Yellow Submarine (1968)

Paul Angelis: Ringo Starr, Chief Blue Meanie, George, Narrator

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Quotes 

• Ringo : Hey, I wonder what'll happen if I pull this lever.

  Old Fred : Oh, you mustn't do that now.

  Ringo : Can't help it. I'm a born "Liver-pooler."

• Paul : Look, it's a school of whales.

  Ringo : They look a little bit old for school.

  Paul : University then.

  Ringo : University of "Wales".

  John : They look like drop outs to me.

• Ringo : Liverpool can be a lonely place on a Saturday night, and this is only Thursday morning.

• Old Fred : Oh! Frankenstein!

  Ringo : Yeah, I used to go out with his sister.

  Old Fred : His sister?

  Ringo : Yeah, Phyllis.

• Old Fred : Help! Help! Help!

  Ringo : Thanks, we don't need any.

  Old Fred : Help!

  [singing] 

  Old Fred : Won't you please, please Help me?

  Ringo : Be specific.

• George : Hey! There's a Cyclops!

  Paul : Can't be. It's got two eyes.

  John : Must be a "bicycle-ops" then.

  Ringo : There's another one.

  John : A whole "'cyclopedia"!

• John : It's blue glass.

  Ringo : Must be from Kentucky.

• George : Maybe time's gone on strike.

  Ringo : What for?

  George : Shorter hours.

  Ringo : I don't blame it. Must be very tiring being time, mustn't it?

  George , John , Paul : Why?

  Ringo : Well, it's a twenty four hour day, isn't it?

  John : You surprise me, Ringo.

  Ringo : Why?

  John : Dealing in abstracts.

• Narrator : Once upon a time, or maybe twice, there was an unearthly paradise called Pepperland. 80,000 leagues beneath the sea it lay, or lie. I'm not too sure.

• Chief Meanie : Pepperland is a tickle of joy on the blue belly of the universe. It must be scratched. Right, Max?

  Max : Yes, your Blueness.

  Chief Meanie : WHAT? We Meanies only take "no" for an answer! Is that understood, Max?

  Max : No, Your Blueness!

  Chief Meanie : That's better!

• Chief Meanie : A thing of beauty; destroy it forever!

• Ringo : Move over, I'm driving.

  George : No, I got here first.

  Ringo : We'll drive if you like.

  George : No, you sit in the middle.

  John : No, I'm sitting in the middle.

  George : Who said you were driving?

  Ringo : I am driving.

  George : I'll get in the back, then.

  [they drive off camera] 

  George : [Crash!] 

• George : Ok, men all aboard. Lets go somewhere.

  Ringo : [Indicating Jeremy]  What about him?

  John : He's happy enough going around in circles.

  Ringo : Aw, poor little fellow.

  Paul : I don't know. Ringo's just a sentamentalist.

  Ringo : Aw, look at him. Can't he come with us?

  [he goes over to Jeremy] 

  Ringo : Hey, Mr Boob! You can come with us if you like.

  Jeremy : You mean you'd take a nowhere man?

  Ringo : Yeah, come on. We'll take you somewhere.

• George : Okay, instruments at the ready.

  John : Okay, on the beat of one, a-two, a-three, a-four, a-five, a-six.

  Ringo : Hey, can't you make it three?

  John : Oh, all right, on the beat of three: A-one, a-two, a-three.

• [Jeremy is cornered by the Chief Meanie] 

  Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD. : He does, in truth, seem quite annoyed. Some reference material be-be-before I'm destroyed!

  [reading] 

  Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD. : "Where ground is soft most often grows, arise! Arise! Arouse! A rose!

  [a rose sprouts on the Chief Meanie's nose] 

  Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD. : A rosy nose?

  Chief Meanie : Speak your last piece!

  Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD. : Peace! Peace! Supplant the doom and the gloom! Turn off what is sour! Turn into a flower and bloom! Bloom! Bloom!

  [roses sprout all over the Chief Meanie] 

• George : Yes, dey do look very nice, don't dey?

  Ringo : Yes, dey do.

  John : Dey do dough, don't dey?

  George : Yes, dey do.

  Ringo : Don't dey, dough?

  George : Dough?

  [Paul enters] 

  John : Fa-la. Dat dough!

• Chief Blue Meanie : Hee, hee hee hee hee! Oh, I haven't laughed so much since Pompeii.

• Chief Meanie : Ah, the hills are alive...

  Max : [sings]  ... with the sound of music!

  Chief Meanie : [Punches Max]  Who did it? Who is responsible for this?

