- [first lines]
- Man in Manhole: Say, Joe, what would you do if a lady fell in this manhole?
- Joe - Man in Manhole: Stand up like a gent.
- Man in Manhole: That's all you know! You don't stand up, you tip your hat!
- Restaurant Gossip: Henry Adams was with me. You don't know Henry Adams. Oh, he's a sweet boy. Why, I used to go with Henry before I married George, you see. So, Henry was with me and Henry was a little bit tight and he had one of those high pitched voices and he laughed and he laughed and George heard him on the phone.
- Alfred's Wife - Party Hostess: Alfred, tell us about the time you and Joe were on the roller coaster at Coney Island.
- Mr. Benchley: Oh, that's too long a story.
- Alfred's Wife - Party Hostess: Oh, no it isn't. Go ahead and tell it.
- Mr. Benchley: Oh, but it has no point.
- Party Guest: But, I've never heard it.
- Alfred's Wife - Party Hostess: Alfred, stop acting like a school girl. Really, its a very funny story!