The Five Pennies (1959)
Danny Kaye: 'Red' Nichols
Photos
Quotes
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'Red' Nichols : Mr. Paradise, I play New Orleans style. You know, it's the newest thing. As a matter of fact I got an arrangement right here of the very number that you're doing.
Wil Paradise : Put that think away. Sit down.
'Red' Nichols : Can't you take a little friendly advice?
Wil Paradise : Put that horn in your big mouth and blow.
Tony Valani : Welcome to Paradise.
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'Red' Nichols : We didn't order any tea. Did you order it? Oh, maybe the girls ordered the tea.
Tony Valani : Red, Red, this is tea like my mother used to make for Sunday afternoons with the Mafia. 90 proof. It's in tea cups in case of a raid.
'Red' Nichols : Don't you think I know that?
Willa Stutsman : No. You ever been in a speakeasy before?
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'Red' Nichols : Where's the arrangement?
Louis Armstrong : Arrangement? Man, nobody write down Dixieland. You just let it happen.
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'Red' Nichols : [drunkenly] I'd like to inform you about one information and piece of fact, that I happen to be the second greatest cornet player in Ogden, Utah.
Louis Armstrong : North Ogden or South Ogden?
'Red' Nichols : You don't think that's much, do you? Well, my father happens to live there and he's the greatest cornet player in the whole world. Ask anybody!
Louis Armstrong : If he ain't Gabriel, you in trouble. Play it.
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Dorothy Nichols - Ages 6 to 8 : Now comes the hard part Baby. Do you suppose you could sing Five Pennies while Pops and I sing something else
'Red' Nichols : Sure, I can sing as good as he can
Dorothy Nichols - Ages 6 to 8 : Well who can't
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Wil Paradise : Okay, let's try it again.
'Red' Nichols : Can I just play a few notes here so I won't hit a clam?
Wil Paradise : Help yourself.
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Murray : Why don't you eat your wife's cheesecake?
'Red' Nichols : Why don't you get some new pickles?
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'Red' Nichols : You mean you want just me alone - to take you home all by myself with nobody else but just me?
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Willa Stutsman : Did you see the baby?
'Red' Nichols : Yes, but I still love you.
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'Red' Nichols : [singing] You can hear the rhythm of the ripples, On the side of the boat, As you sail away to dreamland...
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'Red' Nichols : Does she really look like me?
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'Red' Nichols , Willa Stutsman , Tony Valani : [singing] If you do what he do, What he do, what he do, what he does, You'll be really dancing, Come on and take a chance in, Razzmatazz: Jazz!
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'Red' Nichols : We've got it beat honey. What do they call it? Eh, companionate marriage. Eh? Carefree, gay, legal.
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'Red' Nichols : Hey, remember me? I'm the fellow who wrote a whole song for you. Which is more than Mozart ever did for his kids.
[singing]
'Red' Nichols : This little penny is to wish on, And make your wishes come true, This little penny is to dream on, And dream of all you can do...
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'Red' Nichols : [singing] Louis, what about Brahms
Louis Armstrong : He laid no bombs
'Red' Nichols : And Chopin
Louis Armstrong : Solid man, And Bach, that great old massa
'Red' Nichols : Yeah, that great old massa, Was a Gasser
Louis Armstrong : Yes but Mozart the most with all he has
'Red' Nichols : With the symphonies and operas, And all that jazz, When the saints go marchin' in
Louis Armstrong : Do you dig Rachmaninoff?
'Red' Nichols : On and off
Louis Armstrong : Rimsky?
'Red' Nichols : Hmm, of course-ikoff, Ravel and Gustav Mahler
Louis Armstrong : Yeah, but don't forget Fats Waller
'Red' Nichols : I wouldn't do that, Liszt has a twist that you can't resist
Louis Armstrong : Yeah, yeah, Put Liszt on that list.
'Red' Nichols : When the saints go marchin' in
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'Red' Nichols : Come on. Aren't we pals? Huh? Blood brothers? Blood brothers of the Mohawk, Blackfoot, Iroquois, Hiawatha tribe? Alakazam kazam?
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Louis Armstrong : [singing] Frère Jacques, Frère Jacque, Massenet and Bizet, Massenet and Bizet
'Red' Nichols : Offenbach, Offenbach
Louis Armstrong : Massanet and Bizet, Massenet and Bizet
'Red' Nichols : Often, Offenbach...
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'Red' Nichols : [singing] There's Saint-Saens
Louis Armstrong : Saint-Saens c'est bon
'Red' Nichols : And Georges Bizet
Louis Armstrong : Très, très Bizet
'Red' Nichols : Vieuxtemps, Suppé, Massenet
'Red' Nichols : And Offenbach...
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'Red' Nichols : [singing] How about Wagner?
Louis Armstrong : Devout!
'Red' Nichols : And Haydn?
Louis Armstrong : Who?
'Red' Nichols : Joseph Haydn.
Louis Armstrong : Who?
'Red' Nichols : Haydn!
Louis Armstrong : Well, let him come out
'Red' Nichols : Paganini
Louis Armstrong : Rossini
'Red' Nichols : Toscanini
Louis Armstrong : Puccini
'Red' Nichols : Khachaturian
Louis Armstrong : Gesundheit
'Red' Nichols : Thank you, And what's his name?
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'Red' Nichols : I heard about the new contract you signed, extending the tour.
Willa Stutsman : It's a real fat deal honey. We're going to be eating high off the hog. Mammy, won't have to go barefoot no mo'.
[pats Willa's behind]
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'Red' Nichols : Idiotville, USA, and The Brown Derby is the capital.
Willa Stutsman : You promised for our anniversary you'd take me anywhere I wanted to go.
'Red' Nichols : Yeah, I know.
Willa Stutsman : It's a long time since we ever went out.
Bob Hope - Leaving Brown Derby Restaurant : [to the maitre d' as he walks out] Good night.
Willa Stutsman : Look, isn't that Bob Hope?
'Red' Nichols : Yeah, he can't afford to eat here, either.
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'Red' Nichols : Who says she's got to go to bed when other kids go to bed and get up when they get up?
Willa Stutsman : I say. I want her to get up when other kids get up, at 7:30 in the morning, have oatmeal and orange juice and Shredded Wheat. Honestly, she thinks breakfast is black coffee and an aspirin.
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'Red' Nichols : Tonight I sat up in the club and Louis Armstrong said I was the greatest horn in the country. Louis Armstrong - that's the mahatma of jazz, the supreme court of cats. Well, I'll tell you a little secret. I'm not the greatest horn in the country. He is. But in a little while, maybe I could be.
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'Red' Nichols : We can't do Schnitzelbank. The last time we did Schnitzelbank, I beat you by two choruses and a half a Schnitz.
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'Red' Nichols : So long, slaves.
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'Red' Nichols : It's a great future you and Tony figured out for me. Hotlips Nichols, at my age.
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Willa Stutsman : Well, what happened to the wonderful lunatic I married?
'Red' Nichols : That was ages ago.
Willa Stutsman : I don't know if it'll be good, bad, or terrible, and I don't think that really matters. I just want to get you out of that shipyard before we lose the war. I'm beginning to think I've lost mine. You can sleep in that sandwich Tonight. Pull the rye bread over you.