The Fortune Cookie (1966)

Howard McNear: Mr. Cimoli

Quotes 

• Willie Gingrich : Now tell me, Mr. Cimoli, exactly how did you break your hip?

  Mr. Cimoli : It's my *pelvis*!

  Willie Gingrich : All right, your pelvis. How did it happen?

  Mr. Cimoli : Well I was coming out of the store, and there it was on the sidewalk.

  Willie Gingrich : What?

  Mr. Cimoli : [Shows Gingrich a banana peel]  This.

  Willie Gingrich : I see. And you were coming out of *what* store?

  Mr. Cimoli : Nat's Delicatessen, on Euclid Avenue.

  Willie Gingrich : Too bad.

  Mr. Cimoli : Oh, such pain.

  Willie Gingrich : I mean too bad it didn't happen further down the street in front of the May Company. From *them* you can collect. Couldn't you have dragged yourself another twenty feet?

• Mr. Cimoli : Hey, how much do you think my pain is worth?

  Willie Gingrich : By itself, nothing. So, it's a good thing you came to me. Before we're through with them, we'll have them begging for mercy

  Mr. Cimoli : Who's them?

  Willie Gingrich : That I haven't figured out yet. But don't go away. I'll think if maybe...

• Mr. Cimoli : Say, how much do you think my pelvis is worth?

  Willie Gingrich : By itself, nothing. So it's a good thing you came to me. Before we're through, we'll have them begging for mercy.

  Mr. Cimoli : Well, who's "them"?

  Willie Gingrich : That l haven't figured out yet.