Bluebeard's Eighth Wife (1938)
Claudette Colbert: Nicole De Loiselle
Photos
Quotes
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Nicole de Loiselle : [sarcastically] Mr. Brandon, you're terrific. You're gigantic! You're - you're breathtaking. I wish someone would tell you what I really think of you.
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Nicole de Loiselle : I like to see something gay in the morning! Don't you?
Michael Brandon : Not too darn gay. There's not a laugh in me before breakfast.
Nicole de Loiselle : Oh, you should try to brighten up your life!
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Michael Brandon : I don't want to hurt your feelings, but, I don't sleep.
Nicole de Loiselle : Maybe you should see a doctor? By the way, how many pillows do you use?
Michael Brandon : None.
Nicole de Loiselle : Did you ever try putting two pillows under your feet?
Michael Brandon : No.
Nicole de Loiselle : Don't do it. It's very bad.
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Albert De Regnier : I wish I could help you.
Nicole de Loiselle : You can! You're the only person I know who works. Albert, how does one get a job?
Albert De Regnier : Well, what can you do, Nicole?
Nicole de Loiselle : Nothing. Absolutely, nothing. You know, it's incredible how useless I am. I was thinking about it last night and I got terribly depressed. And then I remembered that you found a job and that encouraged me a lot.
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Nicole de Loiselle : Are you staying here long?
Michael Brandon : Well, you never can tell. You know, I'm pretty glad I came to the Riviera.
Nicole de Loiselle : Oh, yes, it's a lovely place. Beautiful. But, the class of people who come here gets worse every year. And this year, we seem to have next year's crowd already!
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Nicole de Loiselle : Here's the check, Mr. Brandon. And let this be a lesson to you: never buy a saddle on a chance that the horse will be thrown in.
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Nicole de Loiselle : Michael, in one word, how many times have you been married.
Michael Brandon : Well, eh, you've heard about Henry VIII?
Nicole de Loiselle : You mean six times!
Michael Brandon : No, seven.
Nicole de Loiselle : You do believe in marriage.
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Nicole de Loiselle : You don't look like a martyr to insomnia.
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Nicole de Loiselle : Take a long word like, eh, Czechoslovakia, for instance, and you spell it backwards.
Michael Brandon : I can't even spell it forward.
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Michael Brandon : Oh, about this Czechoslovakia, when do I do it?
Nicole de Loiselle : You go to bed and turn out the lights and then you start. Oh, it's wonderful! And so easy! A -
[yawns]
Nicole de Loiselle : I - mmm
[stretches]
Nicole de Loiselle : K - ahhh. You only have to worry about Slovakia. By the time you get reach Czech, you're fast asleep.
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Albert De Regnier : Someone you know?
Nicole de Loiselle : I met him once.
Albert De Regnier : Who is he?
Nicole de Loiselle : All I know is he only sleeps in the tops of his pajamas.
[takes a drag from her cigarette]
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Nicole de Loiselle : You seem to be a man full of innuendos.
Michael Brandon : I just try to make myself clear.
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Michael Brandon : I act on the spur of the moment! I act on impulse!
Nicole de Loiselle : Now, Mr. Brandon, don't be too spontaneous.
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Nicole de Loiselle : Never say to an Archduke, "Hey, Archie."
Michael Brandon : You just give me time, I'll learn.
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Nicole de Loiselle : All I know about you is I liked you in a department store and I hated you on a float - and I fell in love with you over a bathtub.
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Nicole de Loiselle : Make up your mind, Michael. Think fast! If you wait much longer it'll be a $150,000. My price goes up every minute.
Michael Brandon : Well, Nicole, you got me on the spot. I'm so crazy about you...
The Marquis De Loiselle : Don't rush, my boy, take your time.
Michael Brandon : It's a deal.
The Marquis De Loiselle : It's a bargain.
Aunt Hedwige : It's a scandal!
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Nicole de Loiselle : Here's to our agreement. No lovemaking. No quarrels.
Michael Brandon : Just like an ordinary married couple.
Nicole de Loiselle : I said no quarrels.
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Michael Brandon : Now, look here, Nichole, I married you...
Nicole de Loiselle : No, you didn't. You bought me.
Michael Brandon : Well, then, fulfill your contract!
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Nicole de Loiselle : [laughing] Micheal, I'm your worst investment. I don't pay any dividends and I'm proud of it.
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Michael Brandon : You think I'm pretty much of a fool, don't you.
Nicole de Loiselle : Yes!
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Kid Mulligan : But, Mrs. Brandon, he's your husband! You must have loved him once.
Nicole de Loiselle : Let's not talk about it.
Kid Mulligan : Oh, come on, Mrs. Brandon, give him a break! Have a heart.
Nicole de Loiselle : All right, knock him out.
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Michael Brandon : Well, Nicole, you win.
Nicole de Loiselle : Someone had to win.
Michael Brandon : I've got to hand it to you. You're the first person that ever licked me.
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Nicole de Loiselle : Why do you think a woman puts a man into a straightjacket? Because she loves him!
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Nicole de Loiselle : Believe me, Michael, I loved you from the moment I saw you. But, you made it impossible. I had to break you down. Now, I didn't want to be just another girl in the Brandon follies.
