The Odd Couple (1968)
John Fiedler: Vinnie
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Quotes
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Murray : What are you, crazy, letting him go to the john alone?
Roy : Suppose he tries to kill himself!
Oscar Madison : How's he gonna kill himself in the john?
Murray : Whaddaya mean, how? Razor blades, poison, anything that's in there.
Oscar Madison : Nah, that's the kids' bathroom. The worst he could do in there is brush his teeth to death.
Roy : He could jump!
Vinnie : That's right! Isn't there a window in there?
Oscar Madison : Yeah, but it's only six inches wide.
Murray : Yeah, well he could break the glass - he could cut his wrists!
Oscar Madison : He could also flush himself into the East River. I'm telling you he's not going to try anything.
Roy : Sh! Sh! Listen, listen!
[they all follow Roy to the bathroom door; Felix is heard crying]
Roy : He's crying. You hear that, he's crying!
Murray : Isn't that terrible? For God's sakes, Oscar, do something, say something!
Oscar Madison : What? What do you say to a man who's crying in your bathroom?
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Oscar Madison : Hey wait a minute, wait a minute, the pot's shy. Who didn't put in a quarter?
Murray : You didn't.
Oscar Madison : You got a big mouth, Murray. Just for that, lend me twenty dollars.
Murray : I just loaned you twenty dollars. Borrow from somebody else, I keep winning my own money back.
Roy : You owe everybody in the game. If you don't have it, you shouldn't play.
Oscar Madison : All right, I'm through being a nice guy, you owe me six dollars apiece for the buffet!
Vinnie : What Buffet?
[they all chime in]
Vinnie : What buffet?
Speed : What buffet? Hot beer and two sandwiches left over from when you went to high school.
Oscar Madison : What do you want at a poker game, a tomato surprise? Murray, lend me twenty dollars or I'll call your wife and tell her you're in Central Park wearing a dress.
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Vinnie : If you need me, I'll be at the Meridian Motel in Miami Beach.
Oscar Madison : You'll be the first one I call, Vinnie.
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Murray : I'm telling you, I'm worried. I know Felix. He's going to try something crazy.
Vinnie : You mean you just threw him out?
Oscar Madison : That's right, I threw him out. It was my decision. All right, I admit it. Let it be on my head.
Vinnie : Let what be on your head?
Oscar Madison : How should I know? Felix put it there. Ask him.
Speed : He's out there somewhere.
Oscar Madison : Listen, he was driving us all crazy with his napkins and his ashtrays and his bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches. All of you said so.
Roy : We didn't say kick him out, Oscar.
Oscar Madison : Well, who do you think I did it for? I did it for us!
Roy : Us?
Oscar Madison : Yes, that's right. Do you know what he was planning for next Friday night's poker game as a change of pace? Do you have any idea?
Vinnie : What?
Oscar Madison : A luau! A Hawaiian luau! Roast pork, fried rice, spareribs - they don't play poker like that in Honolulu!
