Block-Heads (1938)

Stan Laurel: Stan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stan : What's a knick-knack?

  Oliver : Oh a knick-knack is a thing that sits on top of a whatnot.

• Stan : You remember how dumb I used to be?

  Oliver : Yeah?

  Stan : Well, I'm better now.

• Stan : If you want me to go, I'll stay as long as you like.

• Oliver : [Ollie's house key, attached to his pants, is stuck in the lock, so to free Ollie, he had to remove his pants; Stan easily removes the key from the lock]  Why didn't you tell me you had the key out of the lock?

  Stan : Well, you didn't ask me.

  Oliver : "You didn't ask me".

  Stan : Gee, that's pretty underwear.

  Oliver : Don't get personal.

• Stan : Do you think your wife would mind if I smoked my pipe?

  Oliver : Of course not. What's all right with me is okay with her.

  Stan : I know, but a lot of dames are particular.

  Oliver : Well yes, but... What do you mean calling my wife a dame?

• Oliver : Lulu, I haven't seen you in ages. You remember Stan, don't you?

  Lulu : How could I ever forget him.

  Oliver : I just met him today. You know, I haven't seen him in 20 years.

  Stan : No, you see, everybody thought I was dead. Didn't they?

  Oliver : Umm-hmm.

  Lulu : How did you find out you weren't?

  Stan : Well, I figured that - well, I saw my picture in the paper.

• Stan : [Mrs Gilbert is hiding inside a trunk in Ollie's living room, and Stan tries to explain why everyone's acting nervous]  Well, y'see, he's got a girl in the trunk and he didn't want his wife to know.

  Oliver : [incensed]  What did you tell him that for?

  Stan : Well, he asked me.

  Mr. Gilbert : [delighted with Ollie's apparent infidelity]  While the wife's away the rats will play! What do you want to bring 'em into your own home for? Dat's ridiculous. Why don't you come with me some time. I know where there's a whole bunch of blondes! Say, listen, why do you think I go to Borneo all the time!

• Stan : How long did you say it would take us to get up there?

  Oliver : Oh, just a jiffy.

  Stan : How far is a jiffy?

  Oliver : About three shakes of a dead lamb's tail.

  Stan : I didn't think it was so far.

• Stan : [to 901 guy]  There's going to be a fight.

  Stan : [to bypassers]  There's going to be a fight.

  Stan : [to guy going into apartment]  Hey, there's going to be a fight.

  Stan : [to desk guy]  You better call an ambulance. It's going to be terrible. There's going to be a fight.

• Oliver : Why didn't you tell me you had two legs?

  Stan : Well, you didn't ask me... I've always had 'em...

  Oliver : [sarcastically]  You're better now...

• Stan : War is war and I've got my orders.

  French Aviator : What orders?

  Stan : Orders to guard this post .

  French Aviator : Ha-ha-ha! You block-head! The war's been over for 20 years!

  Stan : It doesn't make any difference. When I'm told to do something - eh - what'd you say?

• Stan : How's things and everything?

• Oliver : She's one of the finest little women that ever lived.

  Stan : Don't tell me.

  Oliver : And can she cook.

  Stan : Can she?

  Oliver : Can she! You just wait till you put your legs under that table - eh, pardon me, you just wait till you put your leg under that table and put your teeth into one of those big, thick juicy steaks, covered with mushrooms, and those hot biscuits, oozing with molten butter. And those seven layer chocolate cakes swimming in whipped cream.

  Stan : Any beans?

• Lieutenant in Trench : Private Laurel, you stay here and guard this post until relieved from duty.

  Stan : [to Ollie]  Gee, I wish I was going with you. Take care of yourself, won't you.

  Oliver : Don't worry about me, Stan. I'll be back. We'll *all* be back. So long, pal.

  [all the soldiers except Stan charge out of the trench] 

• Stan : How'd you know I was here?

  Oliver : I saw your picture in the paper!

  Stan : Did you?

  Oliver : Yeah!

  Stan : How'd I look?

  Oliver : Well, you haven't changed a bit!

  Stan : Huh! Neither've you, too. You know, if I hadn't of seen ya, I never would've known ya.

• Oliver : You know, I got married.

  Stan : You don't tell me!

  Oliver : Yeah.

  Stan : Who'd you marry? Fifi?

  Oliver : No. No.

  Stan : Eh, Lulu?

  Oliver : No. No.

  Stan : Camille?

  Oliver : No.

  Stan : I know, Fanny.

  Oliver : No. No. You wouldn't know her. She's a local girl.

• Oliver : I want you to remember, from now on, my home is your home.

  Stan : Thank you, Ollie.

• Oliver : Oh, darling! Oh, sugar! I want you to meet my buddy.

  Mrs. Hardy : Don't sugar me! And how often have I told you not to bring your tramp friends around here!

  Oliver : Oh, but, dear, I haven't seen Stan in 20 years.

  Mrs. Hardy : I couldn't see him in a 100 years.

  Oliver : On, now, dear, this is no time for levity. I've been telling him how wonderful you could cook.

  Mrs. Hardy : Oh, you have!

  Stan : Yeah, why don't you fix one of those nice, big juicy steaks, you know, and the seven layer chocolate...

  Mrs. Hardy : Who put that bee in your bonnet?

  Stan : [points to Ollie]  He did.

• Oliver : Never mind, I'll do it myself.

  Stan : That's right. Whenever you want anything done right, always do it yourself.

• Mrs. Hardy : Where is that big, fat billiken of mine?

  Stan : He's hiding.

  Mrs. Hardy : Where?

  Stan : In there.

  Mrs. Hardy : Oh, he is, is he?