At War with the Army (1950)

Jerry Lewis: Pfc. Alvin Korwin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Pfc. Alvin Korwin : [singing]  The Navy gets the gravy but the army gets the beans!

• Pfc. Alvin Korwin : I'm warning you, you're driving me crazy.

  1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli : That's no drive, that's a short putt!

• Pfc. Alvin Korwin : Remember that song we wrote together?

  1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli : Yeah, what about it?

  Pfc. Alvin Korwin : We got a telegram from the music publisher and he wants us to put the song on a record and send it to him right away.

  1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli : Go ahead and make a record of it.

  Pfc. Alvin Korwin : No, I want you should record it.

  1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli : Get Bing Crosby.

  Pfc. Alvin Korwin : I like you better.

• Pfc. Alvin Korwin : Pick it up.

  1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli : Pick what up?

  Pfc. Alvin Korwin : [sternly]  Pick up the bag, *private*!

  [Vic picks up Korwin's bag, they look at each other and smile, reaches for it] 

  Pfc. Alvin Korwin : I'll take the bag.

• 1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli : [annoyed]  Alright alright!

  Pfc. Alvin Korwin : [mocking]  Alright, alright! Big man! A couple of stinkin' stripes, big deal!

  1st Sgt. Vic Puccinelli : Go home and wash your face!

  Pfc. Alvin Korwin : [mocking]  Go home and wash your face! Look at him; General Delivery.

• Pfc. Alvin Korwin : Boy, if I ever get overseas, the first thing I'm gonna do is surrender. A concentration camp's gotta be better than this.