G.I. Honeymoon (1945) Poster

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7/10
As Henry Wadsworth Poe (sic) would say, this is a funny mixed up comedy
SimonJack25 July 2020
This Monogram Pictures film may be the last movie from a Poverty Row studio to receive an Academy Award nomination. It got an Oscar mention in 1945 for best music. It was very deserving, because the scoring is very good.

"G.I. Honeymoon" came out in April 1945 and one month later, World War II in Europe was over. The war in the Pacific would end less than four months later. But the Allies had learned from the Battle of the Bulge (Dec. 1944-Jan. 1945) not to be presumptuous. There are some idioms appropriate for that term (i.e., counting chickens before they hatch, etc.).

So, there's still a war going on and military training taking place in this movie. Gale Storm's Ann Gordon and Peter Cookson's Lt. Robert Gordon are getting married before he ships out to a new assignment. But, when orders come right at the start of their ceremony in the East, pandemonium breaks out. They manage to "get hitched," just before he has to catch his train to the West Coast, and Ann decides to follow on the train to be with her husband. Thus begins an adventure in which the new bride fenagles various situations to get a drawing room on the train for the couple, an apartment in the Nevada town by the Army post, and more.

The story has a subplot that involves a gambling joint owner, Ace Renaldo, played by Jerome Cowan. He is the dupe of Ann's histrionic methods and hatches a plan to get even with her.

The screenplay and production show signs of less than the top studio abilities. But this film has some very good comedy. And a very clear moral lesson for Ann. Renaldo's sidekick, Blubber Malloy (played by Frank Jenks), tells Ann that her sneaky methods bring to mind "the immortal words of that great poet, Edgar Allen Longfellow (sic) - 'Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive,' tch, tch, tch."

Here are some more favorite lines.

Mrs. Barton, "Oh, what do we do now? I've never been so confused in all my life." Lavinia Thorndyke, "Oh, yes, you have, Mimi - at your own wedding. Ann, you should've seen her - oh, well, of course you couldn't."

Telegram Messenger, "Hold everything! If it ain't done, don't do it!"

Ann Gordon, "I beg your pardon." Train conductor, "We haven't got any." Ann, "Haven't got any what?" Conductor, "Whatever you were going to ask for. We haven't got any drawing rooms. We haven't got any compartments. We haven't got any berths. We haven't got any seats. There isn't even any room in the washroom for you. Ain't even enough room for me to walk through the train."

Bob rings the doorbell and Ann opens it to find him standing in fatigues with a full field pack, after a 37-mile hike. He collapses, and Ann says, "But, darling, this is all wrong. You're supposed to carry me over the threshold."

Lavinia Thorndyke, "So, this is the home with the happy little bride?" Jonas (played by Earle Hodgins)," Yeah, Vinnie, you know, there ain't anything in the world like a happy married life. It's the only thing. Marriage is a great institution." Lavinia, "Yeah, but who wants to live in an institution."

Lt. Bob Gordon, "And, remember this, fella -- when you get the idea that you're smart and everybody else is dumb. The dumb ones might turn out to be smarter than the smart ones who are really dumb. Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to figure that one out."
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