- David 'Dave' Garver: Al, you ever find yourself being completely smothered by somebody?
- Al Monte: Anybody I know?
- David 'Dave' Garver: Yeah, you met her at my house the other day.
- Al Monte: Ooooo - chicken delight! Well that's what I call some pretty good smotherin' cousin.
- Al Monte: Well you know what they always say my man, "He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword".
- David 'Dave' Garver: Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out, huh.
- Evelyn: I should've known you'd never do anything to spoil it.
- David 'Dave' Garver: To spoil what?
- Evelyn: What we have between us.
- David 'Dave' Garver: We don't have a goddam thing between us.
- Evelyn: Something wrong?
- David 'Dave' Garver: No, I keep getting the feeling I know you from somewhere.
- Al Monte: Never let it be said that sweet Al Monte can't take a hint.
- David 'Dave' Garver: Who's hinting?
- Evelyn: Why didn't you take my call?
- David 'Dave' Garver: Where does it say that I gotta drop what I'm doing and answer the phone every time it rings?
- Evelyn: Do you know your nostrils flare out into little wings when you're mad? It's kinda cute.
- Sgt. McCallum: Why don't you play some Mantovani sometime?
- David 'Dave' Garver: Didn't know you liked the show.
- Sgt. McCallum: I don't. I like Mantovani.
- Man: [as a passer-by] Having some trouble, lady?
- David 'Dave' Garver: Get lost!
- Evelyn: Yeah, get lost, assholes!
- David 'Dave' Garver: You haven't got the faintest idea of what love is, we don't even know each other.
- Evelyn: It was funny, I was calling you from that phone booth over there and he was telling me you'd left and I was staring at your car - isn't that funny.
- David 'Dave' Garver: Kind of funny.
- David 'Dave' Garver: I'm just trying to tell you something. I'm trying to tell you there's a telephone. I pick it up and I dial it.
- David 'Dave' Garver: There's a little spot in the middle of each day about your size.
- Tobie Williams: Well there's lots of girls about my size if you're really looking.
- David 'Dave' Garver: I'm not, that's what I'm trying to tell you.
- Tobie Williams: You mean you've given up girls?
- David 'Dave' Garver: Well I haven't exactly been the monk of the month or anything like that but I have been making an effort.
- David 'Dave' Garver: Hello?
- Sgt. McCallum: Garver!
- David 'Dave' Garver: Yeah.
- Sgt. McCallum: Sgt McCallum. Sorry to wake you but something has come up.
- David 'Dave' Garver: Yeah I know, she just paid me a visit with a butcher knife.
- Sgt. McCallum: Why? Because she was released on parole pending further legal action.
- David 'Dave' Garver: When?
- Sgt. McCallum: A week ago.
- David 'Dave' Garver: Well I sure like the way you broke your ass to let me know about it!
- Sgt. McCallum: I just found out about it myself.
- David 'Dave' Garver: Who's in charge down there anyway?
- Sgt. McCallum: Now look you wanna help find her or would you rather just sit there and belly-ache?
- David 'Dave' Garver: All right.
- Sgt. McCallum: Now exactly what did she say to you?
- David 'Dave' Garver: I told you, she said that she was well and that she was going to Hawaii.
- Sgt. McCallum: Uh what else?
- David 'Dave' Garver: I already told you.
- Sgt. McCallum: Well tell me again.
- David 'Dave' Garver: You know Sergeant, you really make lousy conversation!
- Sgt. McCallum: You make lousy coffee!
- David 'Dave' Garver: Jay Jay, why don't you go cruise some sailors, huh?
- Jay Jay: Oh please, don't mention seafood.
- Man in window: People trying to sleep here!
- Evelyn: People trying to talk here!
- Man in window: How'd you like to tell that to the law?
- Evelyn: How'd you like to go screw yourself?
- Al Monte: All right, I think I will go out and hit the streets but before doing that I will blow me a little number.
- David 'Dave' Garver: Take it in the other room, will ya - get zonked just breathing the air in here.
- Evelyn: The whole point of having an answering service is to call them once in a while and see if you've got any messages.
- Evelyn: Don't you like me?
- David 'Dave' Garver: You're a nice girl.
- Evelyn: But who needs nice girls?
- David 'Dave' Garver: I'm kind of hung up on one.
- Evelyn: And you don't want to complicate your life.
- David 'Dave' Garver: That's exactly right.
- Evelyn: Well neither do I, but that's no reason we shouldn't sleep together tonight if we feel like it.
- David 'Dave' Garver: Care for a beer?
- Al Monte: Not really, I'd go for something more uplifting but not a brew, David, not a brew my man.
- Al Monte: Girl thinks you've been working too hard, man. She says we should get together and go out tonight, blast the town open a little taste.
- Tobie Williams: I really missed this place.
- David 'Dave' Garver: I missed you.
- Tobie Williams: You'd do me a big favour if you didn't say things like that.
- Tobie Williams: Oh I didn't wish you anything too serious, just a couple of months in traction.
- David 'Dave' Garver: You're all heart.
- Jay Jay: Its nothing personal, I just happen to think she could be a first rate artist if her damn hormones didn't keep getting in the way.
- Evelyn: [menacing Tobie with a pair of hair-scissors] I hope Dave likes what he sees when he gets here. Because that's what he's taking to Hell with him!
- Sgt. McCallum: Why don't you play some Mantovani sometime?
- David 'Dave' Garver: Didn't know you liked the show, Sergeant.
- Sgt. McCallum: I don't. I just like Mantovani.