Pinocchio (1940)

Walter Catlett: J. Worthington Foulfellow

Photos 

Quotes 

• Foulfellow : [he and Gideon have "diagnosed" Pinocchio's "condition"]  My boy, you are *allergic.*

  Pinocchio : Allergic?

  Foulfellow : Yes, and there is only one cure: a vacation on Pleasure Island!

  Pinocchio : Pleasure Island?

  Foulfellow : Yes!

  [ge and Gideon dance] 

  Foulfellow : That happy land of carefree boys, where every day's a holiday!

  Pinocchio : [leaving]  But I can't go. I...

  Foulfellow : [he and Gideon stop him]  Why, of course you can go. I'm giving you my ticket.

  [he produces an ace of spades card and gives it to Pinocchio] 

  Foulfellow : Here.

  Pinocchio : Thanks. But I...

  Foulfellow : No, tut-tut-tut, I insist: your health comes first.

  [he and Gideon grab Pinocchio and escort him away] 

  Foulfellow : Come, the coach departs at midnight!

  [he sings the Pleasure Island rendition of "Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee" as they escort Pinocchio away] 

• Foulfellow : [after drunkenly singing "Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee"]  And the dummy fell for it.

  [laughs] 

  Foulfellow : Hook, line and sinker!

  [laughs again] 

  Gideon : [Dips a smoke-ring in his beer and takes a bite]  Hiccup!

  Foulfellow : And he still thinks we're his friends. And did Stromboli pay? Plenty!

  [places a small bag of coins on the table] 

  Foulfellow : That shows you how low Honest John will stoop, eh, Giddy?

  Gideon : [nodding choking on his beer]  Hiccup!

• Foulfellow : [singing]  Hi-diddle-dee-dee / An actor's life for me / A high silk hat and a silver cane / A watch of gold with a diamond chain / Hi-diddle-dee-day / an actor's life is gay / It's great to be a celebrity / An actor's life for me!

• Foulfellow : [seeing a poster for Stromboli's puppet show]  Well, well, well! Stromboli! So that old rascal's back in town, eh?

  [to Gideon] 

  Foulfellow : Remember the time I put strings on you and passed you off as a puppet?

  [laughs] 

  Foulfellow : We nearly put one over on that old gypsy that time.

• Foulfellow : [Picks up Pinocchio's schoolbook and apple, which he eats]  Well, well. Quite the scholar, I see. Look, Giddy. A man of letters. Here's your book

  [hands book to Pinocchio] 

  Pinocchio : I'm going to school.

  Foulfellow : School. Ah, yes. Then perhaps you haven't heard of the easy road to success.

  Pinocchio : Uh-uh.

  Foulfellow : No? I'm speaking, my boy, of the theater! Here's your apple.

  [Hands Pinocchio the apple, eaten down to the core] 

  Foulfellow : Bright lights, music, applause! Fame!

  [Wiggles eyebrows] 

  Pinocchio : Fame?

  [Wiggles eyebrows too] 

  Foulfellow : Yes! And with that personality, that profile, that physique... why, he's a natural-born actor, eh, Giddy?

  Pinocchio : But I'm going...

  Foulfellow : ...straight to the top! Why, I can see your name in lights, lights six feet high! Uh... what is your name?

  Pinocchio : Pinocchio.

  Foulfellow : Pinocchio! P-I-N... er, U-O... Uh, er...

  [chuckles] 

  Foulfellow : We're wasting precious time. Come. On to the theater!

• Jiminy Cricket : All right, then, here's what we'll tell 'em. You can't go to the theater. Say thank you just the same - you're sorry, but you've got to go to school.

  Pinocchio : Mmm-hmm.

  Foulfellow : Pinocchio! Oh, Pinocchio! Woo-hoo!

  Jiminy Cricket : Here they come, Pinoke. Now, you tell 'em.

  Foulfellow : Woo hoo! Oh, little boy! Ah, there you are. Where were we? Ah, yes. On to the theater!

  Pinocchio : Good-bye, Jiminy! Good-bye!

  Jiminy Cricket : Good-bye? Huh? Good-bye?

  [Sees Pinocchio going off with Foulfellow and Gideon] 

  Jiminy Cricket : Hey, Pinoke! You can't go...! There he goes. What'll I do? I'll run and tell his father. No, that'd be snitching. I'll go after him myself.

• Foulfellow : So, Coachman, what's your proposition?

  The Coachman : Well

  [calmly, smoking his pipe] 

  The Coachman : How would you blokes like to make some real money?

