- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: If you're a Jones, you most coitainly are not related to John Paul Jones 'cause you got no heart, no courage, no miles, no scruples. You ain't even got infinitesimal attitude! In words of one syllable -- you're a coward.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Oh, you gotta admit, Chief -- cowards live a lot longer.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: I just can't imagine what an extinguished-lookin' gentleman like that would want with a moron like you.
- H. Stuyvesant Jones: What are you doing to that car?
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: I'm... I'm fixing the car so the poor sap that owns it won't know I wrecked it.
- H. Stuyvesant Jones: I'M the poor sap who owns it!
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Oh, goodbye, Mr. Poor Sap! Gotta go now!
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Me, not a blue blood? Gimme a razor blade, I'll prove it.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: [to Slip] I'd like to see for myself.