General Hospital (1963– )

Lesli Kay: Lois Cerullo

Quotes 

• Lorenzo Alcazar : Carly is irrelevant.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Yeah, and I'm the Queen of England.

• Lois Cerullo-Ashton : My daughter would kill me for being here. She's right. You're dangerous. And I could end up getting killed in the crossfire.

  Lorenzo Alcazar : That's true.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : At the very least, I'll probably end up with a broken heart. But, I can't seem to stop myself. Because I want something with you.

  Lorenzo Alcazar : Look, if you're frightened, you should run. You should listen to your instincts.

• Lois Cerullo-Ashton : You scare me, Lorenzo. And not in the violent sense. I'm scared of you - your heart, the look in your eyes, and the way I'm starting to feel.

  Lorenzo Alcazar : Look, if I was a good person, I would ask you to leave. I'd freeze you out. You'd be a lot safer that way. And I'm sure, happier in the end. But I think it's obvious by now I'm not a very good person.

• Lorenzo Alcazar : Look, I know you and Sonny are old friends, but this is a long way from Bensonhurst, and he's grown up to be a killer.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : And what are you?

  Lorenzo Alcazar : The same, as I've tried to warn you. Sonny and I can be alike. I guess.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Well, that much you got right. Yeah, you both waste your talent and gifts on a brutal, ugly profession that doesn't get you anything but money and an early death.

  Lorenzo Alcazar : You'd think it would work out that way, wouldn't you? But it's the people around me who keep dying - something else I happen to have in common with Sonny - although he still has some family left.

• Lois Cerullo-Ashton : I'm not defending Sonny.

  Lorenzo Alcazar : Lois, Don't.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Just hear me out.

  Lorenzo Alcazar : You're going to tell me how Sonny loss his temper, that he didn't mean it, he's really a good guy, and I know you believe that because you're generous enough to believe the same thing about me. You know what? You may be right. There may be some thin veneer of decency in both of us. But Sonny will kill to get his way and I will kill to survive. So at the end of the day, one of us is going to be eliminated.

• Courtney Matthews Morgan : Jax is just the tip of the iceberg as far as me and Sonny. We - we have some major issues.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Well, your brother, Sonny, he can be a little difficult.

  Courtney Matthews Morgan : Try impossible. Look, he - he wants to run my life and shut me out at the same time. Sonny - I mean, he's arrogant, he's obsessed with power, and you know what, he gets so incredibly angry sometimes you can't even be around him.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Yeah, but he's also decent and generous and superloyal. And he is totally respectful of women, except for the ones he happens to be sleeping with - yeah, they get destroyed. Which is perfect justice that he wound up with Carly, that raving bitch from hell.

  Courtney Matthews Morgan : That would be Carly, my best friend.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Oh. Give me a second to pry my foot out of my mouth, and you can tell me all about it.

• Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Yeah, I know your type, Mr. Lorenzo Alcazar. Beautiful manners, not hard to look at. There is something very fundamentally decent about you that marches hand in hand with something very fundamentally dangerous. Which is what makes gangsters bad boyfriends and even worse business partners.

  Lorenzo Alcazar : I'm not a gangster.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Because even with the best of intentions, which I'm sure yours are, their lives depend on secrecy and lies. They're used to getting whatever they want at any cost. They are basically spoiled, overgrown 6-year-olds running around with guns. And what sensible woman would want any part of that?

  Lorenzo Alcazar : What if I told this sensible woman that I have a master's from oxford?

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Well, then I would say congratulation on your intellectual pursuits. But that a well-read gangster is still a gangster. And I have learned something in my life.

  Lorenzo Alcazar : Mm-hmm.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Yeah - I don't accept money from shady characters.

  Lorenzo Alcazar : You know, I don't think I've ever been called a shady character before.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Well, then, you're long overdue - no offense.

• Sonny Corinthos : I don't see you for years. You show up on my doorstep asking for a favor.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Guilty as charged. But I have to say it's not like you've gone out of your way to stay in touch with me either, mister.

  Sonny Corinthos : Right, right.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : In fact, last time we spoke I think you were getting married to Carly, which was unexpected, to say the least, but it looks like everything's worked out all right. I understand you had a baby.congratulations.

  Sonny Corinthos : Thank you.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Can I see him?

  Carly Corinthos : No. Morgan's sleeping. Maybe some other time.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Oh. What about that other little tyke?

  Sonny Corinthos : He's across the hall with Jason.

  Carly Corinthos : His name is Michael.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Michael. Right. Yes, A. J. 's son.

  Carly Corinthos : No, he's A. J. 's nothing. Sonny's is Michael's legal adopted father.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Naturally. I never intended to imply otherwise.

  Carly Corinthos : Well, then, maybe you should think before you open your mouth and say things that are offensive.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Ohh. Look at you.

• Carly Corinthos : How rude are you?

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Come again?

  Carly Corinthos : Well, Sonny's good enough for you to partner up with when you need his - oh, let me think about this, take a wild guess - capital, and now he just seems to be a little too much baggage to carry?

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Pretty much.

  Carly Corinthos : How you could call her a friend, I just don't understand.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Maybe because you haven't had enough experience in that area to understand.

• Lorenzo Alcazar : Hey, glad you called. Your timing was perfect. My plane just touched down. I had to go to South America on business. This isn't social, is it? What happened?

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : You need to brace yourself, Lorenzo.

  Lorenzo Alcazar : OK.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : This isn't going to be easy to say, so I'll just say it. Your niece is dead.

  Lorenzo Alcazar : Sage is dead?

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Lorenzo, I am so sorry.

  Lorenzo Alcazar : Tell me what happened.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Brooke Lynn called me. When that phone rang in the middle of the night, I knew it couldn't be good. Sage was over at the Quartermaine house with Brookie and Dillon and Georgie and their friend Trent, too. They were trapped there because some truck crashed and blocked the main gate. Some maniac got in the house and started killing people. First Sage, then Trent, rest their souls. Apparently, this woman is a total nut job.

  Lorenzo Alcazar : Woman?

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Someone named Mary Bishop.

• Brooke-Lynn Ashton : I never knew Sage's uncle had a heart until I saw it breaking.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Well, even tough guys have hearts.

• Lois Cerullo-Ashton : What was I thinking? Showing up at your door, trying to reach out to you, one human being to another in your time of grief?

  Lorenzo Alcazar : You came here because you feel guilty for asking me to sign over the rights to my dead niece's poem before the dirt is even fresh on her grave.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : You really are the heartless bastard that everybody warned me about!

  Lorenzo Alcazar : And all those warnings just made you want to fly closer to the flame. Don't blame me if you got burned.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Why are you doing this? I wanted you, you wanted me back.

  Lorenzo Alcazar : And now I've had you. Let's just say we satisfied our curiosity and just leave it at that, all right?

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Gladly.

• Lorenzo Alcazar : I owe you a profound apology.

  Lois Cerullo-Ashton : Gee, I wonder why. Maybe because you used me for sex and then pitched me out into the night like yesterday's garbage?