Yolanda and the Thief (1945)

Fred Astaire: Johnny Parkson Riggs

Photos 

Quotes 

• Johnny Parkson Riggs : This isn't a country. It's a cemetery with a train running through it.

• Victor Budlow Trout : Johnny, do you realize the penalty for impersonating an angel?

  Johnny Parkson Riggs : No, what is it?

  Victor Budlow Trout : Well, it's - it's - pretty severe.

• Johnny Parkson Riggs : You didn't tell anybody I was your guardian angel, did you?

  Yolanda Aquaviva : Not exactly. All I said was that you weren't a real man. My aunt doesn't believe me.

  Johnny Parkson Riggs : I'm glad of that. I'd rather it didn't get around.

• Johnny Parkson Riggs : I'm afraid you made a mistake.

  Policeman : Oh no, Señor, no mistake. We have here your descriptions.

  Victor Budlow Trout : It's a mistake.

  [Motioning to himself and Johnny.] 

  Victor Budlow Trout : We don't look like this.

• Victor Budlow Trout : Must be awfully rich, eh? Millionaire, would you say?

  Train Steward : Very rich, señor. As you Americans say: filthy.

  Victor Budlow Trout : Yes. Well, what sort of a chap is this filthy Aquaviva? I mean, how does one contact him? Has he got any vices? Hobbies? Does he play gin rummy?

  Johnny Parkson Riggs : Don't worry, Junior, Mr. Aquaviva will probably meet you at the station and hand you a blank check.

• Victor Budlow Trout : Johnny, this place isn't so bad. In fact, it's bursting with golden opportunity. Virgin territory. New fields to conquer! And two gladiators riding toward the horizon with swords upraised. Wait a minute, don't forget the nicest part: there are no extradition laws here. U.S. police can't touch us.

  Johnny Parkson Riggs : You got a point there.

• Victor Budlow Trout : If you're thinking what you're thinking, my advice is forget it!

  Johnny Parkson Riggs : My advice is never to take your advice.

• Victor Budlow Trout : When you're hungry here, you don't need money. You just pick your fruit from a tree.

  [picks an orange from a fruit stand] 

  Victor Budlow Trout : This is the Garden of Eden, my boy.

  Fruit Vendor : Yes, a dollar, por favor.

  [Johnny pays the Fruit Vendor] 

  Fruit Vendor : Gracias, señor.

  Johnny Parkson Riggs : Listen, Adam, when your trees begin to bear champagne, caviar, and well-tailored suits, I'll string along with you. In the meantime, let's do it my way, huh?

• Johnny Parkson Riggs : There's no time to lose. Every lose crook in the business will be buzzing around this pot of honey.

• Johnny Parkson Riggs : I can't quite make out what his angle is. But, he's the most dangerous of all. He's got an honest face.

• Johnny Parkson Riggs : You have trouble about money. I shall relieve you of it - the trouble I mean. But, I must have absolute, unquestioning obedience.

  Yolanda Aquaviva : Oh, I shall do whatever you tell me.

• Johnny Parkson Riggs : We try to keep our work on a lofty plain. We don't do mind-reading or tell fortunes. Heaven is not a gypsy tearoom!

• Johnny Parkson Riggs : Think only of the things that make you happy, not those that make you sad. Yolanda, do you want to make me happy?

• Johnny Parkson Riggs : Life is not a succession of moonlight and music. And every night is not a fiesta. We must take it as it comes.

• Yolanda Aquaviva : Mr. Brown, this is my aunt.

  Johnny Parkson Riggs : Aunt? Why, you mean your sister.

  Aunt Amarilla : Oh, Mr. Brown, you're an angel.

  Johnny Parkson Riggs : Yes, didn't you know?

• Johnny Parkson Riggs : But she knows I'm a crook. The whole thing is impossible.

  Mr. Candle : Young man, sometimes you try my patience. I've just made a flood, washed out a bridge, caused a train to turn back, and you have the nerve to sit there and tell me that something is impossible.

• Johnny Parkson Riggs : [Pushing the taxi]  We've traveled five miles and I've yet to get in the cab.

• Yolanda Aquaviva : Oh, no, I'm afraid Mr. Brown wouldn't be interested in that sort of thing, would you?

  Johnny Parkson Riggs : No, nothing interests me less than worldly goods.

• Johnny Parkson Riggs : What're you doing, having a nightmare?

  Victor Budlow Trout : Me? I was just about to float you back form wherever you were. When you have a nightmare, you sure keep busy.

  Johnny Parkson Riggs : Oh! Oh what a jam I was in.

• Johnny Parkson Riggs : How much do you want for us to push you back to town?

  Taxi Driver : I make you a flat rate.