Yellow Submarine (1968)

Geoffrey Hughes: Paul McCartney

Photos 

Quotes 

• Paul : Look, it's a school of whales.

  Ringo : They look a little bit old for school.

  Paul : University then.

  Ringo : University of "Wales".

  John : They look like drop outs to me.

• [after Ringo ejects himself from the submarine] 

  Paul : Poor Ringo.

  George : Poor lad.

  Paul : Never did no harm to no one.

  John : Hey, lads, now that Ringo's gone, what do we do?

  Old Fred : Learn to sing trios.

  Paul : Naw, let's save the poor devil.

• George : Hey! There's a Cyclops!

  Paul : Can't be. It's got two eyes.

  John : Must be a "bicycle-ops" then.

  Ringo : There's another one.

  John : A whole "'cyclopedia"!

• George : Maybe time's gone on strike.

  Ringo : What for?

  George : Shorter hours.

  Ringo : I don't blame it. Must be very tiring being time, mustn't it?

  George , John , Paul : Why?

  Ringo : Well, it's a twenty four hour day, isn't it?

  John : You surprise me, Ringo.

  Ringo : Why?

  John : Dealing in abstracts.

• John : Break the glass.

  George : We can't!

  Paul : It's Beatle proof.

  John : Nothing is Beatle proof!

• Paul : [they're hiding from the Meanies in the gazebo]  Do you think they heard us?

  John : I hope not.

  Paul : Shhh!

  George : What did you say?

  Paul : Shhh!

  George : Good plan.

• Paul : So this is a submarine!

  John : Soft, isn't it?

  Ringo : [popping out of a hatch in the floor]  Not if you're on the bottom.

• [Jeremy is writing with his foot] 

  Jeremy : The footnotes for my nineteenth book. This is my standard procedure for doing it. And while I compose it, I'm also reviewing it!

  George : A boob for all seasons.

  Paul : How can he lose?

  John : Were your notices good?

  Jeremy : It's my policy never to read my reviews.

• Ringo : Cor! It's all a load of Father Xmas's.

  Paul : No, that's Father Time.

  Ringo : How'd you know that?

  Paul : Well, I read it in a book once.

• [being swallowed by the vacuum monster] 

  John : The motor's packing in!

  Old Fred : By all the sea nymphettes! We're losing power!

  George : We're being swallowed!

  Paul : What should we do?

  John : Serve tea?

  Paul : Lovely.

• Paul : [singing]  When I get older losing my hair many years from now. Will you still be sending me a valentine, birthday greetings, bottle of wine? If I'd been out till quarter to three would you lock the door? Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I'm Sixty Four?

• Old Fred : [the motor has conked out]  By Neptune's knickerbockers! She's puttered out!

  George : Maybe we should call a road service?

  Paul : Can't; no road.

  Ringo : And we're not sub... scribers.

  George , Paul , John : [cringing]  Subscribers! Oh.

• Paul : Groovy! How do you start this thing?

  Old Fred : It starts with a Blue Meanie attack.

  John : Well, supposing there are no Blue Meanies in the neighbourhood?

  Old Fred : Oh, er, well, then you, um, start looking for a switch.

  Ringo : [Ringo pushes a button that starts playing the first few notes of the song "All Together Now"]  Perhaps this is it.

• John : Hey, Jeremy, what do you know about holes?

  Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD. : There are simply no holes in my education.

  Paul : You mean you haven't composed a "hole" book?

• Lord Mayor : It's quite uncanny, your faces.

  Paul : We're quite cute, really.

  Lord Mayor : You could pass for the originals!

  John : We are the originals.

• John : [in the Sea of Holes]  This place reminds me of Blackburn, Lancashire.

  Paul : [sings]  Oh, boy!

  George : How many do you think there are in all?

  Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD. : Enough to fill the Albert Hall!

• George : Hey, it's seen us!

  Old Fred : Fire the boxing button!

  Paul : Whoever heard of a "boxing button"?

  George : Who cares! Find one!

• Paul : Senile delinquents.

• Paul : [seeing the Chief Meanie for the first time]  Hey, he reminds me of my old English teacher.

  John : Look, if you must shout, shout quietly!

• John : If I could come in, here, I think the theory put forward by Einstein.

  Paul : [singing, to the tune of "Any Old Iron"]  Any old Ein, any old Ein, any any any old Einstein.

  John : Could well be applied here. The people in the ball are obviously extensions of our own personalities, suspended, as it were, in time, frozen in space.

  George : Uh, John.

  John : According to the now-famous theory of relativity.

  George : John.

  John : Which, briefly explained.

  George : John!

  John : Is simply a matter of taking two eggs.

  George : John!

  John : Beating lightly, and adding a little salt and pepper to taste.

• George : Do you speak English?

  Jeremy : Old English, Middle, Dialect, Pure.

  Paul : Well, do you speak English?

  Jeremy : You know, I'm not sure.

  Ringo : He's so smart he doesn't even remember what he knows!

• George : Not a Meanie in sight.

  John : Not even a teeny Meanie.

  Paul : Not even a teeny weeny Meanie.

  Ringo : Grace.

• Old Fred : Well, lads, what do you think?

  George : I think that...

  Old Fred : Remember, there'll be rough seas ahead! What do you think?

  Paul : Well, um...

  Old Fred : Pounding overwhelming waves! What do you think of that, eh?

  John : Well, I think that...

  Ringo : As a matter of fact, I think that...

  George , Paul , John , Ringo : I think...

  Old Fred : Well?

  George , Paul , John , Ringo : I've forgotten.

• Paul : What's the matter fellows? Blue Meanies?

• George : As a matter of fact, there's a war on.

  John : Then brothers in war, to the skirmish must we hence! Shall we hence?

  Paul : Oh, let's not waste any more time sitting on the hence! Beatles to battle! Charge!

• George : Hey, he looks wrong.

  Paul : He doesn't look at all well.

  George : In fact, he's horrible.

  John : He's so ugly.

  All : Really ugly!

• Old Fred : Now, whatever you do don't touch that button.

  Ringo : Which button?

  Old Fred : That one.

  Ringo : This one?

  [Ringo presses the button and is ejected from the submarine, ending up on a creature that gallops away.] 

  Old Fred : Oops, that was the panic button.

  Paul : Poor Ringo.

  George : Poor lad, never did no harm to no one.

  John : Hey lads, now that Ringo's gone, what are we gonna do?

  Old Fred : Learn to sing trios?

• Paul : Let's show him our motor.

  John : Steady on! I mean, you don't want to be showing your motor to just anybody.

• Paul : Gosh, look at all this dust.

  [Paul picks some of the dust up] 

  George : Where does it come from?

  Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD. : A chemical error, I'm quite imprecise. This is a condiment...

  Ringo : Condi...

  Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD. : ...a spice

  Ringo : Ohh. He's right, ya know. It's a pepper.

  Paul : Pepper?

  [John blows the dust off Paul's hand] 

  John : Pepper.

  Ringo : ACHOO!

  George : ACHOO!

  Headland Heads : AAA... .AAACHOO!

• Paul : Say, Ringo, you're not half the lad you used to be.

• Paul : Oh, let's not waste time sitting on the hence.

• Paul : Beatles to battle! Charge!