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Nicole de Loiselle : Things have changed for us both Michael. If I take you now, you can be sure I love you. I'm free, independent, rich! We're on equal terms, Michael.
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Michael Brandon : Stop tickling my face!
Nicole de Loiselle : That's not tickling, that's caressing.
Michael Brandon : Then, don't caress me!
Nicole de Loiselle : Well then, don't pay any attention to it.
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Michael Brandon : Stop caressing me!
Nicole de Loiselle : No, that's tickling, now. You're so mixed up in your emotions, darling.
[kiss]
Michael Brandon : Wait till I get out of this straightjacket. What I'll do to you!
Nicole de Loiselle : Oh, I can hardly wait, Michael! Michael, Michael, Michael.
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Nicole de Loiselle : Have you been knocked out?
Kid Mulligan : Plenty. And believe me there's nothin' like it. Aaah, what a sensation. Once I hit the canvas with a bang and the next minute there I was in a Japanese garden, with them pink cherry blossoms. Another time I was floatin' over Constantinople. I tell ya, ya get to see countries ya otherwise couldn't afford to visit.
Nicole de Loiselle : It sounds perfectly wonderful.
Kid Mulligan : And the time I fought Battleship McCarty, boy I'll never forget that second round. Now I ask ya Mrs. Brandon, where is there another racket where a man of my weight can feel like a flyin' fish?
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Nicole de Loiselle : When I was standing at the end of the counter, I was watching you.
Michael Brandon : You were?
Nicole de Loiselle : Oh, I hope you don't mind.
Michael Brandon : Not a bit.
Nicole de Loiselle : Well, I said to myself, now, if I had to select pajamas for that gentlemen, what would I choose? And let me tell you, if ever there was a stripy-type, it's you! Why don't you try it on?
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Nicole de Loiselle : Oh, it's terrible. We owe everybody! Have you ever had a waiter look at you with un-tipped eyes? And the elevator boy - when I say fourth floor, he says, "Yes, Mademoiselle" and makes a detour through the basement. It's humiliating!
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Michael Brandon : I want some books. I'd say about a, uh, half a dozen.
Book Salesman : What sort, Monsieur? Fiction? We have some very exciting new detective stories.
Michael Brandon : No, no. Nothing like that. I want something to quiet me down. Something to put me to sleep.
Book Salesman : Something to put you to sleep? Oh, what you want are the classics.
Nicole de Loiselle : Yes, and put in one volume of poetry, in case you need a quick nap. There's nothing like blank verse right after lunch.
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Nicole de Loiselle : Let's not quarrel again. We fought all over Europe. You've presented your arguments in every historical spot. The pigeons in Venice are still frightened.
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Nicole de Loiselle : Oh, it's wonderful not to be under parental control anymore. That's what I love about marriage!
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Michael Brandon : [after reading "Taming of the Shrew", marches into Nichole's room, smiles, takes Nicole across his knee, starts spanking her behind] Shakespeare!
Nicole de Loiselle : Oh! Oh, Michael! Michael, don't do that! Stop it! Ow!
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Nicole de Loiselle : What are the plans for tonight?
Michael Brandon : Well, first I thought we'd have a little dinner here and then the choice is yours. I have tickets for the Russian ballet and tickets for the prizefight. It's absolutely up to you.
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Nicole de Loiselle : If you keep your part of the agreement, I'll be very generous. We'll go to the prizefights. But, the slightest slip and you'll find yourself at the Russian ballet.
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Michael Brandon : [singing] Lookie, lookie, lookie, I call her cookie, cause she takes the cake.
Nicole de Loiselle : Oh, the department store, that's where I met you.
Michael Brandon : Yes! You called me the stripy-type.
Nicole de Loiselle : Oh and I meant every stripe of it! Oh, I could have taken you in my arms and kissed you right then and there.
Michael Brandon : [singing] Lookie, lookie, lookie, Here comes cookie...
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Nicole de Loiselle : [laughing] Oh, no, Michael. No, no, Michael, no. You promised me, Michael. No, no, you promised. No! No. No, Michael! No, let me go. No, Michael.
Michael Brandon : You don't want me to. You're just pretending.
Nicole de Loiselle : No, Michael, between you and me there's a whole world of seven wives.
Michael Brandon : Stop being jealous. I'll tell you, I've forgotten they exist!
Nicole de Loiselle : Oh, that's just it! You will buy wives just like - like shirts. And after you've worn them, you toss them away!
Michael Brandon : Don't talk yourself into a laundry complex. Nichole!
[kiss]
Nicole de Loiselle : No, Micheal. No, Michael. Don't do that, Michael.
Michael Brandon : Oh, Nicole, be sensible. I mean, don't be sensible. Don't hide your emotions.
Nicole de Loiselle : Oh, Michael.
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Nicole de Loiselle : Your wife has to stay home all day. And she's such a pretty little woman.
Monsieur Pepinard : Oh, thank you, very much.
Nicole de Loiselle : A little plump. But, it gives her a certain charm.
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Nicole de Loiselle : Well, maybe we can surprise Mr. Brandon. You're going to help me, Mr. Pepinard. I need a man for tonight!
Monsieur Pepinard : Oh, no. Not me.
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Nicole de Loiselle : Michael!
Michael Brandon : Shut up!