- [after stepping off the space ship and taking a deep breath]
- Dr. Flexi Jerkoff: Good, there's oxygen on this planet.
- Prince Precious: I'm Prince Precious, rightful heir to the throne of Porno. Years ago, this planet was a veritable paradise. But Wang, a maniacal botanist whose organ was devoured by a crazed Penis Flytrap, could not tolerate the existence of so much pleasure, and so, banding together an army of the impotent and frustrated, and armed with a small but effective sex ray, plunged my palace into carnal chaos, and took it over.
- Dr. Flexi Jerkoff: [Looking at his rocket ship] Fortunately I was able to complete the design before the Sex-Ray took effect.
- Monster: [after being shot in the bum by Flesh Gordon] MY ASS! Ooh, the pain! The humiliation! The hemorrhoids!
- Dr. Flexi Jerkoff: [Looking at the castle] Wow! That's fabulous!
- Flesh Gordon: No it isn't, it's only a set.
- Dr. Flexi Jerkoff: Do you take me for a fool? Do you think I don't know you've come here to steal the plans to my new interstellar hydro-combustion miracle-patented micro-teflon nuclear gamma strato rocketship-grade missile? Which was twenty years in the making?
- [Shows blue prints]
- Dr. Flexi Jerkoff: And employs a new updraft design which lifts the ship on small spirals of synthetic strontium pellets?
- [puts blueprints back in jacket]
- Dr. Flexi Jerkoff: Do you think I don't know that? Well, I've never even heard of it. So you're barking up the wrong tree.
- Dr. Flexi Jerkoff: [threatening Little Nelly's lesbian warriors] Get back there! I've got the power pasties, and I know how to use 'em!
- Dr. Flexi Jerkoff: [to Flesh, looking at Little Nelly and her lesbian warriors] My God, Flesh! They're dykes!
- Flesh Gordon: [Terrified] DYKES?
- Prince Precious: With Wang out of the way, and his terrible regime dispersed, the Universe is once again safe for democracy and freedom. And the right of all to happiness, each to his own personal religious convictions.
- Queen Amora: I have led an evil life. And my thoughts have arisen from the seeds of darkness and greed. Take these stones. These are the source of my power. And with them, destroy Wang and his insidious schemes. These, my power pasties, are the only force that can stop the sex beam. Once accomplished, Earthlings, my spirit shall at last rest in peace