- [in tavern]
- Oliver: [to waiter while tapping a cane on table that Laurel & Hardy gypsied off a guy] Come, come, my man!
- [suddenly the top of the cane pops off and about two dozen gold coins spill out onto the table]
- Oliver: [Laurel & Hardy double take on this]
- Oliver: [smiling] Its a good thing we got his cane.
- Oliver: Hello, honey.
- Ollie's Wife: Don't honey me, you big bag of suet! I told you five minutes ago not to talk to me. I told you an hour ago. I told you a week ago!
- Stanley: Yeah, and you told him a year ago too. Didn't you?
- Ollie's Wife: [to Ollie] I suppose you think you that you can contradict everything I say? Well, you can't, you can't, you can't! And you never will. You think you're a big man, don't cha? Don't cha? Don't cha? Don't cha?
- Stanley: Tell her yes.
- Ollie's Wife: You keep out of this, woodpecker!
- Town Crier: Nine o'clock and all is well! Nine o'clock and all is well! Nine o'clock and all is well! Nine o'clock and all is well! Nine o'clock and all is well! Nine o'clock and all is well! Nine o'clock and all is well!
- Stanley: Could you tell us the time?
- Drunk: Oh, gypsies, eh? Can you tell fortunes?
- Stanley: [pointing to Ollie] He can't, but I can.
- Drunk: Good! Say, there's a coupla things that I'd like to know. And if you can tell me, I'll pay you well.
- Stanley: All right! Your eyes are the windows of your soul. And to know all, I must touch your eyes. Watch closely. Close your eyes, slowly - slowly - slowly - slowly. Shut.
- Drunk: Well, what do you see?
- Stanley: [while picking his pocket] I see a long woman and a dark journey. That's all I see.
- Drunk: Ahhh! Trifle! A long woman in a dark journey. Say, I wouldn't give you one ducat for a fortune like that. Ha! What you mean is a long woman with a tall journey.
- Ollie's Wife: What?
- Oliver: Who's kid is that?
- Ollie's Wife: It's none of your business.
- Oliver: What do you mean it's none of my business? I demand to know who she is!
- Ollie's Wife: Well, if you must know, she's yours!
- Oliver: Mine?
- [smiles]
- Oliver: Well, why didn't you tell me before?
- Ollie's Wife: Because I didn't want her to know who her father was, till she was old enough to stand the shock.
- Oliver: Darling, meet your Uncle Stanley.
- Arline as a Child: How do you do, Uncle Stanley?
- [curtsy's]
- Stanley: I'm pleased to meet you.
- [curtsy's]
- Stanley: Well, Oliver, I hope you grow up to be as good a mother as your father.
- Ollie's Wife: Oh, my love, what has happened?
- Devilshoof: I'm leaving this camp forever.
- Ollie's Wife: Does that mean that...
- Devilshoof: That means that I shall never see you again.
- Ollie's Wife: Oh, but, where will you go?
- Devilshoof: What does it matter? Since I was a boy, I had no other roof, but the stars. I've been free to come and free to go. And I give my love to whom I fancy.
- Oliver: Aren't you ashamed of yourself. After all I've done for you. I took you out of the gutter and gave you a career. Made a first class pickpocket out of you. And this is your gratitude? It hurts, Stanley. I tell you, it hurts.
- Oliver: Well, come on, let's go to bed.
- Arline as a Child: Not before I say my prayers.
- Oliver: Oh, all right.
- Arline as a Child: Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord, my soul to keep, if - if - if? What's next?
- Oliver: [Stanley whispers in Ollie's ear] If at first you don't succeed, try, try - try again.
- Arline as a Child: If you first you don't succeed, try, try, try again. Amen.
- Captain Finn: Your highness, I have captured the prowling gypsy within the palace grounds, whom I've thrown in the dungeon.
- Count Arnheim: Let him remain there until I find time to witness the lashing.
- Captain Finn: But, your highness, it is a woman!
- Count Arnheim: Nevertheless, she shall be lashed!
- Oliver: Stan, Arline's in terrible danger! She's been captured by the soldiers and thrown into the dungeon. Come on, we've got to go to her rescue!
- [Stan hiccups]
- Oliver: You are guzzled.
- Stanley: Oh, phhhhh! Nothing of the - kind.
- Oliver: You would do this just when I need you most. Come on, pull yourself together! We've got to go and help her. Go on. Get!
- Captain Finn: Tie her to the post! Prepare her for the lashing!
- Arline as an Adult: I haven't done anything. Let me go!
- Captain Finn: You are a gypsy! Lash her!
- Gypsy Queen's Daughter: [singing] Dance while the fiddlers are playing, And sing and be gay as you swing...
- [last lines]
- Count Arnheim: Release those prisoners.
- [Oliver is stretched with rack and Stanley is squashed in a press, walking out of the castle. Captain Finn looks at them, exclaims]
- Gypsy Singer: When other lips and other hearts / Their tales of love shall tell, / In language whose excess imparts / The power they feel so well, / There may, perhaps, in such a scene / Some recollection be / Of days that have as happy been and you'll remember me / And you'll remember, you'll remember me.
- Stanley: Don't worry about me. I can gyp that gypsy any time. You know, he's so dumb, he's thicker than mud.