma is so ugly...
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Cledus Snow : [whistles]
[hears a police motorcycle siren]
Cledus Snow : Oh, no! Hey, Bandit, Hey, Bandit, listen to this!
Cledus Snow : [siren blares out of Bandit's CB] You know who that is? That be the Evel Knievel. He snuck in my back door when I wasn't lookin'. You better flip-flop back here and gimme a hand, son, or we gonna be in a heap of trouble. Please roger that transmission!
Bandit : Hold on to Fred, son! Here comes the cavalry!
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Cledus Snow : Hey, Bandit. Me an' Fred's got a question.
Bandit : What you an' Fred want?
Cledus Snow : How come we doin' this?
Bandit : Well, why not?
Cledus Snow : Well, they said it couldn't be done.
Bandit : Well thats the reason, son!
Cledus Snow : [shrugs] That's good with Fred. We're clear.
Bandit : [laughing] 10-4!
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Carrie : Actually, my heaviest relationship was with an acid-rock singer... named Robert Crumly. We were together, oh, 8 1/2 days. God, I really thought that was it.
Bandit : And?
Carrie : One day, I came home and found him in the shower... with a girl... and her mother!
Bandit : Well, at least he kept it in the family.
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Cledus Snow : Atlanta to Texarkana and back in 28 hours? That ain't never been done before, not in no rig.
Bandit : That's cause *we* ain't never done it in no rig. You got to stop thinkin so negative son, we ain't not never made it yet, have we?
Cledus Snow : Well, no...
Bandit : Well, all right.
[hops up into trailer]
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Cledus Snow : Hey, we really ought to pay somebody for that mess we made.
Bandit : [Hands Cledus notepad and pen] I got that all figured out. Just tell'em to send the bill to Big Enos Burdette.
[Gets in car and drives off]
Cledus Snow : [writing a note] Send bill to Big Enos Burdette; Burdette; B, Ber, B-u-r...
[sees Bandit take off]
Cledus Snow : Hell, I got to go!
[leaves without finishing note]
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Bandit : Sheriff... do the letters F.O. mean anything to you?
Buford T. Justice : [putting C.B down] Sma't Aleck!
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Bandit : Now, gettin' to Texarkana and back in 28 hours, that's no problem.
Little Enos : It ain't never been done before, hot shit.
Bandit : Watch your language, little lady.
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Bandit : Snowman, you got your ears on?
Cledus Snow : You lucky devil, you got him! Where the hell are you?
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Bandit : What do you think they do for excitement in this town?
Cledus Snow : Probably sit around and watch the cars rust.
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Bandit : You chasin' somebody, Sheriff? Somebody chasin' you?
Buford T. Justice : Nobody's chasin' me, boy!
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Bandit : [Speaking to Big Enos] Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Why do you want that beer so bad?
Little Enos : Because he's thirsty, dummy!
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Bandit : What's a Texas county mountie doing in Arkansas?
Cledus Snow : I don't know.
Carrie : I don't know.
[Bandit looks at her]
Carrie : I don't know!
Bandit : [on the CB] Well, who the heck knows?
Cledus Snow : I really don't know.
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[the Bandit has a fleet of police cars and helicopters after him]
Bandit : [on CB radio] Cledus?
Cledus Snow : Talk to me, m'boy!
Bandit : Goddamn it, son, we gave it our best shot. I don't like it any more than you do, but... we ain't gonna make it, son. We're gonna hang it up.
Cledus Snow : WHOA! Negatory, negatory, what're you, crazy or something? We come this far, ain't we? LOOK, WHEN WE SAY WE GONNA DO A JOB, WE GONNA DO A JOB!
Bandit : It's me they after! They don't even know Cledus Snow exists!
Cledus Snow : Oh, they don't? Well, I tell you what we gonna do! We just gonna introduce 'em to the boy. So move over a bit, good buddy, 'cause the Snowman is coming through!
[to his dog]
Cledus Snow : Hold on to your ass, Fred!
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Bandit : You must be in a hell of a hurry, huh, Sheriff?
Buford T. Justice : You bet your ass on that, boy.
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Hot Pants : [over CB] I'm hot to trot. Just tell me how I can help, and I'm with you, body and soul. Channel clear.
Bandit : [over CB] Breaker 1-9. Breaker 1-9. Is that Hot Pants Hilliard I hear yakking out there?
Hot Pants : [over CB] And who wants to know?
Bandit : [over CB] This is the Bandit, darlin'.
Hot Pants : [over CB] Well, where are you, you bodied-up, smooth-talkin' thing? And how can I help? Bring it back.
Bandit : [over CB] You still working at that choke-and-puke on West 85?
Hot Pants : [over CB] Affirmative. Affirmative. I'm still dishin' it out.
Bandit : [over CB] Listen, darlin', we're gonna come screaming by there in about 5 minutes with a horde of Smokeys on our ass. How about getting those pals of yours out there to block them off?
Hot Pants : [over CB, enthusiastically] Whew! Love to, love to! But, hey, you're gonna owe me one.
Bandit : [over CB] I'll owe you a BIG one.
Hot Pants : [over CB, laughing] Ha, ha, ha. That's a big 10-4.
Bandit : [over CB] 10-4.
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Cledus Snow : Besides, I can't go with you. I got to go to Conyers in the morning and pick up a load of manure.
Bandit : Shitty job.
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Bandit : [to Frog after hearing Sheriff Justice on the radio] Let's see just what he's got under the hood.
[Bandit takes off, and leaves Sheriff Justice in the dust]
