I Love Melvin (1953)

Allyn Joslyn: Frank Schneider

Quotes 

• Melvin : [Extending his hand]  Oh, I'm Melvin Hoover, "Look."

  Mr. Schneider : Look at what?

• Mr. Schneider : Of all the ridiculous--Why is he taking pictures in the bathroom?

  Judy : Pops, it's my career!

  Mr. Schneider : In the bathroom?

  Mrs. Schneider : It's been going on all day. I didn't know what to do.

• Mr. Schneider : You know, that fella's got maybe a thousand pictures of you. What's he doing with 'em, papering a wall?

• Mr. Schneider : Have some food!

  Melvin : No, thanks, not on an empty stomach.

• Mr. Prouty : Are you drunk, Mr. Schneider?

  Mr. Schneider : Forget that "Schneider" bit! I've just been to court changing my name to "LeRoy"!

  Mr. Prouty : Splendid. Are you drunk, Mr. LeRoy?

• Judy : Don't hurt Melvin!

  Mr. Schneider : Hurt him! I'll rip his ears off!

• Mr. Schneider : [surreptitiously watching Judy in a long kiss with Melvin outside the door]  What is this--a time exposure?

• Mrs. Schneider : You hardly ever see Harry any more.

  Judy : Well, I have fun with Melvin. Much more than I have with Harry!

  Mr. Schneider : Fun? What's that got to do with it? I never had any fun with your mother. But, I always kept her nicely.

• Mr. Schneider : I'd certainly like to see my daughter settle down, instead of playing a football on Broadway.

• Judy : Let's not talk about it.

  Mr. Schneider : Fine. Great solution for everything: don't talk about it.

• Harry Flack : So, this is how it goes: one fella says to the other fellow, "It's raining cats and dogs!" And the other fella says, "I know, I just stepped in a poodle."--Well, that's it.

  Mr. Schneider : Oh?

  Harry Flack : It's a play on the word poodle. Poodle. Puddle. Puddle. Poodle.

  Mr. Schneider : Oh? Oh! Sure! Very funny, Harry!