- Bolling: Yeah, and you admit exchanging blows with him.
- Nancy Troy: There was no exchange. Only two blows were struck. He struck my husband. My husband struck the floor.
- Jeff Troy: You don't want a husband who's a coward, do you?
- Nancy Troy: I'm not particular. I just want a husband!
- Nancy Troy: What are you doing?
- Jeff Troy: Nothing.
- Nancy Troy: You're awful quiet!
- Jeff Troy: That's 'cause I'm doing nothing.
- Bolling: [looking at the books on the library shelf and reading the titles] Hey, look here. "Murder in the Laundry," "Murder in the Post Office," "Murder on the Wharf," "Murder in the Chop Suey Restaurant!" Somebody's been reading up on murder.
- Inspector Hankins: [picking up on of the books] "Murder in the Laundry" by Jeffrey Yort.
- Inspector Hankins: [accusatorily to Jeff] You said you were a novelist. You didn't by chance... uh?
- Jeff Troy: Yeah, yeah, I wrote every one of them.
- Jeff Troy: [showing him the dust jacket] Here, here! "Jeffrey Yort." That's my name spelled backward. T-R-O-Y... Y-O-R-T... Y-O-R-T... T-R-O-Y. Do you get it?
- Bolling: Well, what more do we need, Inspector? This guy's got murder on the brain.
- Jeff Troy: "Murder on the Brain!" Hey, that's a swell title!
- Inspector Hankins: Didn't you write a book called "Murder on the Terrace"?
- Jeff Troy: Yeah, it's right here. How'd you like it?
- Inspector Hankins: Well, as far as I can remember, it's the kind of a detective story that knits.
- Jeff Troy: Knits? Oh, yes, I know what you mean. It's all knitted together tight, all the clues fall in place, eh?
- Inspector Hankins: No, I mean knits... it knits...
- Inspector Hankins: [gesturing with his hands] K-N-I-T-S. You spell that backward too.
- Jeff Troy: K-N-I-T-S... S-T-I-N...
- Jeff Troy: [grimacing as he finally realizes he's being ridiculed] Kuh!
- Eddie Turner: Mr. Troy, your wife tells me you're a novelist.
- Jeff Troy: That's odd. She never told me.
- Nancy Troy: Oh, darling. I don't tell you everything.
- Jeff Troy: You wait here.
- Nancy Troy: Oh, no. If you're going to be murdered, I'm going to be murdered too.
- Jeff Troy: Stop talking about murder.
- Post office client: I know where I live. Just give me three one-cent stamps, please.
- Nancy Troy: [hearing what sounds like a scream in the hall] Well, Jeff, aren't you going to go see what that was?
- Jeff Troy: I don't have to find out. I know what it was. Somebody screamed.
- Jeff Troy: [after another scream] See, what did I tell you?
- Pat Murphy: Inspector, why don't you let me take this guy down to headquarters where we can have a nice quiet talk?
- Jeff Troy: Take me down to headquarters, eh? Oh! Threatening me with third degree, eh? Well, let me tell you something - the police are not allowed to use a rubber hose on anyone these days.
- Pat Murphy: Can't we?
- Inspector Hankins: No rubber.
- Nancy Troy: For years I thought I was married to a moody genius. Now I discover you're just a plain fool.
- [Nancy sees a man standing menacingly behind Jeff with a knife in his hand, Jeff letting out a long, drawn-out moan]
- Jeff Troy: If you're going to sing, darling, do it out loud!
- Jeff Troy: [coming upon the inspector] Ah... Can, uh, I be of any help, Inspector?
- Inspector Hankins: Offhand, I'd say no.
- Electrician: That's 30 for tonight.
- [knocks on door]
- Nancy Troy: Who is it?
- Electrician: It's the electrician.
- Nancy Troy: How do I know you're an electrician?
- Electrician: [to himself] How does she know I'm the electrician? Turn on your light switch.
- Nancy Troy: Oh.
- [picks up oil lamp, carries it over to wall, flicks switch]
- Nancy Troy: The lights are on. I don't need an electrician.