- [last lines]
- Porky Watkins: Er, tell me, Holmes - at what school did you learn to be a detective?
- Dorlock Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watkins, elementary.
- Porky Watkins: Name? Speak up, old boy.
- Shropshire Slasher: Shropshire Slasher.
- Porky Watkins: Occupation?
- Shropshire Slasher: Shropshire Slasher.
- [as Watkins opens the door, the telegram boy falls]
- Dorlock Holmes: Don't touch that body! A clear case of curare poisoning of one of Her Majesty's cold cream guards.
- Telegram Boy: [Gets up] Telegram. You'd best have that step fixed, Gov'nor!
- Dorlock Holmes: Just for that, you receive no gratuity.
- Dorlock Holmes: Lady Asthabula, the last time we met was at Ascot, was it not? Ascot not.
- [as he kisses her hand, he takes her finger prints]
- Dorlock Holmes: Oh, you're still a fine figure of a woman.
- [Examines fingerprints]
- Dorlock Holmes: Egad! These look like a woman's fingerprints. Could it be possible that the Shropshire Slasher is really a...
- Woman: Oh, Alfie, this cove's annoying me.
- Alfie: [At the dart board] Oh, is he, now?
- Dorlock Holmes: Oho! Alfie, is it? Where was you on the night of the...
- [Is pelted with darts]
- Dorlock Holmes: Well, he has eliminated him as a suspect.
- Shropshire Slasher: I told the nice gen'lman I'd give meself up now, mother.
- Shropshire Slasher's Mother: You always was a good boy, Slasher.
- Dorlock Holmes: Watkins, in a moment there'll be a knock at the door heralding the start of the case of the Shropshire Slasher. Answer it. My pants are caught in a nail.
- Dorlock Holmes: All right, Watkins. Enough of your bumbling.
- Porky Watkins: B-Bumbling upsets Holmes no end.
- Shropshire Slasher's Mother: Care to buy some pretty pretties for your doxie, Gov'nor?
- Dorlock Holmes: That does it! I'm gonna haul you in. Hawking dandelions without a license.
- Shropshire Slasher: Mother!
- Dorlock Holmes: Mother? Mother? Really?
- [Shropshire Slasher beats up Holmes]
- Porky Watkins: N-now look, old boy. H-How's about returning to prison? There's a good chap.
- Shropshire Slasher: Yes, sir. I want to do what's right, I do.