Leslie Denison: Judge, First Weasel
Quotes
-
Judge : The witness may testify in his own words.
Cyril Proudbottom : [in court] Right-o, guv'nor; now, I'll give you the facts of the case. For when Toady escaped from his boudoir, he'd come headin' straight for my place. Soon we was off down the 'ighway but hadn't gone far, I confess, when all of a sudden with a rush and a roar, something passed like the London Express. It was big, it was red, it was beautiful: a motorcar! Hee, a bit of alright; Toady was transfixed with, uh, rapture. You could tell it was love at first sight. The motor pulled up to a tavern wherein was located a bar and we watched while some tough-looking weasels got out of that lovely red car. Now weasels, I know, are deceitful and not to be trusted at all... but how I could know they'd stolen that car? I didn't have no crystal ball. And the guv'nor, he's not one to dally, he'd made up his mind like a flash, he says "try it for size, my good Cyril, while I see what they'll take for it, cash!" So into the tavern he saunters, where the barman was back at the bar. And he said, "Cheerio, tavern-keeper! Who's the owner of that, uh, hot-looking car?" The barman, a codger named, uh, Winky, leaned over the bar and said "Why?" The guv'nor answered "That car must be mine! Whatever the price is, I'll buy!" But Toad found he hadn't no money... so he promptly offered a trade; the weasels appeared to be willin', in a moment, the bargain was made. Then Toady drawed up a paper with almost incredible speed and he called on ol' Winky to, uh, pop over and witness the deed. Now the guv'nor's not a bit stingy, he never does anything small: the weasels gave him the red motorcar, heh, and he gave the weasels... Toad Hall!
