Airport 1975 (1974)

Sid Caesar: Barney

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mrs. Patroni : Well, the first stewardess is at the controls, but she... she's in constant touch with the tower.

  Barney : You mean THE STEWARDESS IS FLYING THE PLANE?

  Mrs. Patroni : [whispering]  Would you please keep your voice down.

  Barney : S-s-sure...

  [Barney becomes hysterical] 

  Barney : The stewardess is flying the plane. The stewardess...

  [Mrs Devanvey hands Barney a large Whiskey] 

  Mrs Devaney : here...

  Barney : Thank you Mrs Devaney, but I don't drink.

  Mrs Devaney : [Looking confused]  Well what difference does it make now?

  Barney : You're right.

  [Barney takes drink from Mrs Devaney and takes gulp of Whiskey] 

  Barney : No difference.

• Barney : Mrs Devaney? Mrs Devaney?

  Mrs. Devaney : Er, yes?

  Barney : Salt Lake City could be very good for you. It's dry there you know?

  Mrs. Devaney : DRY?

• Mrs Devaney : Miss?

  Nancy Pryor : You need something?

  Mrs Devaney : I feel a little queasy. The altitude I guess. I'll have a bourbon... with a beer chaser.

  Barney : Uh. Miss Devaney. Do you know what you just ordered? They call those boiler makers.

  Mrs Devaney : I know.

  Nancy Pryor : A bourbon with a beer chaser.

• [Barney attracts the attention of a woman sewing] 

  Barney : Pardon me. Don't your hands ever get tired?

  Passenger : Idle hands...

  Barney : By the time we land you'll probably have a rug!

  Passenger : [confused]  A rug?