Show Boat (1951)

Joe E. Brown: Cap'n Andy Hawks

Quotes 

• Cap'n Andy Hawks : It's Saturday night again!

  [He slaps Parthy affectionately on her rear end] 

  Parthy : Oh! It's Wednesday night and don't you strike me!

  Cap'n Andy Hawks : It's Saturday night forever!

  Parthy : Yes, and Fourth of July... and Christmas... and

  [imitating Cap'n Andy when he celebrates New Year's Eve] 

  Parthy : Hap - - -py New Year!

• Cap'n Andy Hawks : (hearing of Magnolia's engagement to Ravenal) Son, I hope it's not Saturday night one minute, with a cold Monday morning to follow. Whatever happens, Nollie, always remember to smile.

• Cap'n Andy Hawks : I'm glad to see everybody so chipper this mornin'. Well, that's the spirit of this business! High wind or high water, the show must go on.

• Cap'n Andy Hawks : I guess you cut quite a figure before the footlights.

• Cap'n Andy Hawks : Patience, Parthy. Patience! You didn't know I used to have a magic deck, did you?

• Cap'n Andy Hawks : Come aboard, young fella. Step lively!

• New Year's Eve Cutie : You wear the trousers, eh, buster?

  Cap'n Andy Hawks : I wouldn't look good in skirts, would I?

• Headwaiter : Champagne, sir?

  Cap'n Andy Hawks : Champagne? Right! Fill the scuppers. Hap-py New Year!

• Cap'n Andy Hawks : Roll the wheel, Windy!

• Sheriff Ike Vallon : Captain Hawks I got some unpleasant news for you. You got a miscegenation piece aboard.

  Cap'n Andy Hawks : Why? Why, I don't know anything.

  Sheriff Ike Vallon : You know what I mean, Captain. A case of a negro woman married to white man. A criminal offense in this state. The name of the white man is Steve Baker. The name of the negress - Julie LaVerne.

• Cap'n Andy Hawks : You've met my wife, I believe.

  Gaylord Ravenal : A repeated pleasure, Mrs. Hawks.

  Cap'n Andy Hawks : And my daughter, Magnolia.

  Gaylord Ravenal : Only in make believe.

• Parthy : [observing a rehearsal of a love scene with a kiss between Gaylord and Magnolia]  Just a minute, young man, we won't have any of that. We'll have none of your tricks on or *off* the stage.

  Cap'n Andy Hawks : But, Parthy, I thought that was kinda natural.

  Parthy : Nature isn't necessary in a play actin' house, especially that kind. Play actin' is *just* make believe.

• Cap'n Andy Hawks : Take it from me, I gotta sixth sense about these things. You two are goin' over like floodwaters. Magnolia Hawks and Gaylord Revenal are gonna be the *hit* of the river!