Brideless Groom (1947)

Moe Howard: Moe Howard

Photos 

Quotes 

• Moe : Shut up and listen. Do you remember your Uncle Caleb?

  Shemp : Do I? Why, that old tightwad! He'd steal flies from a blind spider!

  Moe : But, Shemp, he's...

  Shemp : He's a louse and a weasel!

  Moe : Yeah? Well, he just died and left you $500,000 bucks.

  Shemp : Just like that old skinflint!

  [gasps] 

  Shemp : $500,000 bucks?

  [begins to cry] 

  Shemp : Poor old Uncle Caleb! Like I was sayin', he was a swell guy, giving me the shirt off his back and throwing the buttons too.

• Shemp : [Moe enters and opens the door in Shemp's face] 

  [to Moe] 

  Shemp : I oughta...

  Moe : [to Shemp]  You oughta what?

  Shemp : I oughta be a little more careful.

• Moe : You know any girls?

  Shemp : [pulls a black book out of his pocket]  I got a lot of numbers, but haven't had much luck with them lately.

  Moe : Well, you can't get killed for trying. Where's a phone?

  Shemp : [turns around and points]  There's a booth down the hall.

  Moe : [grabs Shemp's hair and pulls him towards the door before he can finish his sentence]  Well, what are we waiting for?

• Larry : [after the phone booth's walls fall and Moe and Shemp fall out of it] 

  [to Moe] 

  Larry : What happened?

  Moe : That's what I want to know.

• Moe : [opens a top drawer, looks, then to Shemp]  Say, where are the towels?

  Shemp : In the bottom drawer.

  Moe : [shakes his head, then opens the bottom drawer, and pulls out a towel]  Ah, here we are.

  [stands straight up, and puts his head through the bottom of the still open top drawer. He turns around slightly groggy and walks towards Shemp with the drawer still around him] 

  Larry : [to Moe, laughing]  Boy, you sure look funny wearing a buster brown collar.

  Moe : [handing Larry the towel]  Hold that.

  [Larry takes it, then Moe removes the drawer and puts it over Larry] 

  Moe : You do too!

• Moe : Wait a minute. You wouldn't hit a lady with that.

  [grabs an object and hands it to Larry] 

  Moe : Use this. It's bigger.

• Shemp : [admiring self in mirror]  Oh, there I am, and as pretty as a picture!

  Moe : [with a slap to Shemp]  Yeah, of an ape!

• Moe : [caught in a bear trap]  Larry, an octopus has got me!

• Larry : [removing a bear trap from Moe]  How are you?

  Moe : How...

  [slapping him] 

  Moe : What do you mean how am I?

• Moe : Those dames you phoned this morning found out about the 500 grand in the papers. Come on, pal, we gotta make this quick.

  J.M. Benton, Justice of the Peace : Uh, have you got the ring?

  Shemp : Why certainly. Certainly, I got it.

  [he drops it as he takes it out of his coat pocket] 

  Shemp : Oop.

  Moe : It went in the piano.

  [going over to look] 

  Moe : Get it. You see anything?

  Shemp : Yeah. Wires.

  [Moe mushes his head down] 

  Shemp : Listen, you...

  Moe : What?

  Shemp : You know what? I think the piano's out of tune.

• Shemp : Shemp: "All I wanted to do was get married."

  Miss Fanny Dinkelmeyer : Miss Dinklemeyer: "Married? Oh, Professor! This is so sudden."

  Moe : Moe: "You mean you'd really marry him?"

  Miss Fanny Dinkelmeyer : Miss Dinklemeyer: "Why, yes! He's my little old dreamboat."

  Shemp : Shemp: "Your little dreamboat is sailing. Hoot! Hoot!"