  Max : Rimsky-Korsakov?

  [Chief Meanie shoots him, Blue Menial #3 stomps him into ground] 

  Max : [Poking his head up from ground]  Guy Lombardo?

• Old Fred : Hey, what would your friends be doing here?

  Ringo : Displaying.

  Old Fred : Displaying what?

  Ringo : Dis-playing around.

• Old Fred : Now whatever you do, don't touch that button!

  Ringo : Which button?

  Old Fred : That button.

  Ringo : This button?

  [presses the button and is ejected] 

  Ringo : Aaaahhhhh!

  Old Fred : That was the panic button.

• John : Hello, there, blue people! Won't you join us? Hook up, and otherwise co-mingle? What do you say?

  Chief Meanie : Max.

  Max : Your Blue-, uh, I mean, er, Your Newness?

  Chief Meanie : It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?

  Max : Argentina?

  John : Are you with us? Will you join?

  Chief Meanie : Shall we?

  Max : [nodding]  No!

  Chief Meanie : [threatening]  Aargh!

  Max : [hastily]  N-n-y-y-y-y-Yes, Your Newness!

  Chief Meanie : Yes, Max!

  Jeremy : Yes! Ah, yes is a word with a glorious ring! A true universal utopious thing! Engenders embracing and chasing of blues, the very best word for the whole world to use!

  Chief Meanie : Yes, let us mix, Max. I've never admitted it before, but my cousin is the bluebird of happiness!

• Paul : So this is a submarine!

  John : Soft, isn't it?

  Ringo : [popping out of a hatch in the floor]  Not if you're on the bottom.

• Old Fred : You've got to steer clear.

  Ringo : Steer clear?

  Old Fred : Yes, steer. Clear?

  Ringo : Yes, dear.

• John : [Frankenstein's monster has turned into John Lennon]  Hey, Ringo, I've just had the strangest dream.

  Ringo : I warned you not to eat on an empty stomach. Now listen to Old Fred.

  Old Fred : [speaking gibberish]  Submarine! Explosions! Blue Meanies!

  [calmer] 

  Old Fred : What do you think?

  John : [to Ringo]  I think he needs a rehearsal.

• Ringo : Cor! It's all a load of Father Xmas's.

  Paul : No, that's Father Time.

  Ringo : How'd you know that?

  Paul : Well, I read it in a book once.

• Chief Meanie : Go, glove! Point, and having pointed, pounce!

• Old Fred : [the motor has conked out]  By Neptune's knickerbockers! She's puttered out!

  George : Maybe we should call a road service?

  Paul : Can't; no road.

  Ringo : And we're not sub... scribers.

  George , Paul , John : [cringing]  Subscribers! Oh.

• Paul : Groovy! How do you start this thing?

  Old Fred : It starts with a Blue Meanie attack.

  John : Well, supposing there are no Blue Meanies in the neighbourhood?

  Old Fred : Oh, er, well, then you, um, start looking for a switch.

  Ringo : [Ringo pushes a button that starts playing the first few notes of the song "All Together Now"]  Perhaps this is it.

• Ringo : Oh, your story has touched me heart. Jump in. We'll get me friends.

  Old Fred : Oh, bless you.

  Ringo : Did I sneeze?

• Ringo : [as Jeremy disables the Chief Blue Meenie with flowers]  First time I saw that Nowhere Man, that Nobody, "I" knew he was Somebody.

  John : You're right.

• Ringo : Hey, would you believe me if I told you I was being followed by a yellow submarine?

  Police Officer : Um, uh, no. No, I would not.

  Ringo : I, uh, didn't think you would. I could've sworn it was a yellow submarine. But that isn't logical now, is it? It must've been one of them "Unidentified Flying Cupcakes". One of the figments of me imagination. But I don't have an imagination.

• Chief Blue Meanie : [as Blue Minions are routed]  You're advancing the wrong way! Retreat backwards!

• Ringo : George, what are you doing up there?

  George : [driving in Ringo's car]  Now, what is it, Ringo? Is there a matter you'd like to take up or down?

  Ringo : [indicating Fred]  This chap, here.

  Old Fred : [crazy gibberish]  Submarines! Explosions!

  Ringo , Old Fred , John : Blue Meanies!

  George : Aww, you're nuts, the pair of you.

  [drives off] 

  Ringo : Hey, that's my car, lad.

  George : How do you know it's your car, lad?

  Ringo : I know it anywhere. Red with yellow wheels.

  [the car changes colors] 

  Ringo : I mean blue with orange wheels.

