Batman: The Movie (1966)

Burt Ward: Robin, Dick Grayson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Robin : [after Batman manages to safely allow a bomb to explode without injuring himself]  You risked your life to save that... riff-raff in the bar!

  Batman : They may be drinkers, Robin, but they're also human beings - and may be salvaged. I had to do it!

• Batman : Robin, listen to these riddles. Tell me if you interpret them as l do. One. What has yellow skin and writes?

  Robin : A ball-point banana!

  Batman : Right. Two. What people are always in a hurry?

  Robin : Rushing people? Russians!

  Batman : Right again. Now, what would you say they mean?

  Robin : Banana. Russian. I've got it! Someone Russian is going to slip on a banana peel and break their neck!

  Batman : Precisely, Robin!

• Commissioner Gordon : It could be any one of them. But which one? Which ones?

  Batman : Pretty *fishy* what happened to me on that ladder.

  Commissioner Gordon : You mean where there's a fish there could be a Penguin?

  Robin : But wait! It happened at sea. See? C for Catwoman!

  Batman : Yet, an exploding shark *was* pulling my leg...

  Commissioner Gordon : The Joker!

  Chief O'Hara : All adds up to a sinister riddle. Riddle-R. Riddler!

  Commissioner Gordon : Oh, the thought strikes me. So dreadful, I scarcely dare give it utterance.

  Batman : The four of them. Their forces combined.

  Robin : Holy nightmare!

• Robin : Gosh, drinking's sure a filthy thing isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes.

  Batman : Uh-uh.

• [Batman and Robin are running to the United World Building] 

  Robin : Holy marathon! I'm getting a stitch, Batman!

  Batman : Let's hope that it's a stitch in time, Robin, that saves nine - The nine members of the United World Security Council. Come on.

• Robin : [sees a shark attached to Batman's leg]  Holy sardine!

• Batman : Look at this pair of joking riddles.

  Chief O'Hara : [reads]  What does a turkey do when he flies upside down?

  Robin : He gobbles up!

  Chief O'Hara : Of course.

  Batman : And, number two...

  Commissioner Gordon : [reads]  What weighs six ounces, sits in a tree and is very dangerous?

  Robin : A sparrow with a machine gun!

  Commissioner Gordon : Yes, of course.

• Robin : Are you sure you didn't hurt your head in that fight, Batman?

  Batman : Perfectly. Here, swallow this pill.

  Robin : Thanks.

• Robin : Holy heart failure.

• Vice Admiral Fangschliester : ...to some chap named P.N. Guin.

  Batman : P.N. Guin?

  Robin : The Penguin!

• Robin : When you think, Batman, with people in weird outfits, like the four supercrooks hangin' around, it's amazing someone hasn't already reported this place to the police!

  Batman : It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions.

  Robin : Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!

• Robin : [pointing toward the sky]  That crazy missile! It wrote two more riddles before it blew up!

  Batman : [reading a skywritten message]  "What goes up white and comes down yellow and white?"

  Robin : An egg!

  Batman : [reading another skywritten message]  "How do you divide seventeen apples among sixteen people?"

  Robin : Make applesauce!

  Batman : [thinking out loud]  Apples into applesauce - A unification into one smooth mixture. An egg - nature's perfect container. The container of all our hopes for the future.

  Robin : A unification and a container of hope? United World Organization!

  Batman : Precisely, Robin! And there's a special meeting of the Security Council today. If what I fear is true...

  Robin : Wow! Let's commandeer a taxi!

  Batman : No, Robin. Not at this time of day. Luckily, we're in tip-top condition. It'll be faster if we run. Let's go!

• The Penguin : Ahoy there! Could you chaps direct me to a policeman? Commodore Schmidlapp's the name. Big Ben Distilleries, you know.

  [Batman and Robin look at each other] 

  Robin : Holy costume party. That's the Penguin.

  Batman : Obviously.

  Robin : What's his game, I wonder.

  [Batman turns back to the Penguin] 

  Batman : What's your game, Penguin?

  The Penguin : Penguin?

  [laughs] 

  The Penguin : No, my name's Schmidlapp, old boy. Schmidlapp.

• Robin : Holy polaris!

• Robin : [seeing the villains fly off on the Penguin's jet pack umbrellas]  Holy Halloween!

• Robin : Holy Long John Silver! A pirate periscope!

• Robin : It looks bad, Batman. This brassy bird has us buffaloed.

