The Night of the Iguana (1964)

Ava Gardner: Maxine Faulk

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maxine Faulk : What the hell are you doing, Shannon?

  T. Lawrence Shannon : I just cut loose one of God's creatures at the end of his rope.

  Maxine Faulk : What for?

  T. Lawrence Shannon : So that one of God's creatures could be free from panic, and scamper home safe and free. A little act of grace, Maxine.

• Judith Fellowes : [Yelling at Shannon]  You thought you outwitted me, didn't you, having your paramour here cancel my call.

  Maxine Faulk : Miss Fellowes, honey, if paramour means what I think it does, you're gambling with your front teeth.

• Maxine Faulk : What... uh... subject do you teach back in that college of yours, honey?

  Judith Fellowes : Voice... if that's got anything to do with it.

  Maxine Faulk : Well geography is my speciality. Did you know that if it wasn't for the *dikes*, the plains of Texas would be engulfed by the gulf?

  T. Lawrence Shannon : Maxine!

  Maxine Faulk : Let's level for awhile, butch, old gal, you know what you're sore about? What you're really sore about? That little quail of your's has a natural preference for *men*! Instead of...

  T. Lawrence Shannon : Maxine!

  Judith Fellowes : What is she talking about?

  T. Lawrence Shannon : You better go now, Miss Fellowes, the party's over. Right now I'm no longer in a position to discharge my responsibility of protecting you. A responsibility from which you discharged me. Just go, Miss Fellowes. Just go.

• Maxine Faulk : Even I know the difference between lovin' somebody, and just goin' to bed with them. Even I know that.

• Maxine Faulk : Well she's done a pretty good job of destroying you!

  T. Lawrence Shannon : Maxine, don't rob me of the credit for my own small accomplishments.

• Maxine Faulk : So you appropriated the young chick and the old hens are squawking, huh?

  T. Lawrence Shannon : It's very serious. The child is emotionally precocious.

  Maxine Faulk : Bully for her.

  T. Lawrence Shannon : Also, she is traveling under the wing of a military escort of a butch vocal teacher.

• Maxine Faulk : [final lines]  Why don't we go down to the beach?

  T. Lawrence Shannon : I can get down the hill, Maxine, but I'm not too sure about getting back up.

  Maxine Faulk : I'll get you back up, baby. I'll always get you back up.

• Maxine Faulk : When I hired them beach boys, did Fred care? Did he raise hell when I started going night swimming with them? Hell no. He just went night fishing all night long.

• Maxine Faulk : What's this mess supposed to be?

  Chang : Soup.

  Maxine Faulk : Well, it's burnt!

  [walks over to Chang, who is smoking marijuana] 

  Maxine Faulk : Chang... I've warned you before. I don't allow this stuff on the premises, even if you're on vacation. You remember the time you got it in the enchiladas?

• Maxine Faulk : [to Miss Fellowes]  Well, if you're not going to eat him, I'd better go see about food for dinner.

• T. Lawrence Shannon : Where's Fred?

  Maxine Faulk : Dead.

  T. Lawrence Shannon : Did you say dead?

  Maxine Faulk : That's what I said. Fred's dead.

• Maxine Faulk : [with admiration]  Miss Jelkes, honey, you're a hustler! A fantastic, cool hustler! You're completely broke, huh?

  Hannah Jelkes : Yes, we are. Completely.

• Maxine Faulk : All right, honey, calm down.

  Hannah Jelkes : I am perfectly calm, Mrs. Faulk.

  Maxine Faulk : Well, I'm not! That's the trouble. The trouble is Shannon. I caught the vibrations between you two.

  Hannah Jelkes : Mrs. Faulk, I'm a New England spinster who is pushing 40.

  Maxine Faulk : Well, who the hell isn't!

• Maxine Faulk : Hey! Now just a flippin' minute!

• T. Lawrence Shannon : Maxine, you got to help me with her, honey. She's not only trying to get me fired, she's also trying to pin on me a rape charge, a charge of statutory rape.

  Maxine Faulk : What's statutory rape? I've never known what that was.

