Catch-22 (1970)

Jon Voight: Milo Minderbinder

Photos 

Quotes 

• 1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : Nately died a wealthy man, Yossarian. He had over sixty shares in the syndicate.

  Yossarian : What difference does that make? He's dead.

  1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : Then his family will get it.

  Yossarian : He didn't have time to have a family.

  1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : Then his parents will get it.

  Yossarian : They don't need it, they're rich.

  1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : Then they'll understand.

• 1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : We're gonna come out of this war rich!

  Yossarian : You're gonna come out rich. We're gonna come out dead.

• Yossarian : Those bastards are trying to kill me.

  1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : No one is trying to kill you sweetheart. Now eat your dessert like a good boy.

  Yossarian : Oh yeah? Then why are they shooting at me Milo?

  Dobbs : They're shooting at everyone Yossarian.

  Yossarian : And what difference does that make?

  Dobbs : Look Yossarian, suppose, I mean just suppose everyone thought the same way you do.

  Yossarian : Then I'd be a damn fool to think any different.

• 1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : Yossarian, I want you to do something for me.

  [removes item from small bag] 

  1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : I want to serve this to the men. Taste it and let me know what you think.

  [Yossarian takes a bite] 

  Yossarian : What is it?

  1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : Chocolate-covered cotton.

  Yossarian : What are you, crazy?

  1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : No good, huh?

  Yossarian : For Christ's sake, you didn't even take the seeds out!

  1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : Is it really that bad?

  Yossarian : It's cotton!

  1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : They've got to learn to like it!

  Yossarian : Why?

  1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : Look, I saw this great opportunity to corner the market in Egyptian cotton. How was I supposed to know there was going to be a glut? I've got a hundred warehouses stacked with the stuff all over the European theater. I can't get rid of a penny's worth. People eat cotton candy, don't they? Well this stuff is better - it's made out of real cotton.

  Yossarian : Milo, people can't eat cotton!

  1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : They've got to - it's for the Syndicate!

  Yossarian : It will make them sick! - why don't you try it yourself if you don't believe me?

  1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : I did - and it made me sick.

• 1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : What's good for M & M Enterprises will be good for the country.

• 1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder : As a matter of fact, Father, I know I can get my hands on an entire shipment of religious relics, blessed by the Pope himself. The Germans swiped them and put them on the open market. As I understand it, the stuff includes a wrist and collarbones of some of your top saints!