Who's Minding the Store? (1963)

Jerry Lewis: Norman Phiffier

Photos 

22 more photos

Quotes 

• [repeated line] 

  Norman Phiffier : I believe a man has gotta be king in his own ranch-type-style tract house.

• Mr. Quimby : So, you agree to start your great climb to success, your climb to the very top?

  Norman Phiffier : I'm ready to climb!

  Mr. Quimby : By starting at the very bottom?

  Norman Phiffier : Right down below the depths of the bottom, deep, lowest place where I am, I'll start.

• Mr. Quimby : How do you suppose I got to be the general manager of this great store? How?

  Norman Phiffier : How? How?

  Mr. Quimby : I'll tell you! I'll tell you!

  Norman Phiffier : Go ahead! Go ahead!

  Mr. Quimby : I will! I will!

• [at the golf practice machine] 

  Norman Phiffier : Here's your driver, Mr. President.

  Mr. John P. Tuttle : Thank you, Jackie.

  Norman Phiffier : You... oh, that was good.

• Norman Phiffier : Something you women would like? Ah, that is, um, could I show you something in shoes?

  Lady wrestler : My feet, I hope.

  Norman Phiffier : [Fake laughs]  Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, that is good. Yes, the size and style?

  Lady wrestler : Black Spring-O-Lators, size three.

  Norman Phiffier : The...

  [pause] 

  Norman Phiffier : size... three?

  Lady wrestler : Three!

  Norman Phiffier : SIZE three?

  Lady wrestler : Something the matter with your hearing aid?

  Norman Phiffier : Well, no, I could turn it up.

• Norman Phiffier : What are you, crazy, lady?

• Mr. Quimby : And you, too, will do good work, but first you must get the FEEL of this great store.

  Norman Phiffier : Oh, I'll have no trouble with that. I have very sensitive fingertips.

• [Trying to slip a small, open-toe shoe onto a large foot, Norman searches for a leading toe] 

  Norman Phiffier : If I could just grab one of these, maybe the others'll follow.

• Lady wrestler : Are you making improper advances to me?

  Norman Phiffier : My back is to ya, lady. My back is to ya.

• Mr. Quimby : By some chance, Mr. Phiffier, could you be stealing a TV set?

  Norman Phiffier : Me, stealing, Mr. Quimby? Oh, I'd never steal anything.

  Mr. Quimby : If I recollect correctly, Mr. Phiffier, you're supposed to be working in the mattress department today.

  Norman Phiffier : Oh, yeah, I AM working in the mattress department today.

  Mr. Quimby : Then what are you doing here?

  Norman Phiffier : Oh, well, I was just really trying to, uh, satisfy a charge customer, you see, sir. Uh, buh, a lady that wanted to see, on a mattress there, just, uh, just how good the TV set was, so I borrowed two ladders, and I put a surfboard on top of two ladders that I borrowed from the Hawaiian hooky hula department. I just wanted to satisfy a charge customer so I could be the greatest salesman just like you - you, who are my idol, Mr. Quimby. If I ever turn out to be as good as you, I shall really live and breathe the air of kings. Oh, if I could ever be like you, oh boy, there'd never be Death of a Salesman with me. I'd live on, if I ever... Mmm.

• Norman Phiffier : I see you on the television all the time. You look the same in person.

• Hazel, a Dowager : My carpets are three inches thick, and...

  Norman Phiffier : Three inches thick! Huh. You better not ever invite Mickey Rooney over. You'll never be able to find him.

• Norman Phiffier : Well, your secretary isn't here so I thought I'd barge right in?

• Norman Phiffier : You mean to tell me she bosses you?

  Mr. John P. Tuttle : She's got the money, son. Whoever has the money is always in charge.