Female Trouble (1974)

Bob Adams: Ernie

Quotes 

• Aunt Ida : Oh, Ernie! Have another pretzel for Chrissakes! Wait 'til you meet my little Gater. You two are gonna fall right in love.

  Ernie : My dear, I hope so. Are you sure he's gay?

  Aunt Ida : Well I just use common sense. I mean, if they're smart they're queer, and if they're stupid they're straight, right Ernie? Are you sure you won't have another pretzel?

  Ernie : I'm sure, Miss Thing, I'm sure. Pretzels give you plaque.

• Gator : Hello, Aunt Ida.

  Aunt Ida : Gater, what a coincidence! There's somebody here dying to meet you! Ernie, this is Gater; Gater, this is Ernie!

  Ernie : Hi, stud!

  Gator : Get him outta here!

  Aunt Ida : Gater Nelson, you be polite to Ernie! He wants a date with you!

  Gator : Well, I don't want a date with him. I came to say goodbye, Aunt Ida. I'm moving to Detroit.

  Aunt Ida : WHAT?

  Gator : I want to be near the auto in-duss-try. I'm sick of hairdressing, and besides, Dawn had me fired.

  Ernie : I can get you a job at the baths, Mary!

  Gator : Look, fucker, take a walk!

  Ernie : Well!

  Gator : Look, you better beat it before I punch your fuckin' face out that window.

  Ernie : No gay knocks for me, Ida! At best, all you've got here is trade.

  Aunt Ida : Oh, Gater! Ernie's your type! Move back in with me, and we'll get you a job as a female impersonator!

  Ernie : His hands are too big, dahling. Bye, Gater. It was... fab meeting you!

  Gator : Fuck you! You're worse than my wife!