Basil Rathbone: Narrating the Story of Mr. Toad, Policeman
Quotes
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[first lines]
Narrator : If you were asked to choose the most fabulous character in English literature, who would it be? Robin Hood? King Arthur? Becky Sharp? Sherlock Holmes? Oliver Twist, perhaps? Well, any one of them would be an excellent choice. Still, for the most fabulous character of all, I would nominate... a toad - J. Thaddeus Toad, Esq. Have you ever met him? You'll find his story in this delightful little book, "The Wind In the Willows". Toad, you might say, was the one disturbing element: incurable adventurer, mad, reckless, tried everything, positive mania for fads, and he never countered the cost. Had a host affair with friends, of course, but there were only three who had his best interests at heart. One was a badger, MacBadger. Another was a water rat; a bit stuffy, perhaps, but really a fine fellow. And a mole; gentle creature, kind and sympathetic.
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[while trying to get Toad Hall in order, MacBadger gets interrupted by two knocks on the door, the second one, thankfully, from Rat and Mole]
Angus MacBadger : Oh, it's you, Rat. And Mole, too. Thank goodness, lads. You've come at last.
[they go into Toad Hall]
Narrator : Poor MacBadger, he'd reach the end of his rope, or as he said himself...
Angus MacBadger : I'm practically a nervous wreck.
Rat : I say, MacBadger, what seems to be the trouble?
Angus MacBadger : [upset] Something's got to be done about Toad! This time, he is goin' too far!
Mole : But he promised us.
Angus MacBadger : Promises? Ha! What good are his promises when these wild manias take him? Now look, you're his closest friends, are you not?
Rat : Yes.
Mole : Very dear friends.
Angus MacBadger : Then, lads, you've got to find Toad and stop him.
Rat : What's he doing?
Angus MacBadger : He's got a new mania. He's rampagin' about the county in a canary yellow gypsy cart with a horse named Cyril.
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[It's the middle of the night and Toad is escaping from his room]
Narrator : Now, there was only one problem with Ratty's cure for motormania... it didn't work.
[Toad climbs down a line of blankets tied together]
Narrator : You see, Toad was far too clever and, at the moment, completely mad. He was determined to get a motorcar, if he had to beg, borrow or...
[Next frame is a shot of a newspaper stating that Toad was arrested for driving in a stolen motorcar]
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[Toad is acting like a motorcar. His friends blame it on his mania for cars and grab him and drag him home]
Narrator : Mania, that's it. That's what it was, a positive mania. No telling where it would end, either; it may linger for months, and with Toad Hall at stake.
[Toad's friends have successfully escorted him to his room in his home at Toad Hall]
Narrator : Well, they had no choice. There was only one thing to do: lock the poor chap in his chamber and keep him there until the poison worked out of his system.
[Rat and Mole dress Toad in his nightclothes and throw water over him to stop his acting like a car]
Mole : [after Toad stops] That's better.
Rat : [to Toad] And you can't escape, you know. Simply no use trying.
[They shut the door and lock it. Toad pounds on the door and tugs on it, trying to open it]
Mr. Toad : Let me outta here! Open up! Open up, I say! Please, Ratty, Moley, open the door!
Narrator : Now, of course, playing jailer to one's dearest friend wasn't much of an enjoyable experience. In fact, Moley weakened right at the start and wanted to call it quits, but Ratty said, "No. Definitely not." This time they must be firm. After all, it wasn't just a matter of saving Toad from himself. There was MacBadger to consider, and Toad Hall and all that it stood for.
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[Toad had been found guilty of stealing the motorcar, a crime he never committed]
Narrator : News of Toad's disgrace rocked the nation. It seemed the courts were trying to make an example of him. Of course, his friends tried to help, but they were blocked at every turn. Why, they must have reopened the case a dozen times. They appealed to this court, that court, any court, but the decision stood: the case of J. Thaddeus Toad was closed.
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Prison Guard : Being as it's Christmas, you're allowed a visitor. Your grandma's here.
Mr. Toad : [confused] Grandma?
[a tall figure in a pink dress and a veiled cap glides into Toad's cell]
Cyril Proudbottom : Merry Christmas, sonny! Granny wouldn't forget her little Toady boy!
[the figure lifts the veil. It's Cyril]
Mr. Toad : Cyril?
Cyril Proudbottom : Shhhh!
[the guard closes the door. Toad sinks into a sitting position, buries his face in his hands and sobs]
Mr. Toad : Oh, Cyril!
Cyril Proudbottom : Look, Christmas gift.
[He presents a small pink dress and off-white cap identical to the one he's wearing, draped over his hoof]
Mr. Toad : W... w-w-what is it?
Cyril Proudbottom : Don't you get it? A disguise. Now all you've got to do is...
[he puts the dress and cap on Toad]
Cyril Proudbottom : ... you just put on this natty little costume and...
[he whispers in Toad's ear what to do; Toad smiles and his eyes go wild as he listens]
Narrator : Alas, the good intentions. Toad was incurable. One whispered word, and all his high resolve vanished in the mad whirl of this new adventure, this new mania: escape!
[the next scene shows Toad breaking jail]