  [the car changes colors again] 

  George : It's all in the mind.

• Ringo : Nothing ever happens to me. I'd jump in the River Mersey but it looks like rain.

• Chief Meanie : My dear friend let us not forget that heaven is blue.

• Chief Meanie : Ah, here you are my glovey-dovey. Go get thee hence, and destroy yon upstarts. Smash them, squash them, crush them! O-blue-terate them!

• George : Do you speak English?

  Jeremy : Old English, Middle, Dialect, Pure.

  Paul : Well, do you speak English?

  Jeremy : You know, I'm not sure.

  Ringo : He's so smart he doesn't even remember what he knows!

• George : Not a Meanie in sight.

  John : Not even a teeny Meanie.

  Paul : Not even a teeny weeny Meanie.

  Ringo : Grace.

• George : [as Ringo pulls arrows out of himself]  How was it?

  Ringo : 'Arrowing.

• Chief Meanie : What, what, what! The glove is losing his touch!

• Old Fred : Well, lads, what do you think?

  George : I think that...

  Old Fred : Remember, there'll be rough seas ahead! What do you think?

  Paul : Well, um...

  Old Fred : Pounding overwhelming waves! What do you think of that, eh?

  John : Well, I think that...

  Ringo : As a matter of fact, I think that...

  George , Paul , John , Ringo : I think...

  Old Fred : Well?

  George , Paul , John , Ringo : I've forgotten.

• Ringo : [singing]  And the band begins to play. We all live in a Yellow Submarine. Yellow Submarine. Yellow Submarine.

• Chief Meanie : Are the troops in readiness?

  Max : No, Your Blueness!

  Chief Meanie : The bonkers?

  Max : Nope!

  Chief Meanie : Clowns?

  Max : No!

  Chief Meanie : Snapping Turks?

  Max : No!

  Chief Meanie : Anti music missiles?

  Max : No!

  Chief Meanie : The Dreadful Flying Glove?

  Max : No!

  Chief Meanie : Splendid! Today Pepperland goes blue-y!

• Chief Meanie : [confronting Jeremy]  I think I'll tear him up into little pieces.

  Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD. : Oh, he does, does he?

  Chief Meanie : Yes, I think I'll make a blue burger out of him.

  Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD. : I don't care what you think.

  [tries to leave, but the Chief Meanie grabs him] 

  Chief Meanie : Oh, you don't, eh? We'll soon see about that!

• Old Fred : Now, whatever you do don't touch that button.

  Ringo : Which button?

  Old Fred : That one.

  Ringo : This one?

  [Ringo presses the button and is ejected from the submarine, ending up on a creature that gallops away.] 

  Old Fred : Oops, that was the panic button.

  Paul : Poor Ringo.

  George : Poor lad, never did no harm to no one.

  John : Hey lads, now that Ringo's gone, what are we gonna do?

  Old Fred : Learn to sing trios?

• [repeated line] 

  Ringo : I've got a hole in me pocket.

• Ringo : [seeing Jeremy captured by the Blue Meanies]  Jeremy! Can it be you?

  Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD. : Can it be me? I think you had better inquire of the guards, for when I was captured, they took all my cards.

• Paul : Gosh, look at all this dust.

  [Paul picks some of the dust up] 

  George : Where does it come from?

  Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD. : A chemical error, I'm quite imprecise. This is a condiment...

  Ringo : Condi...

  Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD. : ...a spice

  Ringo : Ohh. He's right, ya know. It's a pepper.

  Paul : Pepper?

  [John blows the dust off Paul's hand] 

  John : Pepper.

  Ringo : ACHOO!

  George : ACHOO!

  Headland Heads : AAA... .AAACHOO!

• Ringo : [sadly]  I want me mom.

  [Blows his nose] 

• Chief Meanie : Tomorrow the world!

• Chief Meanie : Let us not forget that Heaven is blue.

• Old Fred : [Ringo is driving the submarine]  You've got to steer clear!

  Ringo : Steer clear?

  Old Fred : Yes, steer. Clear?

  Ringo : Yes, steer.

• Old Fred : [parking Ringo's car]  Just park it here.

  Ringo : I'll just park it here.

• [the Beatles just saw duplicates of themselves in a second yellow submarine] 

  George : Maybe we're both part of a vast yellow submarine fleet.

  Ringo : There's only two of us.

  John : Well, then, I would suggest that yonder yellow submarine is none other than ourselves...

  Old Fred : Going backwards.

  John : In time.

• Chief Meanie : FIRE!