Snow White and the Three Stooges (1961)

Moe Howard: Moe

Photos 

Quotes 

• Head Cook : What happened to the regular man?

  Moe : Oh, a crate of onions upset him.

  Head Cook : You mean he ate a whole crate full?

  Moe : No. It fell on 'em.

  Head Cook : Good. The last lot of onions he sent me even a pig wouldn't eat.

  Moe : Maybe you just weren't hungry.

• Moe : Get those bottles filled, you mangy floor mop!

• Moe : Look what Yuk did for my friend here. Hair in such abundance that the chipmunks nest there in the mating season.

• Moe : What are ya sitting around for, ya soft-boiled egghead? Get to work!

• Moe : Our first duty is to see that you take your rightful place in the world.

  Prince Charming aka Quatro : l'm sorry, various and assorted fathers, but you won't get rid of me that easily - even if l turn out to be the emperor of China!

• Moe : Your Highness, lords, ladies and jellyspoons, it is a privilege to bring to you in person the one and only renowned prestidigitateur and entrepreneur par excellence - Quatro the Great.

• Count Oga : You are the vagabonds that are supposed to make us laugh?

  Moe : Yes, Your Honor. lf it pleases Your Honor.

  Curly-Joe , Larry : Long live Your Honor.

  Count Oga : You are hardly what l would call prepossessing to the eye.

  Moe : Thank you, Your Honor.

• Moe : Thunder! Lightning! Give it all ya got!

  Curly-Joe : Even if you haven't got it!

  Moe : Hyah! Go, boys! Ya-hoo!

  Larry : Faster!

• Moe : Behold the secret of the ages! Yuk, the recipe of which was imparted to my illustrious partner and myself by an incumbent judo expert, in gratitude for saving his life when threatened by an emotionally unstable cobra on the far-flung mud banks of the flooded Hoogli. Now, as a river, the Hoogli is only oogly. But this unique concoction not only cures all the known afflictions that confound mankind but it reduces weight, kills moths, and restores the hair!

• Curly-Joe : Are we still alive?

  Moe : Of course we're still alive. Otherwise, we wouldn't be freezing to death!

• [hawking an all-purpose "medicine" called Yuk] 

  Moe : Become the envy of your friends. Surprise your wife. You, lady, grow a beard and surprise your husband!

• Moe : You can count on us.

  Larry : Come what may.

  Curly-Joe : Ad infinitum.

• Moe : At ease, young man.

  Larry : Salutations.

  Curly-Joe : Ad infinitum.

• Moe : [to the Prince]  You're better than we ever were.

  Curly-Joe : Yeah, but he cheats... he's got brains!

• Head Cook : That last lot of onions you sent us, even a pig wouldn't eat.

  Moe : Maybe you just weren't hungry.

• Moe : Can we help you, sir?

  Prince Charming : Don't you recognize me?

  Moe : It can't be... It is, it's Quatro!

  Moe , Larry , Curly-Joe : Quatro!

  [they hug him] 

  Moe : But, we heard him say they killed you. You're not a ghost.

  Prince Charming : Well, I'm alive. A full of brought back my memory. I'm a king now.

• Moe : Food for the prisoner!

  Turnkey : You've come to the wrong cell. This man needs to be executed.

  Moe : On an empty stomach? Don't be so unpatriotic.

  Turnkey : Ahh. I don't hold with all this mollycoddling.

  [He unlocks the door, Three Stooges stops him] 

  Turnkey : Hey, how come a whole loaf of bread for just one man?

  Curly-Joe : Because of his last meal. Now, if it was me, l'd start off with oysters and white wine.

  Turnkey : Ah. What is this obnoxious concoction?

  Moe : That's... sandwich surprise!

  Larry : Yeah, for the man who eats everything.

  Turnkey : What are trying to do, poison him?

  Larry : Poison him?

  Moe : That's a finest food in the queen's kitchen.

  Turnkey : Oh.

  [he began to eat. But, Larry slaps his hand] 

  Larry : Hey, that's not for the help.

  Turnkey : Ah.

  [he resumes to eat a sandwich. But, he screams in pain with a file weapon, he grabs it] 

  Turnkey : A file! Guards!

  [the Three Stooges bonks his head with a plate] 

• [first lines] 

  Narrator : Once upon a time, in a far off land of Fortunia, there lived a noble king and his lovely young queen, who lacked but one blessing, to make their joy complete.

  [the page turned to Larry] 

  Moe : Not you, come out of there!

  [grabs and pull Larry's hair out] 

  Narrator : I beg your pardon, ladies and gentleman.

  [turning the page] 

  Narrator : The good queen longed for a child to love, whose skin would be as white as snow, her lips as red as rubies, and her hair is black as ebony.

  [the page turned to to Curly] 

  Moe : Who let you in?

  Curly-Joe : My hair used to be black.

  Moe : Out, before you get a pair of eyes to match!

  [slaps Curly out] 

  Narrator : Really, this is most-- Sorry.

  [turning the pages] 

  Narrator : The queen's prayers were answered. A child as delicate as a snowflake was born to her, and they called her Snow White.

  [turning the pages] 

  Narrator : But the king's joy was swiftly changed to grief for his frail and gentle queen was taken from him and summoned back to heaven.

  [turning the pages] 

  Narrator : The king mourned her with a broken heart; but at last, in submission to the pleading of his people, he wed again.

  [turning the pages to Queen] 

  Narrator : But, alas, the new queen's heart was cold and evil.

  Queen : Mirror mirror on the wall, who is fairest of them all?

  Magic Mirror : Only truth reflects me, indeed. No one lives as fair as thee.

  [turning the pages] 

  Narrator : But, she reckoned without Snow White, who even in childhood, showed the promise of a beauty that would one day far outshine the queen's.

  [turning the pages] 

  Narrator : Now, it so happened that there dwelt in the neighboring kingdom of Bravuria, a fearless and handsome prince.

  [turning the pages to Moe] 

  Curly-Joe : He said handsome.

  Larry : Yeah, get out of there.

  [They both grab Moe out] 

  Moe : Hold on, I'm a citizen!

  Narrator : Gentleman, I must protest.

  [dissolves to a young prince] 

  Narrator : This is Prince Charming, the hero of our story... destined to love Snow White with all his heart.

  Moe : Come back here, you! That belongs to me! Give it to me!

  Narrator : Gentleman, gentleman, not in front of royalty.

  Curly-Joe : No, you don't!

  Narrator : [sighs]  A thousand pardons, ladies and gentleman.

  Larry : Hey, wait for me!

  Narrator : And If, by now you're wondering what on earth the Three Stooges have to do with the fairy tale of Snow White, it's very simple... ln this version, we're telling the story of...

  [closes the book and reads the title] 

  Narrator : Snow White and the Three Stooges.