  [pulls out a big bag of gold pieces, which he drops on the table with a loud clank] 

  Foulfellow : [his eyes widen]  Well! And who do we have to...

  [makes a throat slashing gesture] 

  The Coachman : No, no, no... nothing like that. You see...

  [moves his eyes slowly left and right with Foulfellow briefly following suit, then leans in with a slight whisper] 

  The Coachman : I'm collecting stupid little boys.

  Foulfellow : Stupid little boys?

  The Coachman : You know... the disobedient ones that are playing hooky from school.

  Foulfellow : Oh...

  The Coachman : So you see...

  [leans in and whispers into Foulfellow's ear indistinctly for a while, his sidekick listens in through his opposite ear, then cleans it out with his finger so he can hear it better] 

  The Coachman : ... and I takes them to Pleasure Island.

  Foulfellow : Ah. Pleasure Island...

  [suddenly has a look of horror] 

  Foulfellow : Pleasure Island? But the law! Suppose they...

  The Coachman : No, no, no, there's no risk. They never come back... as BOYS!

  [his face turns red and morphs to a devil like appearance as he makes with his mouth an large evil grin and a grimace, his eyes bug out and his hair becomes horns with a satan reference. Foulfellow and his sidekick sweat a little as he laughs maniacally, then grabs him by the collar and holds him close] 

  The Coachman : Now, I've got a coach leaving at midnight. We meet at the crossroads, and no double crossing!

  Foulfellow : No sir...

  The Coachman : Scout around, and any prospects you find, bring them to me.

  Foulfellow : Yes, boss.

  The Coachman : I'll pay you well, I've got plenty of gold.

• Foulfellow : [noticing Pinocchio]  Look, Giddy, look! It's amazing, a live puppet without strings! A thing like that ought to be worth a fortune to someone. Now let me see...

  [sees poster for Stromboli's puppet show] 

  Foulfellow : That's it! Stromboli! Why, that old faker would give his... Listen. If we play our cards right, we'll be on easy street or my name isn't Honest John.

  [Gideon nods "No"] 

  Foulfellow : Quick, we'll head him off

  [They follow Pinocchio and head him off near a brick wall] 

  Foulfellow : Shhh! Now is our cha...

  [Gideon takes out a mallet and gets ready to hit Pinocchio] 

  Foulfellow : No, no, stupid!

  [snatches mallet] 

  Foulfellow : Don't be crude.

  [hits him with the mallet] 

  Gideon : Hiccup!

• Foulfellow : [catches Pinocchio with his cane]  Well, well, Pinocchio! What's your rush?

  Pinocchio : I gotta beat Jiminy home - Oh, hello.

  Foulfellow : Well, how's the great actor?

  Pinocchio : I don't want to be an actor; Stromboli was terrible!

  Foulfellow : He was?

  Pinocchio : Yes, he locked me in a bird cage.

  Foulfellow : He did?

  Pinocchio : Uh-huh, but I learned my lesson, I'm going...

  Foulfellow : Oh, you poor, poor boy, you must be a nervous wreck. That's it! You are a nervous wreck. Ahem, we must diagnose this case at once, ahem. Quick, Doctor, your notebook.

  [Gideon gets out a notebook and pretends to jot down notes as Foulfellow examines Pinocchio] 

  Foulfellow : Bless my soul! Hmm... mm-hmm... My my. Just as I thought: A slight touch of monetary complications with bucolic semi-lunar contraptions of the flying trapezius. Mm-hmm. Say "hippopotamus".

  Pinocchio : Hi-ho-ha-amus.

  Foulfellow : I knew it! Compound transmission of the pandemonium with percussion of spasmodic frantic disintegration. Close your eyes! What do you see?

  Pinocchio : Nothing.

  Foulfellow : Open them! Now what do you see?

  [Foulfellow holds his spotted handkerchief in front of Pinocchio's eyes] 

  Pinocchio : Spots.

  Foulfellow : Aha! Now, that heart. Oh, my goodness!

  Foulfellow : [Foulfellow rattles his cane on a nearby windowsill as he pretends to listen to Pinocchio's heartbeat]  Palpitating syncopation of the killer diller with a wicky-wacky stamping of the floyjoy. Quick, Doctor, that report. Ohh, this makes it perfectly clear. My boy, you are allergic.

  Pinocchio : Allergic?

  Foulfellow : Yes, and there is only one cure: a vacation on Pleasure Island.

• [Gideon lifts the loose top of Foulfellow's hat as the fox is struggling to pull it off] 

  Foulfellow : GET ME OUT OF HERE!