How I Won the War (1967)
John Lennon: Gripweed
Photos
Quotes
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Gripweed : And I'm not a thief, really. I've never found anything worth keeping.
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Gripweed : Well, our officer calls me up and he says to me, he says, "Musketeer Gripweed..." He was a tall chap, some would call him weedy. I did. He said to me, and bear in mind that we were some few hundred miles behind enemy lines. He said, "green, green, green," so I did.
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Gripweed : I fought for three reasons. I can't remember what they were. The first reason gets you in, and the reason when you are in is staying alive. I won't know the reason they find afterwards, but it will be a very good one for why it was fought. I'm sure I'll be glad.
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Juniper : [re-enters scene still dressed as a clown, Drogue, Spool, Gripweed, and Clapper in tow] Bayonet!
Transom : Bayonet?
Spool : Where's your bayonet?
Juniper : Must have left it sticking in the enemy, sir!
Spool : Spur!
Juniper : Where?
Transom : Where's your spur?
Juniper : Must have left it sticking in the horse, sir!
Goodbody : [calls out] Two men!
[exeunt players]
Goodbody : [walks back to Transom and ex-Dooley, points his finger at ex-Dooley, shouting] There! On the end of my finger!
Gripweed : [re-enter players] Finger!
Juniper : Finger?
Gripweed : Musketeer Juniper, where's your finger?
Juniper : Must have left it sticking up the Khyber Pass, sir!
Transom : Self-inflicted injury! March him off, Musket Major! Two - wait for it!
[pause, players posed as if frozen while running]
Transom : Two men!
[exeunt players]
