Columbo (TV Series)
Identity Crisis (1975)
Patrick McGoohan: Nelson Brenner
Photos
Quotes
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Lt. Columbo : Uh, just between us, sir...
Nelson Brenner : Mm-hm?
Lt. Columbo : ...somebody's following me.
Nelson Brenner : Now who would be following a cop?
Lt. Columbo : Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out. Can't be the collection company. The car's paid for.
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Nelson Brenner : Do you like music?
Lt. Columbo : Well, I hear it all the time.
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Lt. Columbo : Do you have any wine?
Nelson Brenner : A cellar-full!
Lt. Columbo : Just a glass.
Nelson Brenner : What kind would you like?
Lt. Columbo : [after deliberating] Oh, red.
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Nelson Brenner : Colorado is a river.
Geronimo/A.J. Henderson : Geronimo is an Indian.
Nelson Brenner : There is no beach like a long beach, an amusement park.
Geronimo/A.J. Henderson : When?
Nelson Brenner : In two hours.
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[last lines]
Lt. Columbo : Would you like to hear something funny?
Nelson Brenner : I'd love to.
Lt. Columbo : Today, the Chinese, they changed their minds.
Nelson Brenner : Did they, again?
Lt. Columbo : They're back in the Games.
Nelson Brenner : In the Games. Mahjong.
Lt. Columbo : Mahjong.
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Geronimo/A.J. Henderson : Double-agents don't go broke. They die sometimes but they don't go broke.
Nelson Brenner : Oh, come along now. That theory about my being a double agent? Now, you know there's no fact in it.
Geronimo/A.J. Henderson : The agency doesn't deal in facts, only in rumors, and I have a lot more than rumors, Nelson.
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Lt. Columbo : You have my house bugged.
Nelson Brenner : I know.
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Lt. Columbo : What strikes you about this photograph sir?
Nelson Brenner : I was younger and more beautiful then.
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Lt. Columbo : Do you like to gamble, sir?
Nelson Brenner : What else is there?
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Geronimo/A.J. Henderson : [Entering the amusement pier] There'd'b more privacy on a freeway.
Nelson Brenner : Oh, I don't know. Wasn't it you that said you should never have a clandestine meeting in a clandestine place? Besides which, I've always had a certain perverse affection for amusement parks.
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Nelson Brenner : Lieutenant, I think that I should warn you that I am not an unworldly man. I have powerful and important friends, even in the police department. I respectfully request... that you do not... harass me.
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Lawrence Melville : [amused] You sure are strange, Mr. Steinmetz.
Nelson Brenner : [disguised as Steinmetz] It's a strange world.
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Nelson Brenner : Be seeing you.
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Nelson Brenner : Once more, be seeing you.
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Nelson Brenner : I can stop by any time?
Joyce : Any time.
Nelson Brenner : Well. in that case, I'll be seeing you.
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Nelson Brenner : By now, Lieutenant, you should know that no one in our business is ever who he says he is.