• Miss Kitka : [to Batman]  If you please, to take off the mask to give the better picture?

  Commissioner Gordon : Great Scott! Batman take off his mask?

  Chief O'Hara : The woman must be mad!

  Batman : Please... Chief O'Hara... all of you. This young lady is a stranger to our shores. Her request is not unnatural, however, impossible to grant.

  Miss Kitka : Impossible?

  Batman : Indeed. If Robin and I were to remove our masks, the secret of our true identities would be revealed.

  Commissioner Gordon : Completely destroying their value as ace crimefighters.

  Chief O'Hara : Sure, ma'am. Not even Commisioner Gordon and meself know who they really are.

  Robin : In fact, our own relatives we live with don't know.

  Miss Kitka : But your so curious costumes...

  Robin : Don't be put off by them, ma'am. Underneath this garb, we're perfectly ordinary Americans.

  Miss Kitka : You are like the masked vigilantes in the Westerns, no?

  Commissioner Gordon : Certainly not! Batman and Robin are fully deputized agents of the law.

  Robin : Support your police! That's our message!

  Batman : Well said, Robin... and no better way to end this press conference... thank you, and good day.

• Robin : Holy demolition!

  Alfred : Bless my dustpan!

• Robin : Holy bikini!

• Commissioner Gordon : A fine job, Batman. You allayed their fears magnificently.

  Batman : What else could I have done, Commissioner? If I told the truth, panic will grip the city.

  Chief O'Hara : The truth. Sure, and what is the truth?

  Batman : A decoy. A strange anonymous warning that Commodore Schmidlapp is in danger, to lure me into a trap.

  Commissioner Gordon : A fiendish attempt on Batman's life.

  Chief O'Hara : You mean, when they were luring you to a watery grave, the commodore's yacht has been hijacked in some places?

  Batman : Precisely.

  Commissioner Gordon : And who behind it? Not a clue.

  Batman : Tell me, Commissioner: What known supercriminals are at large just now?

  Commissioner Gordon : I'll check at once, Batman. Bonnie, let's have the latest status report on supercriminals still at large.

  Bonnie : Yes, Commissioner.

  Commissioner Gordon : Thank you, Bonnie. Coming up, Batman, on the closed-circuit TV screen. Come over here.

  [the quartet move to the closed-circuit TV screen on the wall] 

  Closed Circuit TV Screen : Status report. Known supercriminals not currently imprisoned.

  Batman : The Penguin.

  Commissioner Gordon : That pompous, waddling master of foul play, maestro a million criminal umbrellas.

  Robin : The Joker.

  Chief O'Hara : Devilish clown prince of crime! Oh, if I only had a nickel for every time he's baffled us!

  Commissioner Gordon : What, the Riddler loose too?

  Batman : So it seems. Loose to plague us with his criminal conundrums.

  Robin : Gosh! And the Catwoman!

  Closed Circuit TV Screen : End of status report.

• Robin : Holy horseshoe!

• Robin : Holy jumble! Where's the hope of the world now?

• Robin : Holy heartbreak! Miss Kitka!

• Robin : Wow! What a set of superpower lenses! No wonder we were fooled.

• Robin : Holy glue pot! What's going on?

  Batman : The fiends! They've converted this buoy into a gigantic magnet! It's got us by the - metallic objects in our utility belts.

• Robin : Holy Merlin magician! Get set for a shock.

• Robin : Where does that elevator go?

  Batman : Downstairs, obviously, to an abandoned submarine dock on the river.

  Robin : Holy Captain Nemo! They'll head for sea by way of Short lsland Sound.

• Batman : Robin. Over here, look. The hope of the world, tottering on the brink!

  Robin : Holy almost!

  Batman : To think, it might have been shattered before our very eyes.

• Batman : You'll keep constant watch via the Micro-TV Batscanner.

  Robin : Sure! And if the Riddler tries to make good on his filthy threat...

  Batman : l'll - bash him - brutally.

• Robin : Gosh, Batman, the nobility of the almost-human porpoise.

  Batman : True, Robin. It was noble of that animal to hurl itself into the path of that final torpedo. He gave his life for ours.

• Robin : Some luck, landing right on top of a bed of foam rubber!

  Batman : Yes, Robin. I'd say the odds against it would make even the most reckless gambler cringe. True, I did think I'd spotted it out of the corner of my eye.