  T. Lawrence Shannon : That's when a man is seduced by a girl under 20.

• Maxine Faulk : I know what you're up to, honey. You want to make yourself useful so I'll let you and old Gramps stay on here free.

  Hannah Jelkes : Oh, I wouldn't do anything so obvious - not with a woman of your practicality.

• Maxine Faulk : I loved old Fred. Wouldn't anybody guess the way I carried on; except, Fred. He knew. You see, he was 28 years older than me and we hadn't slept together in I don't know when. Fred used to say - I guess he was impotent. But, if you ask me, honey, he just plain lost interest.

  Hannah Jelkes : What - other interests did he have, Mrs. Faulk.

  Maxine Faulk : Only fishing. He'd catch 'em and throw 'em back in. Unless he swallowed the hook and then we'd have 'em for supper. Fred lived and let lived.

• Maxine Faulk : I remember one time, he came down here out of season, like now. And I went on the make for him. But, Shannon wasn't having any, on account of his friendship with Fred.

  Hannah Jelkes : [referring to fish she is preparing]  Well, they're all ready for steaming.

  Maxine Faulk : So was I, Miss Jelkes. So was I! But I couldn't tell him that Fred didn't give a damn. It didn't seem fair to Fred.

  Hannah Jelkes : You know I think you're quite a remarkable person too, Mrs... Faulk.

  Maxine Faulk : Don't you try to con me, honey. I understand men. But, I still got my biological urges.

• Hannah Jelkes : Will Mr. Shannon be all right, do you think?

  Maxine Faulk : All right? Honey, I don't know. He cracks up like this so regular, you could sell a calendar by it. About, twice a year. He's done it twice down here! Fred used to say it had something to do with the moon. I sure wish old Fred was here right now.

• Maxine Faulk : Why do you always want the young ones, honey?

  T. Lawrence Shannon : I don't want any. Any! Regardless, of age.

  Maxine Faulk : Then why do you take them, Shannon? Why, Shannon?

  T. Lawrence Shannon : Well, people need human contact, Maxine.

• T. Lawrence Shannon : They're chasing an iguana.

  Hannah Jelkes : What will they do with it?

  Maxine Faulk : Tie 'em up, fatten 'em up, and eat 'em up.

• Maxine Faulk : Miss Fellowes, honey, I know you got a beef or two; but, why don't you just relax with a little complimentary Rum Coco?

  Judith Fellowes : Save them for your friend, Mr. Shannon. I don't imbibe.

  Maxine Faulk : And how about a little Pot? I don't usually serve it to my guests; but, you look like you could use somthin' special.

• Nonno : "Love's an old remembered song, A drunken fiddler plays, Stumbling crazily along, Crooked alleyways - "

  Hannah Jelkes : Not now, Nonno.

  Nonno : "When his heart is mad with music, He will play the - "

  Hannah Jelkes : Nonno, please.

  [Nonno sits down] 

  Hannah Jelkes : He thinks someone called for a recitation of one of his poems.

  Maxine Faulk : Sure, Hann. In this crowd, old Gramps is the life of the party.

• Maxine Faulk : Why don't you buzz off on your broomstick!

• Maxine Faulk : Baby, you've got the daddy of all spooks! It's the blue plate special!

• Maxine Faulk : I'm good at catchin' vibrations. And there were vibrations between you, and mutual vibrations, the minute you got here! And just that, believe me, just that is enough to put me in a lather. And don't ask me why. Look at him! Broke, spooked, and good as fired.

  Hannah Jelkes : Those are only his circumstances, Mrs. Faulk. Not the man himself.

  Maxine Faulk : Ah, any how, forget what I said. I wasn't sore at you. I was sore at Shannon.

• Maxine Faulk : [laughing]  Shannon, you were vicious, after all time, on Miss Fellowes suitcase. I've heard of a *dog* cockin' his leg!

• Maxine Faulk : My only reason for including you on this deal is that a man's presence is required. There's gotta be a man. That's one of the basic principals of hotel administration! There's gotta be a man to make the place attractive to the ladies.

• Maxine Faulk : She's not going to take me up on my proposition?