- Elder Bixby: Violence is not our creed.
- Walter 'Yukon' Burns: Yeah, I know. And I believe in turning the other cheek... but you just run out of cheeks. It's time to start growing some religious muscle.
- Judge Crenshaw: [Watching the fire destroy the claims building] This is the most satisfying act of God I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing.
- Walter 'Yukon' Burns: [Referring to the giant sequioas] Biggest, boldest things in the whole world!
- Walter 'Yukon' Burns: [to Jim] Make you feel kinda small?
- Jim Fallon: Nope... big! I'm the one that's gonna knock 'em down!
- Alicia Chadwick: Hello! Right on time!
- Jim Fallon: Sister Chadwick! Thou hastn't been out of my thoughts even a minute!
- Alicia Chadwick: [to both Jim and Yukon] I hope you're both hungry.
- Jim Fallon: I look forward to thy home-cooking!
- Alicia Chadwick: Then it will please thee to know thou shalt help with the washing of the dishes - to make thee feel that our home is thine.
- Walter 'Yukon' Burns: Widow Chadwick and these folks don't want these trees touched at any price.
- Jim Fallon: She's a widow huh?
- Walter 'Yukon' Burns: What's the difference?
- Jim Fallon: When you grow up, I'll explain it to you.
- Alicia Chadwick: [Speaking about Jim] Men have been known to change.
- Walter 'Yukon' Burns: Oh, lady, even I have been given up by women reformers! The biggest mistake a woman can make is to pick the wrong man and try to make him right. Why don't you go off somewhere and have a good cry and forget him?
- Judge Crenshaw: Mr. Burns, I've heard you were an honest man and good with a gun. But I also heard you confessed to weakness for liquor, cards and women.
- Walter 'Yukon' Burns: Not women, your Honor. They ain't for the weak.
- Daisy Fisher: What is this, a hotel or a nursery?
- Alicia Chadwick: A baby was just born here, thanks to Jim.
- Daisy Fisher: Congratulations...
- Jim Fallon: What do you mean "thanks to Jim"?
- Daisy Fisher: I'd better get out of here. It might be catching.
- Jim Fallon: [Referring to Alicia] What a gal!
- Walter 'Yukon' Burns: You chigger-pickin' Don Juan! You just try pitchin' hay with her, and I'll shoot that lump you call a head right from under your cap!
- prologue: In 1900 the Congress of the United States passed a law which made a young man in Wisconsin decide to prove - that money growas on trees.
- Jim Fallon: [Noticing the group of Quaker women with their distinctive attire] What are they all dressed up for?
- Frenchy LeCroix: There's a hallelujah colony around here... soul savers... rigid and religious.
- Jim Fallon: [Referring to Alicia] The dark-haired one can save my soul anytime.
- Gray: [to Jim] None of these religious colonists ever bother to accumulate much cash.
- Alicia Chadwick: There's no need to.
- Walter 'Yukon' Burns: You see, Jim, these are wonderful folks. They'll give yuh everything they got. If they haven't got anything to give you, they'll say a prayer for you.
- Walter 'Yukon' Burns: You're gettin' in a rut, Jim. You'd better look out, and when a rut becomes deep enough, it becomes a grave... and you gotta couple partners likely to put you in it.
- Elder Bixby: [to Jim] The giant sequoias are more than trees, friend. They are the everlasting sign of our Creator's work... 4000 years old... as old as the Book and the Faith.
- Daisy Fisher: [to Jim about Alicia] Lucky for you my father never owned a shotgun - what about hers?